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  • `Tikus` caught, brothers sought for shooting construction supervisor

    `Tikus` caught, brothers sought for shooting construction supervisor

    `Tikus` caught, brothers sought for shooting construction supervisor 1

    SIBU: A 47-year-old man involved in the shooting of a construction supervisor in front of a restaurant in Paradom, about 14 km from here yesterday afternoon, has been arrested by police.

    The suspect known as Tie Teck Ming who goes by the nickname ‘Tikus’, was held by a team from the Sibu Criminal Investigation Department in the Sungai Bidut area, nearly 17 km from the scene today.

    “We are currently questioning (the suspect) and will get a remand order against him tomorrow,“ said Sibu District police chief Stanley Jonathan Ringgit when met at the Central Police Station here.

    Two of the suspects’ brothers, aged 43 and 46, are still at large.

    Asked if the suspect was mentally disturbed as reported in a newspaper yesterday or under the influence of drugs, Stanley said the suspect showed no signs of mental impairment.

    However, he said the suspect may have been under the influence of drugs when provoking the victim, which ended up causing a fight between them.

    “During this period, we will be conducting a urine test on him,“ he added.

    In the incident at about 5pm yesterday, the victim and his friend were at a restaurant before ‘Tikus’ came and caused a commotion.

    A fistfight ensued, in which the suspect used a piece of wood to whack Tikus before the latter ran away with his younger brother Teck Hing, 43.

    The two of them then returned to the scene with Teck Ha, 46, armed with a machete and shotgun, and the victim was shot and injured while trying to escape in his four-wheel-drive vehicle.

    The victim later gave his statement to the police while receiving treatment at the Sibu Hospital.

    Classifying the case under Section 307 of the Penal Code for attempted murder, Stanley urged those with information on the whereabouts of Tikus’ two brothers to immediately contact the police, and warned that the two were armed and dangerous. – Bernama

    `Tikus` caught, brothers sought for shooting construction supervisor
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    https://www.thesundaily.my/local/tikus-caught-brothers-sought-for-shooting-construction-supervisor-KC2136851

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  • The Four Horsemen of Marital Apocalypse

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    Stop to consider your last fight with your spouse. The exact subject may escape you at the moment. We understand. After a while, the spats – over bills, your job, in-laws or the dishes still in the sink – can all blur together. But contrary to popular belief, it’s not the amount of conflict in your marriage or what you argue about that determines your relationship’s survival rate. to marriage researchers, how a couple fights tends to be the best predicator of whether they’ll end up enjoying their golden years together or battling it out in divorce court. So learning to fight less may not be quite as important as learning to fight fair.

    Four Deadly Sins of Marriage

    Dr. John Gottman of University of Washington, one of the foremost marriage researchers, claims he can predict with 90 percent accuracy if a couple will divorce. In his storied “love lab,” Gottman studies how couples interact, particularly how they communicate with each other in heated moments. After 30 years of research, he has pinpointed four behaviors that seem to invariably spell disaster in any marriage. He ominously refers to them as “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.” Every couple needs to be vigilant and ensure none of the four gallop into their marriage and wreak irreversible havoc.

    Horseman #1: Criticism

    The most common horseman that emerges in long-term relationships is criticism. Frustrations, annoyances and resentment inevitably build up when couples live together – day in and day out. And criticism can be how these emotions manifest in the heat of an argument.

    Note that criticism differs from complaining. Criticism focuses on the person. Complaining focuses on the behavior. This may seem like subtle nuance but research shows it is a distinction that makes a significant difference in the long term. For example, this is a critical statement: “You always drive around in circles. You are an awful driver with a terrible sense of direction.” These words are dripping with blame and accusation. They are a personal attack.

    Unlike criticism, complaining has more to do with how the other person’s behavior makes you feel. Complaining usually begins with an “I” instead of “you”: “I get so frustrated when you are driving and don’t know where you are going.” See the difference? The second statement is a negative comment about something you wish were otherwise. So though “I” statements can seem awkward, they really help keep the carnage manageable during explosive moments.

    Horseman #2: Contempt

    You’re an idiot. You can’t do anything right. You make me sick. These contemptuous words have no place in any relationship you value. They are meant to explicitly humiliate or wound. They are toxic and indefensible. Period.

    Contempt includes but is not limited to name-calling, hostility and sarcasm. Keep in mind that contempt can also be conveyed non-verbally. An excessively harsh tone or disgusted eye roll can escalate your garden-variety argument into WWIII in the blink of an eye. Avoid contempt in your arguments at all cost. It is the basest, most childish tactic to resort to in a fight. Strive to respect your wife even when you disagree or feel upset with her. Contempt is like a poison. It will single-handedly erode intimacy. It destroys a sense of security and mutual respect. It does real damage because it makes a partner feel belittled and unloved.

    Horseman #3: Defensiveness

    Criticism+Contempt=Defensiveness. Defensive statements become practically an involuntary reflex in homes where contempt and criticism are regular visitors. It is understandable. After all, who wouldn’t put up their guard in response to an accusatory, belittling spouse? Defensiveness is fundamentally a self-preserving tactic.

    As understandable as this response can be, it is still hugely destructive. It builds walls. Rather than allow room for connectedness, the foundation for conflict resolution, it tends to breed emotional distance. Defensiveness blocks healing and forgiveness.

