Tag: dirt

  • Selecting the Character's Emotion

    Selecting the Character's Emotion

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    The last article covered the process used in selecting and portraying the character's objective. Many of the same principles also apply to the selection of the emotions. As with the objective, the ability to choose and convey strong emotions is a valuable tool for the actor. Many performances work mainly because of the powerful emotional portrayals.

    In a dramatic sense, what are emotions and how do they affect the audience? Emotions, together with intentions and obstacles, are the forces that move the characters through the story. They are feelings so powerful that they can change the character's life or destroy it. And by destroy, I mean decimate one's inner powers, beliefs, even one's life. For the actor, such feelings must be larger than life. They must also be readable to stir and lead the audience in the desired story direction.

    Emotions affect the audience in many ways. Most important is the empathy they create causing the audience to care about certain characters and follow their struggles. They likewise, create a for or against polarity for each main character as the audience observes, evaluates, judges, and even takes sides. As part of the behavior, emotions create deeper awareness of the character, often justifying their actions. In addition, emotions can change the audience perspective and the way they feel or think about a given issue. They are instrumental in leading the audience in the desired story direction

    Like the intention, the emotion can intensify the conflict within or between characters. It can likewise, establish sympathetic or antagonistic roles, ones that make the audience root for the hero and boo the villain.

    In choosing the emotion, the guidelines are similar to those used in selecting the objective. First read and study the entire play. Look for clues in the dialogue, the action, the stage directions, and in the resolution of the story. Select choices that result in the story line making sense.

    Like the intent of the character, the emotion is derived from the character's viewpoint, what the character knows and feels up to that point in the story.

    No one lives in a realistic world. We occupy a space of our own creation – bits and pieces of actuality mixed together with our internal perceptions, our hopes, our fears, our memories, and our anticipations. This "reality" we live in – half fact, half fantasy – is as much the product of our emotions as our rationality. Thus, in any given situation, what might be an acceptable intention and emotion for one character might be a contradiction for another character. Knowing the character's goals, flaws, and inclinations in context of the total story will aid in determining these choices.

    Next, we need to answer the question, does the character's emotion assist the intention or does the emotion create an obstacle? Placing the objective, what the character wants, in conflict with what he or she feels will likely shift the focus of the scene to the character with the greater internal struggle.

    Let's use the example where a man is at a dance and sees the women of his dreams sitting alone. His intention might be: To get to know her. But his emotion, fear of being rejected, would be in conflict with his intention. Thus the focus of the scene would be primarily on his internal struggle and the purpose of the scene might be to show the man overcoming his fear.

    But let's say her intention, to marry rich, is assisted by the emotion, ambition. And the scene resolves when the women walks away when she discovers the man is dirt poor. If his initial emotion of fear were replaced by desire and his intention remained to get to know her then the focus of the scene would center more on the relationship and the impending discovery. The purpose of the scene could be to introduce his major obstacle in the story, the women, along with his over all goal: To win her love.

    The initial choices for each character might look like this:

    MAN

    Objective: To get to know her

    Emotion: Fear / Desire

    WOMAN

    Objective: To marry rich

    Emotion: Ambition

    The above choices set up confrontations, the inner doubts of the man, and then, his desire for her is countered by the revelation that he's not rich enough for her. After the woman learns this, her emotion changes to contempt for the man and she walks away. The characters' choices would now change to:

    MAN

    Objective: To win her love

    Emotion: Determination

    WOMAN

    Objective: To marry rich

    Emotion: Contempt (for the man)

    These choices place the focus of the scene on the major conflict that is resolved later in the story when he wins her love. It, likewise, centers on what's important, the relationship.

    As with the intention of the characters, the emotion need not follow the logic of the dialogue and action. Modern plays and movies do not always express the thoughts and emotions of the characters clearly, nakedly, up front. Today, we have to play the duality of people; playing what they appear to want against what they really want. And sometimes the two may have no connection what so ever.

    In modern plays, every character has two behaviors. What is really going on and what they are willing to show to the world? So many emotions, to be played properly, need to be partially masked or repressed.

    Using the man and woman from our earlier example, let's set up a scene later in the story, one that demonstrates the duality of the characters and uses of partially masked or repressed emotions. At a shopping mall, they meet by chance and their dialogue is mainly small talk. The scene ends with each alluding to errands undone. The only hint about what is really going on is found in the following script action lines:

    He rarely looks directly at her.

    They shake hands, each holding on longer than necessary, and then each goes their way.

    In view of the story's final outcome, this is likely a scene where her objective, to marry rich, is weakening, and that she has some attraction for the man. Based on how their first meeting resolved, their selections might be as follows:

    MAN

    Objective: To not upset her / To win her love

    Emotion: Desire / Determination

    WOMAN

    Objective: To show him I don't care / To make him want me

    Emotion: Determination / Curiosity

    This would be a scene where the characters are not open with each other, yet the audience (or camera) is aware of the inner conflicts and what's really happening. The behavior could best be reflected through masked and / or repressed emotions.

    If the man were to play his emotion of desire openly, he would surely upset her. So he has to repress it or use a mask technique and unleash his desire when she is not looking at him. The woman is determined to show the man she doesn't care about him, but now he appears to have no desire for her. From her point of view, something has come to change the relationship and as a result, she alters both her objective and emotion.

    His apparent disinterest makes her curious and her objective in now: To make him want me, like all men do. Her actions might be to get his attention, to entice him. But the problem is, he's not looking at her. How can she obtain what she wants? She uses the lingering handshake.

    You can see where these choices create conflict both within and between the characters. They also create subtle shifts in behavior that move the story forward. Interest in the relationship is likewise increased because the audience is aware of something the characters are not. And as the scene ends, the audience has a pressing question: "What will happen the next time they meet?"

    The foregoing example demonstrates one answer to the character's choices. These are, by no means, the best or only selections. In fact, the type of actor you are is also a consideration. If you were Jack Nicholson, your emotions might be different than if Arnold Schwarzenegger were he playing the same role. Each actor brings to the scene his or her own perspective and emotional latitudes. Furthermore, a scene played as a comedy versus one being played as a drama might result in different sets of emotions for the characters.

    Here are some other factors that should be considered: Who are you in the story? What is the situation, and what is the relationship? For instance, if you were playing a love scene as a character that had little experience with the opposite sex, your emotion might be fear (fear of the unknown) rather than the expected desire or lust.

    Now change the situation to your having a good dinner with your loving spouse. Your emotion would change to maybe contentment or joy. Now change the relationship to your having dinner with an important client. Your emotion might range from apprehension to ambition to greed. Who you are, the relationships, and the situation, all have a bearing on the emotion selected.

    How many emotions can you use in a scene and how long do you play an emotion? As a general rule, work with only one dominant emotion in a scene – until something occurs to change it. These occurrences could be a change in the relationship, the situation, who you are, new information, overcoming obstacles, new obstacles, and succeeding or failing at one's intention. Any one of these events could have enough impact to motivate a change.

    Most scenes have one dominant emotion running through them and while the actor may use subtle shadings of other emotions, that one feeling prevails – until something occurs to change it. If the actor were to change the emotion at each minor occurrence, the audience would question the character's integrity and loyalty to the cause for which he is fighting.

    Too many changes cause the character to lose part of his identity. We become uncertain about who he is, what he's attempted in the past, or what he's after now. Credible characters are made up of consistent behavioral patterns. By that I mean, what has happened before will likely happen again should the same situation occur. There will, of course, be a few surprises, but for the most part, certain emotions will dominate each character's behavior as he or she progresses through the story.

    So when you research and study the entire play, you will likely find certain emotions and emotional patterns repeated to reinforce the identity and commitment of the character. For instance, the repeated pattern of mischief – embarrassment – fear might be the dominant emotions for a small overly rambunctious boy. A young executive struggling with business ethics might have an emotion pattern of ambition – determination – greed – guilt. A woman in jeopardy might follow a curiosity-suspicion – fear – terror progression.

    As you can see, certain emotions and their progressions make up a portion of the character. Also look for surprises where the emotion swings 180 degrees, ie, contentment to fear, desire to contempt, revenge to compassion.

    When working on a play or scene, write down in the margin of the script your choices in objectives and emotions, where the changes occur, and the motivation for making the change. Beginning actors tend to be non-committal while experienced actors, however, take dramatic risks and commit themselves to their choices. By writing them down, you've made a major step to that commitment.

    To aid in selecting the emotion, I've compiled discussions of root emotions , the primary forces in most scenes. These discussions explore the physical sensations, sources, forms, and dynamics of the most common root emotions. They will serve as a guide in stretching the clarity, strength, and polarity of your emotional repertoire.

    This article has covered the basic skills used in the selection of dramatic emotions. Use these skills as tools to nurture and release the character's true feelings, to foster the isolation and control of emotional behaviors, and to achieve the desired strength (story importance), clarity (audience knowing / feeling it) and polarity (protagonist-antagonist orientations ).

    Implementation of your selections is addressed in another article. This article will cover the various methods used to generate credible emotions.