    Horseman #4: Stonewalling

    Because stonewalling is not explicitly aggressive, couples often underestimate its destructive potential. But it can be just as devastating to a relationship in its passiveness. It is, in effect, giving up. It is withdrawing emotionally. It is essentially closing the door to a resolution.

    Stonewallers withdraw partly because they can feel overwhelmed with emotion. They may keep their faces expressionless, avoid eye contact, hold their posture rigid, avoid any signs of listening such as nodding or encouraging sounds. They radiate icy distance and disapproval to their partners.

    The Secret to Fighting Fair

    Now that you know the four horsemen, make a conscious effort to keep them in the stable before they trample your marriage. One of the best ways to do this is to make “repair attempts” during your next argument. According to Gottman, repair attempts are any words or actions that prevent a conflict from escalating out of control. As simple as it sounds, repair attempts keep a marriage from becoming negative, hostile and distant.

    Repair attempts can be as basic as changing the topic, giving a compliment, apologizing or saying, “I’ve been cranky all day, can we start over?” It can be as simple as saying, “Don’t worry, we’ll get through this” or cracking a joke to diffuse tension. Research even shows couples who touch during arguments also tend to show higher relationship satisfaction. Do whatever works for you when conflict rears its ugly head.

    Remember, the more entrenched the negative patterns of behavior in your marriage become, the more difficult it becomes to break them. Don’t become a victim of these negative cycles. When two mature people can take ownership and be flexible, they will keep their marriage strong even though they may not always agree. As a Scottish proverb says, “Better bend than break.”

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    Source by Grant Langston

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  • Distinguishing Drug Abuse From Drug Addiction

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    Though “drug abuse” and “drug addiction” are often used interchangeably, in reality the terms refer to two distinct behavior patterns. An individual can abuse or misuse drugs without being inevitably addicted to them. Abuse or misuse involves the use of drugs defying the culturally acceptable standards or medically prescribed doses to attain a certain effect. The substances abused may be legal, such as alcohol or prescription drugs, or illegal, like heroin and other street drugs which have no medicinal value.

    On the other hand, drug addiction, or compulsive drug use, refers to an uncontrollable desire to use a drug in spite of being aware of harmful psychological and physiological effects that they can have on the body. Addiction is often characterized by an insatiable appetite for substances by increasing the dosage, leading to a complete dependence on them.

    Since abuse and addiction are two distinct concepts, their causes are unique as well. Abuse is generally considered to be more complicated but it is not necessarily triggered by any motivational factor, unlike addiction which is caused by a powerful motivational force. Therefore, in most of the cases, abuse may not always result in addiction, but addiction can certainly lead to abuse.

    Impact of drug abuse and addiction on the brain

    It has been observed that both drug abuse and drug addiction have similar effects on mind and body. People often view abuse and addiction as a moral weakness or character flaw. One of the common myths surrounding drug use is that quitting it is directly linked to behavioral changes. In reality, addiction is a disease which alters the brain functions, hijacking the natural motivational control circuits. Thus, quitting is simply not a matter of choice or willpower. Though, the decision to use the drug initially might be voluntary, changes in the brain structure due to repeated drug use can inhibit someone’s self-control and decision-making ability, causing intense cravings.

    Experts attribute the inability to refrain from drug use to these changes in the brain. However, modern medical advancements have led to the development of an array of treatment and rehabilitation options to combat the disastrous effects of addiction and help abusers take control of their lives. Studies have shown that a combination of medications and behavioral therapy can boost the recovery process with minimal withdrawal effects.

    Possible reasons leading to drug abuse and addiction

    For those who are dependent on illegal substances, it can be difficult to know whether they have crossed the limit. Here are some possible reasons that can trigger drug abuse or addiction:

    • Connecting socially: A strong desire driven by an urge to fit into a certain group could lead people toward drugs.
    • Dealing with problems in life: Continuous drug use can get individuals accustomed to it, and soon it might become the only way to escape from problems and challenges.
    • Using drugs to combat other issues: Serious concerns, such as panic attacks or chronic pain, can cause dependence on drugs, until people discover healthier alternative methods to counter such problems.
    • Strong influence of any drug: Frequent use of drugs triggers dependence on them. Thus, what started as a voluntary choice may slowly transform into a physical and psychological need.

    Leading a drug-free life

    Many families and individuals have suffered great losses due to addiction to drugs. Fortunately, there is hope, though the battle to eliminate addiction and regain sobriety is challenging. There are numerous treatment strategies that can go a long way in helping people come out of their addiction-related problems.

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    Source by Barbara Odozi

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  • How Do I Convince My Husband That I’ve Changed My Ways So He’ll Give Me A Second Chance?

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    It’s an awful feeling to be looking back on your marriage with negative hindsight. Sometimes, we don’t see things clearly enough until we’re faced with actually losing them for good. I recently heard from a wife who was experiencing this first hand. Her husband had left her after finally becoming tired of her constantly bending the truth, not treating him in a respectful way, acting irresponsibly, and taking him for granted.