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    Source by Erik Sean McGiven

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  • Efficient Home Remedies to Cure Eczema

    Efficient Home Remedies to Cure Eczema

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    Are you one of the people who have fallen victim to Eczema? Do you happen to know any person who is suffering from this condition? Eczema is a type of skin disorder that causes the affected person to start getting skin redness, itchiness, flakiness and in some instances some people even start bleeding. This is a condition which mainly affects children but there are also some adults who fall victims as well. Eczema is a very irritating condition which tends to make people very uncomfortable. This is why it is important for one to try and ensure that they handle it as soon as possible.

    There are different cures that have been designed to deal with eczema and they come in the form of topical medicines and topical creams. The only problem with these treatments is that they all cost money and some people may not be in a position to afford them. The great news is that there are different types of efficient home remedies to cure Eczema out there. Here are some few examples of the Eczema cure options that exist.

    1. Water Treatment

    If you are one of those people who may not be comfortable using the topical creams or other forms of medication, you might find water quite useful. Place cold water in a compress then apply it onto the affected skin twice a day. This will help in soothing the itchiness on the infected areas. The water can also be used to make an anti-eczema solution when mixed with almond leaves.

    2. Take baths with mild cleansers

    You need to maintain high levels of hygiene when fighting Eczema. These can be attained by taking a proper bath up to twice a day to ensure that your skin stays free of any impurities and dirt. This can be done by using mild soaps or cleansers which can be used to clear toxins and dirt from the skin surface.

    3. Coconut Oil

    This is one of the efficient home remedies to cure Eczema. This is because it has the ability to maintain the suppleness and softness of the skin. You just need to apply it on the affected area of ​​the skin and it will ensure that your skin stays nourished. Avoid the commercial lotions because most of them end up harming your skin.

    4. Papaya Seeds

    Papaya is a good Eczema cure because it helps in reducing the skin itchiness. It is prepared by mashing the seeds then applying them over the area of ​​the skin that has eczema.

    5. Spearmint

    The spearmint can help in soothing the swelling and itchiness that is caused by Eczema. You need to make a juice from spearmint leaves then apply it on an infected area.

    6. Mudpack

    Mudpack is one of the good Eczema treatments that you can use at home. This is because of the soothing effect that it has on the face. It is also considered to be a form of facial spa. You just need to apply it directly over the affected area and you will feel the relief instantly.

    7. The Sun as a Vitamin D source

    Exposure to the sun can also help in killing the bacteria that cause Eczema. The sun is also a rich source of vitamin D.

    The good thing about using home remedies to cure Eczema is the fact that they are readily available and the fact that the ingredients are mostly natural, there are no side effects.

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    Source by Veronica Ayuste

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  • How to Organize Your Medicine Cabinet

    How to Organize Your Medicine Cabinet

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    Just like your own closet, medicine cabinets can be quite a mess sometimes, especially if you have lots of medicines stored.

    These days, with the pharmaceutical industry booming, you can find a wide variety of medicines sold for different health conditions. Companies competing against one another while consumers are on the go for searching the best medicine brand to buy other there for their health problem.

    You may be one of those people out there who is facing a dilemma when it comes to organizing medicines properly in the medicine cabinet. At times, when you have lots of medicines already stored, it becomes harder to find the medicine you are looking for when necessary. This could be due to a lot of different factors, such as inappropriate labeling, expired medicines piled up, and so on and so forth.

    Yet despite of that, there are still ways to make your medicine cabinet organize and neat again. There is no need to spend money or hire someone to do it for you. It is very easy and you can do it in an instant. The following are some of the tips you can consider to organize your medicine cabinet well:

    Color Code

    Why not apply color coding method when handling your medicines? If there’s a lot in the family who is taking medicines, then try to classify each one of them according to color. You may want brands to be grouped separately or put a color on each medicine to separate them according to date and time of administration. It totally depends on you. You are the best person who knows how to color code your medicines best.

    Medicine containers

    A medicine cabinet can become so messy at times, especially if all the medicines aren’t placed well in separate containers.

    You may want to organize your medicines according to their form by placing them in different containers. For example, all tablets will be placed in a different container and same goes with liquid medicines.

    This way, it would be easier to find and pull out a medicine you need at the moment because you already know where you placed it.

    These days, you can find various types of medicine containers available for sale. You can buy them in the department store or at your local drug store. You can do a DIY too if you like.

    Label each container

    Even though you place all your medicines in separate containers, it would still be hard to search for each if they are not labeled properly.

    Don’t forget to label each container according to the categories you have made. Label each container correctly and clearly.

    Labeling containers does not have to be hard and complicated. Just cut a small piece of paper, just appropriate to the size of the container, and then stick it on the front, then mark it with a pen. You can even be as creative as you would like and put some colors, stickers, and some cute decorations on the container or label to add more beauty to the space.

    Clean your medicine cabinet

    Make sure to clean your medicine cabinet every so often. You need to constantly check for expired or damaged medicines and throw them away right away. Of course, you also need to dispose each expired medicine properly according to the disposal instruction written on the label.

    By cleaning your medicine cabinet, you need to wipe out dirt and dust. This will ensure that all your medicines remain to be in good condition.

    Honestly, cleaning your medicine cabinet every so often would pose more benefits because doing so will prevent your cabinet from smelling bad, especially with expired medicines that not thrown away. Aside from that, this will keep the potency of your usable medicines.

    Have enough space

    While it is important to make use of the storage spaces available in your medicine cabinet, occupying the entire space without enough room for your hands to move inside would really be bothersome.

    Make your medicine cabinet tidy and well organized by not stocking too many items inside, especially those that do not belong to this type of storage space. Even the way you place the containers should be taken into consideration so that they will not all look jumbled up.

    If you think organizing your medicine cabinet is hard, you need to think again. Follow these simple tips and you would surely not regret it.

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    Source by George Patt

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  • The World Needs More Love!

    The World Needs More Love!

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    When I was out the other day I saw a paper bag that said something like, ‘the world needs more love.’ This is something that is hard to deny, considering how much suffering and destruction there is.

    One only needs to watch the news or to pick up a paper to hear about something negative that is taking place. What plays a part in this, of course, is that is that these sources have the tendency to focus on the bad things that are taking place and to overlook the good things.

    More to It

    Nonetheless, although it would be easy to say that this is only something that these sources do, it is something that is part of human nature. It is normal for the mind to focus on what is going wrong and to ignore what is going right.

    In a way, it is as if the mind is designed to look for problems. Yet, even if it is designed this way, it doesn’t mean that it can’t be trained to be less one sided and thereby, more balanced.

    Back to the Main Point

    So if the world needs more love, it can seem as though the best approach would be for someone to do what they can to give more love to the world. A big part of this is going to be for them to what they can do make sure they don’t do anything that is motivated by hate.

    When it comes to giving more love to the world, there can be the small things and the big things that they can do. If one believed that it is was purely about big gestures, they could wonder if they had anything to offer.

    One Step at a Time

    The key will be for them to focus on the small things that they can do to add more love to the world. This could involve holding doors open for people, saying hello and smiling, and saying thank you after someone has assisted them.

    And if another person talks to them about something, they could take the time to listen to them and to be present. What each of these things can do is to allow another person to feel seen and even heard.

    Pushing the Boat out

    Another option would be for them to train to become a nurse or a charity worker, for instance, with this being a way for them to serve their fellow human beings. Giving money to a charity or investing in a business that wants to serve humanity can be another option, that’s if they have the means to do so.

    There is also going to be the things that they can do for their friends and family. Being present when they are around them and being supportive is going to benefit them, and this can give these people the need to spread the good vibes to others.

    Multiplied Love

    Therefore, not only will one be having a positive effect on the people who they cross paths with, their behaviour will have an effect on how these people treat others. Ultimately, it is not possible for one to know what kind of impact their behaviour will have on another person’s life.

    Still, if they do what they can be kind to another, it is far more likely to have a positive effect on this person’s life than if they were to be unkind to them. This way, one will be able to walk away from an interaction knowing that they did the right thing, even if they are unsure as to what kind of impact they had on their life.

    The Missing Ingredient

    Having said this, while it is hard to deny that the world needs more love, this doesn’t mean that someone needs to solely focus on giving more love. The reason for this is that unless one loves themselves, it is going to be a challenge to behave in a loving manner.

    Now, this is not to say that they won’t be able to play the role of being a loving person; what it means is that this will be nothing more than an act. Behaving in this way will be something that takes a lot of effort as opposed to something that happens naturally.

    The Other Way

    If, on the other hand, one did what they needed to do to connect to their own heart and to feel comfortable in their own skin, there would be no reason for them to behave in a hateful manner or to cause harm to others. They would be connected to the love that is within them and this would allow them to behave in a loving manner.

    Behaving in this way won’t take much effort, either, as it will be no different to how they treat themselves. Also, if they didn’t feel comfortable in their own skin, they could treat themselves like dirt even though they treat other people well.

    An Essential Part

    It is relatively easy for one to create a false-self that allows them to come across as a loving person; whereas doing the inner work to that will enable one to experience self-love and thus, to behave in this way naturally, can take a fair amount of time and effort. And if someone doesn’t love themselves and doesn’t play a role, it can be normal for them to behave in a hateful manner.

    Due to how much pain they are in, they will need to harm others in order to feel better about themselves. The toxicity that is within them is then going to be spread wherever they go, and this will cause them to do a lot of damage.