    She said, in part: “I was furious with my husband when he left me. I was mad that he would give up on our marriage without giving me any warning first. But after I began to think clearly, I realized that he did give me plenty of warnings but I wasn’t always paying attention. I spent the money that he mostly earned like crazy and put us heavily into debt. I would bend the truth about my activities so I could keep on doing exactly what he wanted. He worked hard while I had the fun. If he mentioned not being happy about this to me, I’d call him a stick in the mud or asked him if he was my father. I flirted with other guys and didn’t show him the respect he deserved. He was nothing but loving, loyal, and good to me, but I didn’t fully appreciate him until now. So now I’m at the point where I fully realize my mistakes and am committed to changing my ways. I’ve gotten a better job and have stopped the spending, lying, and partying. But when I tell him this, he looks at me with doubt in his eyes and doesn’t make any further attempts to see me. If he would only give me a second chance, I could and would prove to him that our marriage could be different. Will he give me that second chance? How can I make sure that he does?” I’ll try to answer these questions below.

    Usually, In Order For Your Husband To Give You And Your Marriage A Second Chance, Several Things Need To Happen All At Once: Over time, it became pretty obvious that this wife was sincere. It has been months since her husband had left. And, during that time, she had gotten a job, adjusted her thinking and her behavior, and really embraced a new way of life that the husband had been encouraging and calling for all along.

    The wife was frustrated that she’d made all of these changes and yet, despite her repeatedly detailing her mistakes and how she had changed them, her husband still had not been receptive enough to give her another chance or to come home. In fact, he’d started talking about divorce, which was especially upsetting to her.

    This wife didn’t understand that in order for your husband to give you a second chance or to be open to a reconciliation, several things need to happen, as follows:

    1. Your husband needs to completely believe that, not only have you really and truly changed, but that you understand why you acted the way that you did and are completely remorseful for it. He needs to believe that you now see the attributes in him that you missed before so that you won’t continue to take him for granted.

    2. Your husband needs to believe that the changes that you made are lasting and that you didn’t only “change” for his benefit. Many husbands suspect that as soon as he agrees to give you another chance or comes back home, you’ll eventually get comfortable again and resort back to your old ways so that he’s having to deal with the same behaviors over and over again without any escape.

    3. Once your husband believes that you’ve made lasting realizations and changes, then he has to perceive that continuing in a relationship or marriage with you is going to be better for him (or make him more happy) than to continue to be alone. Sure, he might believe that it’s possible that you’ve changed. But sometimes, he still feels that too much negativity has happened between you to really salvage the marriage. Or, he doubts if things can ever really “be the same” again.

    Identifying And Addressing Any Doubts That Your Husband Might Have About Giving You A Second Chance. Where Is His Reluctance And His Resistance Coming From? Admittedly, I didn’t personally know either the husband or the wife in this scenario. So, I couldn’t pinpoint which of the above 3 factors was keeping the husband from believing his wife or from giving her a second chance. But, if the wife truly observed the husband’s behaviors and listened to the clues he was likely offering her, then she should be able to figure out what truly stood in her way.

    Most of the time, this is a gradual process because you have to hang in there in order to keep going long enough to over come what is usually a husband’s considerable resistance and doubt. In truth, this couple had been married for years and yet the wife’s changes had only been around for a few months. The husband likely still had his doubts that the changes were sincere or were truly going to last. And he may have also had his doubts if the two of them could be happy again after he’d walked out on her and given up on the marriage.

    The best way to address these doubts was to just continue on with what she was doing and to give the process time to work. Because with time, the husband could likely see that she truly was sincere and absolutely meant what she said. It helps if you can somehow let your husband know that you are incorporating these changes even when he’s not watching you. If a mutual friend or family member comments about the changes in you without your being present, this can help.

    Here’s one more point that I would like to make. It’s entirely possible that the husband was slowing warming to the idea that his wife could change, but that he still had his doubts that the marriage could truly be a genuinely easy or happy one. The wife admitted to me that sometimes things were tense when they were together because she was frustrated that her plan didn’t seem to be working. This was something that needed to be avoided in the future.

    It’s vitally important that your husband sees you being light hearted, fun loving, and very easy to be around. The relationship and the conversations should be light and should not feel awkward or forced. I know that this sometimes takes some doing, but if every interaction feels or reads negatively, then this will often just reinforce the husband’s belief that the marriage is too far gone to save.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

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  • Mad Max: Fury Road Relationship Between Max and Furiosa

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    Mad Max Fury Road is a story that involves two people by the name Max and Furiosa who are held captive and are trying to escape from Hamlet. Max is suffering outrageous fortunes but he is learning from the fortunes while Furiosa has decided to oppose her troubles by taking arms against the leaders of Hamlet. The two characters cannot trust each other at first but due to their circumstances they are forced to rely on each other. Love is humanized in the film where much deeper conventions of love are stricken. Max is a loner and a survivor who has been traumatized in a world where people see him as a blood bag. On the contrary Furiosa is scheming a plan to help five women who have been enslaved in Hamlet. Max does not trust Furiosa and in most parts of the film he holds a gun on her.

    In the middle of these desperate attempts to escape from their chasers Max and Furiosa are forced to depend on each other. In many love stories people fall in love due to opportunities provided by circumstances. The alignment of stars and personal chemistry makes this happen. Every step of the relationship between Max and Furiosa is dictated by their circumstances where the only choice they are left with is to depend and rely on each other and to trust each other in order to escape. In a critical scene Furiosa asks Max his name but he refuses to tell her. In the end Max finally tells Furiosa his name where there are significant happenings throughout the film. These moments appear and vanish in the film through chaos and apocalyptic alienation. Max and Furiosa form an alliance where they try to fight motorcycles that are shooting at them. He leaves her to go to a mission which may be fatal but fears no one would notice if he dies in the mission. Max talks Furiosa out of a suicide mission when he says “you know hope is a mistake”. Max eventually decides hope is not a mistake and went back to Furiosa where he joins her and they plan to oppose the forces against them.

    At the end of the film Max does not stay with Furiosa but he leaves and eventually disappears into the crowd. A modern viewer can resonate with this film in that modern man is alienated from himself, from the world and from fellow men. Everyone is alone, with a deep sense of insecurity, guilt and anxieties which are results of separation that cannot be overcome. Like Max lost his identity in the opening moments, man has lost his identity too, and is overcome by powerful forces that own him. Like Furiosa man tries to search for a community and the only thing he finds is a desert.

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    Source by Jeremiah Otieno Odhiambo

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  • Wrong Reasons For Getting Married – (1) Marrying Out of Sympathy

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    There are right and wrong reasons for getting married. The worst thing a person can do to oneself is to marry a wife or husband for the wrong reason. There are quite a number of wrong reasons why people marry. One of the wrong reasons and perhaps among the most prominent of the wrong reasons is marrying out of sympathy.

    There are many scenarios under this subheading of marrying out of sympathy that relationship coaches experience in the course of counseling and coaching. Some of the most common ones are when the woman gets pregnant as a result of premarital sex and getting married to a person just because one’s brother or sister jilted that person. Between these two extremes, are those who start relationships with girls who are being maltreated by those they serve. Some men get involved with the neighborhood maids or relations of their neighbors who are being maltreated. Women fall into this kind of challenge too.

    When sympathy forms the basis for a relationship with the opposite sex, it is like playing with a keg of gunpowder over a fireplace. Sympathy is a powerful emotion. It so overpowering that it becomes difficult for the parties involved to consider the critical elements in the foundation for a joyful relationship such as friendship, understanding, compatibility etc. If the man is the one sympathizing, he is so enamored into what he sees as the Good Samaritan’s job that he does not consider what stuff the woman is made off, her attitudes, desires and mindset. He does not stop to find out what life purposes she has, what goals she is focused on and how all these could jell into his own desires. If it is the woman that is sympathizing, she goes through the same emotions and also begins to think that if she saves the young man, he would remain loyal to her forever.

    Findings, however, have shown that the truth is far from what these sympathizer-lovers are thinking. If as a result of your efforts the captive is set free, he or she will do what all captives do, “flee”. Fleeing here may not mean running away from their sympathizer-lovers, though that has been known to happen with people who confess that the only feeling they had was to escape the environment. In many instances, the sympathizer-lovers begin to act as saviors and lordships. This is usually resisted, first psychologically and later verbally. And there goes your peace and comfort.

    Marriage relationship requires that both parties are open to each other. Open – meaning that there are no secrets in their hearts that the other partner would not be allowed into. Once these secret feelings are there, it produces reactive communication instead of responsive communication.

    These sympathy missions when it emanates from the premarital sex pregnancy, the woman does not fully get happy in the relationship. This arises from the fact that as the usual challenges appear in the scene, instead of the woman finding a good reason to endure; she only thinks she is in a mess occasioned by the pregnancy. Some have confessed that if they did not get pregnant, there is no way they would end up with the man they are married to. Instead of seeing the usual marriage and child rearing challenges as learning opportunities, they mortify themselves for getting pregnant. And some of the time, they blame the man for putting them in the family way. Some blame the child that resulted from the pregnancy. Hatred for a child has been known to have grown from such situations creating lasting bitterness.

    For the men, having not evaluated the character, demeanor, temperament of their spouse before marriage because of the overpowering influence of the emotion of sympathy, when the woman shows her real character, they are usually overwhelmed. They see themselves as having made terrible mistakes. They now live the rest of their lives in regret, withdrawal or wickedness or under the influence of these three negative but powerful emotions.

    It is necessary that we have it ingrained in the tablet of our hearts that the only reasons good enough for marrying anybody are the foundational elements for joyful relationship. If while in a relationship with the opposite sex there is no opportunity to build friendship and if an understanding of the basic purpose of marriage is not clear to both of you, then there is no other reason why the relationship should continue beyond the next few hours.

    Interestingly, many marriages out there are based on sympathy.

    Young single adults (18-30 years of age) and single adults (31 years and above) should not marry anybody for the purpose of saving face or to save somebody from suffering. Instead of cornering yourselves to this quagmire, why not follow the appropriate dating, courtship and engagement practices where no sexual intimacy is included. There is need to remember that sexual intimacy is only appropriate in a legally and lawfully wedded marriage contract. You need to remember that the basic purpose of sexual intimacy is mainly for procreation and to cement companionship.

    The excitement and pleasure that accompany sexual intercourse is purposed to invite people to take the responsibility that comes with it. Any other use of sexual intimacy outside legal and lawful matrimony is a transgression of the law. And law breakers must bear the full weight of the law. In most cases, there would be no external police to arrest you and no external court to try you and no external prison to sentence you. But there are internal version of the police, the court and the prison and a large farmland where your hard labor would be performed if you commit this offense.

    What is the way to go?