    Final Thoughts

    If someone wants to contribute more love to the world, becoming more loving to themselves will be a great way to do it. As the love within them builds, they will have more of it to give to the people that they come into contact with.

    For this to take place, one may need to reach out for the support of a therapist or a healer. Someone like this will allow them to work through the layers of pain that are preventing them from being able to feel comfortable in their own skin.

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    Source by Oliver JR Cooper

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  • Affiliate Marketing: Tips On How To Spot A Scam

    Many of us want new jobs with new opportunities. We are either bored with what we are doing at the moment and desire new challenges, or dislike the place we are currently working and desperately want a change. Many of us would love to run our own businesses. The freedom and independence that this brings, answering only to you and working when you want is an incredibly desirable thing. However, the reality of this materializing is slim to none in most people’s cases. Most of us don’t have the capital required to start a small business. Others are frightened off by the risk factor involved. Your steady income will be gone as well as the fact that nearly 90 % of all new businesses fail within the first year.

    Affiliate marketing is a way around the risk and start up costs. Affiliate marketing costs nothing to join and the risk is minimal. You paid according to what you produce and not according to how the company is performing. There are many wonderful affiliate programs for you to get involved with, however as with anything one needs to be cautious.

    Unfortunately, today we live in an age of internet and business fraud. Countless people loose large sums of money on these home business scams. Unfortunately, the world of affiliate marketing is not immune to this. While it is impossible to list every precaution a person should take, there are some signs that people can look for. These don’t always mean that the company is fraudulent but they should be looked into carefully.

    Many lull themselves into a false sense of security when it comes to affiliate marketing programs. They feel that, there is no cost to them money wise so they have nothing to loose. However, this isn’t true. You may get away with no money being lost but you could lose loads of your next most precious commodity, that being time. You’re going to have to work very hard to build up your affiliate marketing business so you will want to be legitimate.

    You should definitely ask the company for testimonials. Don’t rely on the ones that they post on their website. Anyone could have written these. Ask for names and addresses of people that you can contact to find out how the program worked for them. You can also try searching on your favorite search engine. By looking under scams or the company name, you’ll have a good chance of digging up any dirt that is there.

    Read the testimonials carefully. If you find a few bad reviews, this shouldn’t put you off. Sometimes people just are not cut out for certain programs. If there is more good than bad then things are likely okay. You can also use these testimonials for advice on what to do and what not to do.

    If you have problems finding information then this should be a warning. Good affiliate programs will have been around for a while and will have a track record. Resist the temptation to join up while the offer is still hot. If it is a good program it will still be there in 6 months time. If the product or service is worth having, there will still be plenty of profit to make out of it.

    The lure of running our own businesses attracts many. However, the reality of what is involved stops most of us before we get started. Affiliate marketing is a way to work for you without the financial risk. There are many great affiliate marketing programs in existence today. However, there are also many companies that are fraudulent. When deciding who to go with, check for testimonials. Use the internet to dig up the dirt. Check the company’s track record. No track record at all can be as bad as a negative record. Beware of new companies. If they are worth it they will still be there in a few months time.

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  • 50 Ways To Confuse Your Roommate