    Here is the way to go. Instead of focusing on sympathy, those planning to get married should focus on what matters most – the purpose of marriage – companionship and procreation. Remember the good Lord Himself said of Adam in the scriptures: “it is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18), hence He made Eve to keep him company. Do not forget also that the same Creator gave them a commandment to “multiply and replenish the earth” (Genesis 1:28). This is the creator’s approval for sexual intimacy in marriage relationship with the intents and purposes clearly spelled out, though. Latter-day prophets have clearly stated that “sex between a man and a woman in a legal and lawful marriage is ordained of God”. These are the foundational elements that must be established before continuing in the plan for marriage with someone. Both parties ought to know and understand this fully. This knowledge and understanding would bear relationships as the foundation of a building bears it. Marrying for any other reason is like standing the building on its roof.

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    Source by Francis Nmeribe

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  • The Catcher in the Rye: Mental Health Services and Social Connections for Children

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    The Catcher in the Rye, by J.D. Salinger, was required reading for my tenth grade English class. I remembered it as a story about the struggles of adolescence, the yearning for independence, and the reluctance to let go of youth. My son is now about the same age as I was when I read the book and we are living through his own nudge for independence, which sparked my interest to give the story another read. Before I began, I wondered what my take on the book would be at this point in life having survived adolescence and received training and experience in child development in addition to having a teen in the house. This reading accentuated the unresolved grief, family dysfunction, mental illness, and lack of social connectedness of the main character, Holden Caulfield, and how these difficulties exacerbate the issues experienced during the typical maturational process. As the country still debates gun control laws in the aftermath of Sandy Hook, and as we try to recover from the Boston Marathon bombing, The Catcher in the Rye reminds us about the importance of developing meaningful and genuine connections with our children and the need to address their mental health issues.

    The Catcher in the Rye begins as a flashback story about Holden Caulfield’s experiences leading up to his nervous breakdown prior to Christmas. Holden narrates the story while receiving inpatient psychological treatment on the west coast. The events begin at Pencey Prep in Pennsylvania, where Holden has been expelled due to poor academic performance, and conclude in New York City as Holden attempts to return home. During the course of his journey, Holden attempts to make connections with a number of people however, he fails miserably due to his social ineptitude, lack of appropriate treatment for what may possibly be bipolar disorder, and inability to believe that other people are capable of being genuine. Holden eventually makes it home and connects with his younger sister. By that time he has decompensated to the point that, even though he is no longer experiencing suicidal ideations, he feels disconnected, misunderstood, and alone. Holden decides that he is going to go away, to escape from society and the rejection, the loneliness, and the pain that he feels. However, Holden makes one last trip to see his sister Phoebe before he disappears. Phoebe’s caring, anger, and innocence provide Holden with the connection he is looking for; she is both a peer and dependent to him. Through Phoebe, Holden is able to cling to his childhood and put off making the leap to young adulthood and independence.

    One theme that I was more attuned to during this reading was the unspoken dysfunction of the Caulfield family. Holden frequently compares himself to his younger, deceased brother, whom he describes as brilliant and athletic, as well as his older brother, who has become a successful author. It is suggested that Holden is a challenging child, and somewhat of a disappointment to his parents as he has been unable to live up to their expectations. He has been expelled from at least four preparatory schools due to poor academic performance, he has difficulty socially connecting with others, and he has frequent mood swings. It is possible that Holden’s parents were drained from watching their youngest son battle with leukemia which left them with little strength to effectively deal with Holden’s grief and potential disability. In Holden’s eyes, they appear to have emotionally and physically divested themselves from him. He has little to no emotional family support and what appears to be very little communication with them. Holden is left adrift to navigate this tumultuous time in his life without support, understanding, and treatment. His efforts to reach out and communicate, including failing out of schools and getting into fights, are not understood as cries for help but are seen as personal shortcomings.

    Holden perceives most people as being phony, superficial, and hypercritical. This may in part be due to his social awkwardness, lack of maturity, and feeling of being abandoned by his parents. He is continuously let down by everyone that he reaches out to for help as they either don’t live up to what Holden has built up in his mind, or they try to take advantage of him. Therefore, Holden comes to believe that everyone is phony who doesn’t or is incapable of meeting his preconceived expectations. In addition, Holden clearly experiences moments of mania during the story, which are often followed by feelings of sadness to the point where he does express some suicidal thoughts. It seems that the lack of communication with his parents, the unresolved grief and guilt over the death of his brother, and the inability to effectively and appropriately connect with others result in Holden being unable to interact with others on anything but a superficial level. The exception to this is Phoebe. Her reluctance to let her brother leave provides Holden with the strength to go home and ask for help. However, in the end, Holden continues to suffer from a lack of love and feelings of loneliness. He states, “Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.” At this point, Holden continues to find it difficult to have genuine, meaningful relationships believing that when you open up to people that they will turn away from you in order to keep the relationship on a superficial level. Holden continues to be plagued by this emotional void and, while there is a hunger for social connectedness, he will continue to experience emptiness and rejection due to his quirkiness.

    For me, reading The Catcher in the Rye in high school highlighted the struggle for independence and Holden’s war on hypocrisy. On this reading, I was able to obtain a better understanding of the tragedy that occurs as a result of Holden’s parents being unable to provide him the emotional support that he needs to overcome his brother’s death and deal with his mental health needs. Holden’s repeated failure to socially connect and develop a meaningful relationship with anyone other than his sister and the lack of treatment for his mental health issues made me think of the recent tragedies in Colorado, Sandy Hook, and Boston. It reinforced the need to take mental health needs and services seriously; just because these conditions are unseen doesn’t mean that they aren’t debilitating. Feeling cared for and connected to others reduces the stress, stigma, and isolation that are associated with these conditions. It made me wonder whether these tragedies could have been avoided if the people involved had received appropriate therapy and treatment. They may have felt connected and accepted, and these tragedies may have been avoided. The message of being accepted and cared for from The Catcher in the Rye continues to be relevant to young people today as we all strive for acceptance.

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    Source by David Pino

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  • The Central Theme of Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki – Look For Assets Not Liabilities

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    Rich Dad Poor Dad has been reviewed by many writers. The book, written in 1997 by Robert Kiyosaki, immediately became a success. The concepts expressed therein are the foundation of Robert Kiyosaki’s Rich Dad book series.

    Rich Dad Poor Dad expresses a number of concepts that seem contrary to the established norms of accounting and finance. Robert Kiyosaki defines an asset as anything that puts money in your pocket and a liability as something that takes money away from your pocket.

    In Rich Dad Poor Dad and indeed the entire Rich Dad series, Robert Kiyosaki encourages his readers to look for assets and avoid liabilities. This is the key message to those who want to become wealthy and prosper financially.

    Based on the definition of assets and liabilities is the concept of making money work for you instead working hard for money. Money works consistently and diligently for a wise owner multiplying beyond expectations. You cannot become rich by working for money.

    You earn passive income when you get your money to work for you, a concept explored exhaustively in Rich Dad Poor Dad. Passive income is the foundation of wealth as it gives leverage to your efforts. After setting up an income stream, it continues to make you money while you sleep.

    The Rich Dad Corporation has three main shareholders: Robert Kiyosaki, his wife Kim Kiyosaki and Sharon Lechter. The three of them are co-founders of the RDPD Corporation under which they have produced a range of RDPD books.

    Kim Kiyosaki has written her own line of Rich Women, Poor Women which is based on the same basic principles expressed in Rich Dad Poor Dad but is directed to a different audience altogether. Riding on the back of her husband, Kim Kiyasaki’s books have also been very successful, drawing millions of satisfied readers.

    Robert Kiyosaki has influenced the lives of millions around the world through his books, helping many to become aware and get rid of doodads, thus eliminating liabilities from their financial life. He has conducted millions of seminars and training programs. He is dedicated to educating humanity in business principles and handling of personal finances, thus helping them to escape poverty.

    The Rich Dad Series gives many practical examples of how to grow money using real estate, the stock market and business. The books confirm Robert Kiyosaki’s qualities as educator and motivator, and his understanding of economics and money concepts. Employing skills as educator and his knowledge of money matters, Robert Kiyosaki has been able to build an empire on the concepts expressed in Rich Dad Poor Dad.

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    Source by Robert Mato

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  • How Long Do You Grill Pork Loin Per Pound?

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    Introduction

    Whether you are grilling outside on the grill or in the broiler oven, there’s nothing quite as tasty as a grilled pork loin. But if you are inexperienced with cooking this particular cut of pork you may have some questions: How long do you grill pork loin per pound? What grilling techniques should I know about? With what shall I flavor the pork? We will address each of these questions and provide you with insightful tips that will help you make the perfect pork loin dinner for your family.

    Cooking Time — The Short Answer

    The complete answer to the cooking time is a little more involved than simply telling you an amount of time per pound and a temperature to cook this cut of pork and expect it to be done perfectly when the time is up. However, if you were to be given a fairly accurate short answer concerning the cooking time of a pork loin, it would be this: About 22 minutes per pound at about 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

    Please understand that there is more to cooking a pork loin than simply pre-heating a grill or an oven to a certain temperature, set the timer, and expect excellent results. Please allow an explanation that will give a little more information before you run off and set the meat on the grill.

    The Complete Grilling Procedure

    The first thing to do, whether you are cooking on the outdoor grill or in the broiler oven, is to sear each side of the pork loin with high heat. Searing it will help keep in the moisture so you end up with a very tender and juicy cut of pork. Cook the pork loin on direct high heat for about two (2) or three (3) minutes on each side of the pork loin. Sear the lean side first, then the fat side. When turning any meat, do not use a fork as it will puncture the seared surfaces of the meat and allow moisture to escape easily. To preserve the moisture always use a pair of tongs to turn meat.

    — On the Grill:

    I am among many Americans who love the taste of foods cooked on the outdoor grill. And what better meat to cook on the grill than a pork loin? Most people don’t think of cooking a “pork roast” on the grill, and technically a pork loin is a pork roast. But because of its narrow thickness, it is the ideal “pork roast” to cook on the grill.

    When grilling, there are common processes to follow regardless of which kind of grill you have.

    1. Pre-heat the grill for searing.

    2. When grilling on an outdoor grill, turn the meat often to simulate a rotisserie. A pork loin should be turned every few minutes to cook evenly and retain its moisture.

    3. In order to preserve the moisture, always use tongs instead of a fork to turn meat.

    4. Searing meat requires that it is exposed to direct high heat for two (2) or three (3) minutes on each side.

    5. Pieces of meat, such as a pork loin, that are larger than chops or steaks should be cooked on low, indirect heat at around 350 degrees Fahrenheit. If your grill has vents in the lid, cook the pork with the vents open.