    1. Smoke jimson weed. Do whatever comes naturally.
    2. Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class.
    3. Twitch a lot.
    4. Pretend to talk while pretending to be asleep.
    5. Steal a fishtank. Fill it with beer and dump sardines in it. Talk to them.
    6. Become a subgenius.
    7. Inject his/her Twinkles with a mixture of Dexatrim and MSG.
    8. Learn to levitate. While your roommate is looking away, float up out of your seat. When s/he turns to look, fall back down and grin.
    9. Speak in tongues.
    10. Move your roommate’s personal effects around. Start subtlety. Gradually work up to big things, and eventually glue everything s/he owns to the ceiling.
    11. Walk and talk backwards.
    12. Spend all your money on Jolt Cola. Drink it all. Stack the cans in the middle of your room. Number them.
    13. Spend all your money on Transformers. Play with them at night. If your roommate says anything, tell him/her with a straight face, “They’re more than meets the eye.”
    14. Recite entire movie scripts (e.g. The Road Warrior, Repo Man, Casablanca) almost inaudibly.
    15. Kill roaches with a monkey wrench while playing Wagnerian arias on a kazoo. If your roommate complains, explain that it is for your performance art class (or hit him/her with said wrench).
    16. Collect all your urine in a small jug.
    17. Chain yourself to your roommate’s bed. Get him/her to bring you food.
    18. Get a computer. Leave it on when you are not using it. Turn it off when you are.
    19. Ask your roommate if your family can move in “just for a couple of weeks.”
    20. Buy as many back issues of Field & Stream as you can. Pretend to masturbate while reading them.
    21. Fake a heart attack. When your roommate gets the paramedics to come, pretend nothing happened.
    22. Eat glass.
    23. Smoke ballpoint pens.
    24. Smile. All the time.
    25. Collect dog feces in baby food jars. Sort them according to what you think the dog ate.
    26. Burn all your waste paper while eyeing your roommate suspiciously.
    27. Hide a bunch of potato chips and Ho-Hos in the bottom of a trash can. When you get hungry, root around in the trash. Find the food and eat it. If your roommate empties the trash before you get hungry, demand that s/he reimburse you.
    28. Leave a declaration of war on your roommate’s desk. Include a list of grievances.
    29. Paste boogers on the windows in occult patterns.
    30. Shoot rubber bands at your roommate while his/her back is turned, and then look away quickly.
    31. Dye all your underwear lime green.
    32. Spill a lot of beer on his/her bed. Swim.
    33. Buy three loaves of stale bread. Grow mold in the closet.
    34. Hide your underwear and socks in your roommate’s closet. Accuse him/her of stealing it.
    35. Remove your door. Ship it to your roommate’s parents (postage due).
    36. Pray to Azazoth or Zoraster. Sacrifice something nasty.
    37. Whenever your roommate walks in, wait one minute and then stand up. Announce that you are going to shower. Do so. Keep this up for three weeks.
    38. Array thirteen toothbrushes of different colors on your dresser. Refuse to discuss them.
    39. Paint your half of the room black. Or paisley.
    40. Whenever s/he is about to fall asleep, ask questions that start with “Didja ever wonder why….” Be creative.
    41. Shave one eyebrow.
    42. Put your mattress underneath your bed. Sleep down under there and pile your dirty clothes on the empty bedframe. If your roommate comments, mutter “Gotta save space,” twenty times while twitching violently.
    43. Put horseradish in your shoes.
    44. Shelve all your books with the spines facing the wall. Complain loudly that you can never find the book that you want.
    45. Always flush the toilet three times.
    46. Subsist entirely on pickles for a week. Vomit often.
    47. Buy a copy of Frankie Yankovic’s “Pennsylvania Polka” and play it at least six hours a day. If your roommate complains, explain that it’s an assignment for your primitive cultures class.
    48. Give him/her an allowance.
    49. Listen to radio static.
    50. Open your window shades before you go to sleep each night. Close them as soon as you wake up.

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  • How Dirty Bunks At Summer Camp Can Teach You How To Heal

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    When I was a child and a young adult, I spent twenty summers at Camp Ramah, a network of Hebrew-speaking summer camps located throughout North and South America, Israel, Russia and even Eastern Europe. I was a camper, counselor, teacher, division head, Camp Rabbi and assistant camp director at Ramah in the Poconos and Ramah Massachusetts. Aside from having a wonderful time learning all about what it meant to be a “good Jewish boy,” I now realize that it was at Camp Ramah that I learned a valuable life-lesson which would teach me-and you– how to heal from the pain of loss.

    Surprisingly enough, I learned that lesson from our dirty bunks!

    Every single day, our bunk needed to be cleaned, except for Shabbat, our Sabbath. Chores were divvied up, sometimes using a daily “job Wheel of Fortune,” sometime a weekly cleaning assignment, and sometimes the counselor simply told us what to do. No one liked to clean the bunk, but from bunk clean-up, I learned my first, and perhaps most important healing lesson: mourners need to clean out the losses from their lives, to make room for the life of joy and celebration that is waiting to enter. It wasn’t about the clean-up at all, it was about having something to do each day that would help us reach our goal. We were never allowed not to have a job, that was not an option. Each day we had to actually do something, we couldn’t just sit on our beds and read comic books, and we couldn’t just lie in bed all day!

    Now I am a man, and I do not see dirt, whether it was in my bunk at camp or in my home now. But somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I knew then, and know now, that there was indeed dirt which we needed to clean up and remove. Though I mostly didn’t want to clean, I knew it was necessary.

    You could say that when loss enters our lives, our life-bunks become covered with dirt. The dirt won’t go away by itself, it needs to be swept out. That’s why routine tasks are crucial-they help us get out of bed every morning and tend to the chore of cleaning our bunks. Or our lives..

    If you’re like me, you would sometimes rather not do anything to heal, perhaps just wait until “the right time comes along.” It’s too hard, or it hurts too much, or I don’t like making changes so I’ll just stay the way I am right now-as if you could…

    I know people, and so do you, who are still grieving a loss from ten, twenty or even thirty years ago. I know some one whose husband died ten years ago, and to this day has still not emptied out his clothes closet. When I asked her why not, her answer was: I like to feel that he’s still here with me. Okay, I get that, but for her, he is still alive while she is drowning in sadness, and that is not how life is supposed to be. If she cannot clear out his clothes, then she cannot ever begin to heal, because for her, he hasn’t truly died, and she has not yet said goodbye to him. It’s easier, she thinks, to do nothing. Except we know the truth. Doing nothing is worse than just doing nothing. Doing nothing only makes it harder and harder to begin to sweep out that dirt and let the beauty of life enter into our lives.

    So at camp, the dirt needs to be cleaned up and swept out, or else the bunk will get even dirtier. The lesson is clear. When loss comes, we need to similarly begin to clean up, do what needs to be done, and let the healing begin.

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    Source by Dr. Mel Glazer

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  • My Wife Treats Me Like Dirt – The Truth About the Husband You Must Be to Get Respect From a Wife!

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    If you’re saying my wife treats me like dirt, then you’re probably thinking that it’s going to be nearly impossible to get her to worship you.

    However it is possible, though it may take a little bit of work.

    But most important is that you know what makes a wife worship her husband in the first place.

    How to Be Able to Stop Saying My Wife Treats Me Like Dirt…

    Okay, so most husbands who get into this situation get it totally wrong. They actually become exactly the opposite of who they have to be for their wives to respect them.

    It’s probably the most common mistake that husbands make.

    There’s a few reasons why this happens, and to understand HOW to stop it from happening…to understand how to make your wife stop treating you like dirt, you have to understand WHY it’s happening.

    First…You’ve Lost Site of the Relationship FACT The fact is that your marriage is simply just another relationship. All relationships have certain dynamics that are inherent. We sometimes try to get past this, because we try to romanticize our marriages.

    That only works in the beginning, in the honeymoon stages.

    The fact is that in EVERY relationship there is always a dominant party, who has the upperhand. When I say dominant, I don’t mean that you have to be dominant in a harsh way. Of course you MUST NEVER be physically abusive in anyway. In a marriage, there are ways (traits that YOU must maintain) that keeps you having the upperhand.

    You having the upperhand actually means a much happier marriage in the long run. That’s because you become the husband that your wife truly wants.

    Second…Your Wife Doesn’t Know What She Wants in a Husband This one is a bit tricky. You see, your wife instinctively, down to her DNA wants you to be a certain type of husband. However society has made her think that she wants another type of man.

    Basically she really instinctively to her core – as far back as her cave woman ancestors -wants you to be an ALPHA MALE. A true leader. However society has made her consciously think she wants you to be a submissive sissy of a husband. But we know through addictions and habits that instinct and biological forces always prevail.

    Third…You’ve Become the Wuss to Make Life Easier So here’s the deal. You’ve lost your alpha male status (if you ever had it, most men don’t) simply because it was easier. It’s easier not to have to pass all of the tests that your wife will throw your way to make sure you are the alpha male that she wants down deep inside.

    And so you don’t have to argue and here nagging, you submit, and become a sissy of a man to put it bluntly. More scientifically you become a beta male. Or in the pick up artists community (and these guys understand human dynamics probably better than nearly anyone) you become an Average Frustrated Chump.

    I understand this completely because frankly, I did the same thing. And the reason is because it’s tons and tons easier.

    Fourth…You React in the Wrong Manner to Her Drama This may be the toughest part but when you react to your wife treating you like dirt, you’re likely doing it in the exact opposite way that you should. Most of the time the way a husband reacts to this only makes the problem worse, and actually confirms in your wife’s mind what she already knows…that you’ve got beta qualities, rather than Alpha.

    Sadly, this is usually the head factor in you having to say my wife treats me like dirt.

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    Source by Jason T. Nelson

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  • Misophobia – Causes, Symptoms and Cure

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    Misophobia in plain words is fear of contamination. The person believes that he is in danger of coming into contact with contaminants and being infected by dust and dirt. He takes a shower several times a day, washes his hands and wears gloves to protect them. He can use as many as ten towels a day as he does not use the same towel twice. The person has an unrealistic fear of being in danger and even the simple act of eating an apple requires that he wash the apple several times before eating it. If the person cannot satisfy his need to do this he might have a panic attack.

    Symptoms of Misophobia

    • The person has an unnatural fear of dirt and is constantly cleaning and wiping the kitchen counters and dusting the furniture.

    • He becomes anxious and believes he is going to die and has a hyper-ventilation attack where he is gasping for breath, feels nauseous, is unable to speak coherently, sweats profusely and has a racing heart. He then worries about his pounding heart and makes the condition worse.