    6. A meat thermometer should be used to ensure that the pork loin is between 160-170 degrees Fahrenheit on each end and in the middle. For pork 160 degrees Fahrenheit is medium well and 170 degrees Fahrenheit is well done. Below 160 degrees Fahrenheit you risk food poisoning or worm infection. It is best to check the temperature about 10-15 minutes prior to the completion time so you can make adjustments to the cooking time.

    Once the pork has been seared on each side, follow these instructions for various types of grills…

    • Charcoal Grill: Separate the charcoal into two (2) piles on either side of the grill to allow the pork loin to be laid between them.

    • Gas Grill – Two Elements: Lay a piece of aluminum foil across the middle between the two elements and lay the pork loin on the aluminum foil. Cook on low heat.

    • Gas Grill – Three or More Elements: Turn off the inner elements and allow only the outer two elements to cook on low heat. Lay the pork loin half way between the operating elements.

    — In the Broiler Oven:

    In the cold weather of winter you may not want to do any outdoor grilling. When using a broiler oven you should follow similar procedures as grilling on an outdoor grill. Always use tongs instead of a fork to turn meat. And a meat thermometer should be used to be sure that the pork loin is between 160-170 degrees Fahrenheit on each end and in the middle. For pork 160 degrees Fahrenheit is medium well and 170 degrees Fahrenheit is well done. Below 160 degrees Fahrenheit you risk food poisoning or worm infection. It is best to check the temperature about 10-15 minutes prior to the completion time so you can make adjustments to the cooking time.

    1. Pre-heat the broiler and broiling pan for 15 minutes. If your broiler has multiple heat setting, then set to high broil.

    2. Set the pork loin on the broiling pan fat side up to sear for three (3) minutes.

    3. Turn the pork to fat side down to sear for another three (3) minutes.

    4. Turn off the broiler and turn on the oven. Bake in the oven at 350 degrees Fahrenheit on the broiling pan, fat side down, for the remainder of the time.

    5. Make sure to check the inner temperature with the meat thermometer at both ends and in the middle about 15 minutes prior to completion of cooking time in order to avoid over cooking.

    — Rotisserie Oven:

    Interestingly enough the pork loin will come out more tender and juicy when cooked in a rotisserie than either the outdoor grill or broiler oven. A meat thermometer should still be used to be sure that the pork loin is between 160-170 degrees Fahrenheit on each end and in the middle. For pork 160 degrees Fahrenheit is medium well and 170 degrees Fahrenheit is well done. Below 160 degrees Fahrenheit you risk food poisoning or worm infection. It is best to check the temperature about 10-15 minutes prior to the completion time so you can make adjustments to the cooking time.

    Because the rotisserie cooks meat faster than either the outdoor grill or the broiler oven, you may need to reduce the cooking time to about 18 or 20 minutes per pound. It is still recommended to use a meat thermometer. However, because the rotisserie automatically sears all sides of the meat there is no need to sear the pork.

    Let It Stand

    For juicier, tenderer pork loin, when the pork loin has finished cooking let it stand at room temperature for 10-15 minutes before serving.

    Flavor/Seasoning

    A pork loin can be marinated in your favorite flavor marinade in the refrigerator overnight. You will likely find marinades at any supermarket. If you marinate in the refrigerator overnight, you’ll need to puncture the meat several times to allow the marinade to soak into the meat. Follow the instructions on the package of marinade.

    Many cooks prefer to use a dry seasoning rub. Seasoning your pork loin is as easy as liberally coating with season salt, garlic powder, and pepper, then rubbing the seasoning into the meat. You can also place the seasoned meat into a plastic bag and leave it in the refrigerator overnight.

    There are also injection methods of marinating that would NOT require overnight marinating. In addition to injection marinating, there are also methods of injecting solid objects such as chopped garlic, chopped onions, or chopped pineapple.

    If you prefer sweeter pork, apple sauce or apple butter (or even pineapple puree) can be injected into the meat of the pork loin. Or a slit can be made down the middle of the pork meat and the apple sauce or apple butter (or pineapple) can be inserted and the pork tied with string every one (1) or two (2) inches according to how you will cut the pork loin when it is done cooking.

    Summery

    In this article we have discussed the answers to questions such as: How long do you grill pork loin per pound? What grilling techniques should I know about? How shall I flavor the meat? If grilled properly a pork loin with all the trimmings will make a wonderful and delicious meal that your family will absolutely love.

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    Source by Michael T. Conway

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  • How Smoking (Drug Abuse) and Drinking (Alcohol) Affects Your Academic Performance

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    One day, Barack’s mother, Ann Dunham marched into his room, wanting to know the details of Pablo’s arrest. “Don’t you think you are a little casual about your future?” she asked. “What do you mean? he responded. “Bar, you know exactly what I mean. Your friend Pablo was just arrested for drug possession, and your grades are slipping. You haven’t even started on your college application.”

    Barack Obama was a serious and brilliant student before he gained admission into Punahou School, Honolulu. In this school, he joined the “Choom gang”. It was a self-named gang that spent time together drinking alcohol, smoking marijuana and sniffing cocaine. Drugs made the choom gang popular in school. His relationship with the choom gang prospered, but his academics suffered. Drugs and alcohol made him lose focus. All he thought about was how to get high. He and his friends Ray, Pablo, Mark and others exhausted their time devising simply ways of doing drugs, which include total absorption (TA), the antithesis and the choomwagon. Reading was difficult because he was always high and confused. Indeed, he was heading towards becoming a junkie.

    His performance in school was a mess. Barack’s mother was right. His grades were going down every term. He was not even bothered about admission to college. All he thought was drugs because it was part of him. Truly, his friend Pablo was arrested by the police for drug possession.

    When pressure from his mum and his poor performance became unbearable, he thought about not going to college. Nevertheless, Barack’s mother kept encouraging him. She always told him that he could get into any school in the country if he just put in a little effort. Within him, he knew that the “effort” he needed was to quit drugs.

    He managed to graduate without mishap and was admitted into Occidental College in Los Angeles. Even without the choom gang around, Barack continued his drug escapade. To continue his education, Barack was transferred to Columbia University, New York.

    In New York, he decided to stop getting high. For the first time in years, Barack applied himself to his studies. He regained his love and strength for reading. Reading and understanding became easy because he was focused and at alert always. Barack began to trace out his future. It became clear that he had been wasting his precious time on drugs. He attended class regularly and soon graduated with good grades.

    “Using drugs and alcohol was a seriously misguided mistake. It was my greatest moral failure that could have destroyed my future. Maybe if I had not stopped doing drugs, I might have dropped out of school and wouldn’t have become the 44th President of the United States”, he once said.

    Lesson

    Drug and alcohol use on campus is universal. Students articulate many reasons why they do it, but most neglect to consider the academic and long-time consequences of their actions. Some are compelled to use drugs at social gatherings either because everyone else seems to be doing it or they believe it’s the cool thing to do. Others feel that drug and alcohol abuse offers an escape away from school or work-related stress, financial worries or relationship problems. Some feel that alcohol and drug abuse provide a way to compensate for feelings of shyness or low esteem.

    According to one study, 90% of teens said they have used alcohol; 50% have used marijuana; 17% have used cocaine, and 13% have used some form of hallucinogenic drugs. Drug use has been classified as a major problem of students as early as in primary 4. A recent report published by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration suggests that adolescents who receive grades of D or below are more likely than those in good academic standing to have recently used cigarettes, alcohol and/or other illicit drugs.

    The new research is part of a large-scale study of health and development conducted in New Zealand. Researchers administered IQ tests to over 1,000 individuals at age 13 (born in 1972 and 1973) and assessed their patterns of cannabis use at several points as they aged. Participants were again tested for IQ at age 38, and their two scores were compared as a function of their marijuana use. The results were striking: Participants who used cannabis heavily in their teens and continued through adulthood showed a significant drop in IQ between the ages of 13 and 38-an average of 8 points for those who met criteria for cannabis dependence. (For context, a loss of 8 IQ points could drop a person of average intelligence into the lowest third of the intelligence range.) Those who started using marijuana regularly or heavily after age 18 showed minor declines. By comparison, those who never used marijuana showed no declines in IQ.

    Researchers studying the effects of alcohol use on the brain are aided by advanced technology such as magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), diffusion tensor imaging (DTI), position emission tomography (PET) and electrophysiological brain mapping (EBM) showed that long-term heavy drinking lead to shrinking of the brain which impairs learning, memory formation and retrieval. That is why most times we read and forget within a short period.

    The process of generating new brain cells (i.e., neurons) is called neurogenesis. High level of alcohol leads to a disruption in the growth of brain cells. The decline of the number of brain cells leads to problems in learning and behaviour. The number of brain cell a student possesses determines his level of understanding. A student who has a higher amount of brain cells will do better academically.

    Thiamine, also known as vitamin B1, is an essential nutrient required by the brain. Up to 80% of alcoholics have a deficiency in thiamine, which may lead to memory loss and mental confusion. It might also affect your attention and concentration. Substance abusers easily get distracted; misplace things, forgetting to keep appointments and so on. As the brain continues to adapt to the presence of the drug, regions outside of the reward pathway are also affected. Brain regions responsible for judgment, learning, and memory begin to physically change or become “hardwired.” Learning, reading, and comprehension becomes difficult because the brain had been wired to focus on alcohol.

    Alcohol can produce detectable impairment in memory after only a few drinks and as the amount of alcohol increases so does the degree of impairment. Large quantity of alcohol can produce a blackout or an interval of time for which the intoxicated person cannot recall key details of events or even an entire event. Think about how much study time you have lost because you were too hung-over the next day to go to class. Drug abusers oversleep and are always tired.

    Severe Hallucination is another problem faced by drug users. Most times they lose touch with realities during lectures or examination. Physically they are in class but mentally they are somewhere else. Academics requires both physical and mental alertness. Therefore, a “high” students can attend lecture but will derive nothing because he was busy building castles in the air. Hallucination leads to academic failure.

    Everyone who became a drug or alcohol addict started with “let me taste or try it.” Smoking cigarette or Indian hemp or drinking alcohol is not a sign of “big boy or big girl”. It is not a sign of maturity but immaturity. You should not please your company by abusing drugs or alcohol. Drugs and alcohol are slow poisons. It solves no problem, if you get high because of financial stress, relationship problems, shyness or peer pressure, after some minute, you will get low and the problem will still be there.

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    Source by Anyaehie George Kelechi

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