    • He has been told several times that there is no danger but because he has suffered from the condition for so long he mistakenly believes that he can never be cured and lives his life worrying about every little thing. Like the fear of heights or any other kind of irrational fear when the person is suffering an attack he or she is impossible to speak to when the panic starts. Even thinking about ridding himself of the problem can trigger anxiety.

    Hypnotherapy treatment

    In a nutshell the sufferer has a template of anxiety which has to be changed. There is a fear of loss of control which could have started in the past and this has to be addressed. Therapy in this regard is most helpful as the therapist can walk the sufferer through his fears when he is calm and the person sees that he has nothing to fear. His reality is recreated and his fear is minimized. If he sticks with the program he can change irrational fear which has plagued him all his life with healthy thoughts. It is like reprogramming a computer; you delete the past and write a new chapter for yourself. The brain, like the motherboard, follows the new instructions and the person eventually believes that his fear of germs and bacteria can be brought under control. He is able to relax and separate normal fear from deep panic and anxiety and take control of his life.

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    Source by Manu M

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  • A Healthy Dose of Medicine for the Soul

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    A large segment of the human population takes things way too seriously for their own good. The strange anomaly is that most people laugh at the wrong thing and fail to laugh at the right thing. This serious incongruity has robbed people of a healthy attitude towards life in general.

    Those who take life too seriously are in danger of missing the great joys of living in a crazy world like ours. I am not sure about the scientific research but I would guess that for every sad moment it takes one hundred laughs to balance the books. Some people are about ninety-nine laughs short of a real sane moment.

    I like the old English proverb that says, “Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone.”

    From my perspective, if you cannot laugh with someone you will not be able to cry with him or her and have it mean anything.

    According to some medical advice, it takes more facial muscles and energy to frown than it does to smile. Of course, the only exercise some people have is frowning and who am I to take that away from them.

    I am determined, no matter what, to exercise my right to smile and laugh and enjoy the world around me. I must confess that I get this attitude quite honestly.

    My paternal grandfather was a Past Master in the area of practical jokes. No amount of time was too much to spend preparing for one of his famous practical jokes. His favorite holiday was April 1 and began preparing for this holiday right after Christmas.

    The fact that his practical jokes at times got him into trouble did not seem to affect him at all.

    Once while in the hospital for an extended period he had somebody smuggle in to him a can of snuff. For some reason he liked chewing snuff. It is the most disgusting habit I know of on earth.

    He no sooner received his smuggled goods then he began chewing it. If you know anything about chewing snuff, you know it is accompanied by a lot of spitting. As usual, his timing was impeccable. Just as the head nurse passed his door and looked in, he leaned over and spit in to the garbage can he had next to his bed. The nurse, not knowing about the chewing snuff, thought he was spitting blood and immediately went into emergency mode. Immediately my grandfather was rushed into the operating room and the surgeon and medical team were assembled.

    My grandfather was very sick at the time. Some did not think he would get out of the hospital.

    Just as they got him situated in the operating room he pulled from under his sheet his can of chewing snuff and smiled at them. The only person in the room that thought this was in any way amusing was my grandfather. The doctors were so angry with him that they refused to see him for three days and confiscated his can of chewing snuff.

    My aunt and uncle lived right next to my grandfather. My aunt was hyper clean when it came to her house. Dirt in any form was not welcome under her roof. She had a broom that was always within reach because she never knew when a piece of dirt would try to invade her domicile.

    That year my grandfather found something new. I am not sure where he found it but he probably spent a lot of time looking for something like this. It was a rubber facsimile of a very nasty looking piece of vomit. To him it was a prized possession.

    Most of his practical jokes were executed on April 1. Whenever we saw grandfather coming on this particular day we usually ran for cover.

    He went over to visit my aunt and was sitting on the couch in the living room. They chatted for a little while and then my grandfather began to cough a little bit. He said to my aunt, “I haven’t been feeling good lately. I really don’t know what it is.” Then he started to cough a little more seriously, to which, my aunt got up and went to the kitchen to get him a glass of water thinking that might help him.

    When she got back, she was shocked to see on her new coffee table a very horrible sight. My grandfather was bent over the coffee table hacking and coughing as though he was in the process of dying. On the coffee table was a very nasty looking piece of vomit.

    My aunt went into hysterics. She whirled around and within a moment had grabbed her broom and started towards my grandfather. My grandfather was laughing but not for long.

    Suddenly he realized that the flailing broom in my aunt’s hand was aimed at him. She chased him out of the house, down the driveway and for at least three blocks yelling obscenities at him that I dare not repeat in public society.

    Laughter is the fresh air of the soul. Even the Bible thinks so.

    “A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken” (Proverbs 15:13). And, my favorite, “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones” (Proverbs 17:22).

    I recommend a healthy dose of medicine for your soul.

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    Source by James Snyder

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