Tag: Determination

  • The Success Avoidance Syndrom

    [ad_1]

    Life is full of ironies and paradoxes. One of the most amazing of these is the human tendency to cry for and cling to those things that hurt them. As one notable poet put it, “people run for their chains.” Is it not amazing that people generally dislike prisons, and yet it is a known fact that many former prisoners would rather be in prison than out of it? How many people out there are clinging to and crying for relationships, and yet they fully know that those same relationships are dysfunctional and leading nowhere?

    How many companies, individuals and nations are tenaciously holding onto solutions that have passed their sale by date? How many people desire to lose weight and to be in good health, and yet daily crave for and indulge in those behaviors that negate this aim? My proposition is that there are many. Perhaps the most debilitating human condition is the success avoidance syndrome. Put simply, people have this tendency to want and wish for success, and yet simultaneously unwittingly avoid the things that make for success. They desire success but hasten their feet towards failure. Below is a synopsis of the traits of the success avoiding individual.

    o Risk Avoidance.

    Many people want to succeed in life but they are averse to risk. However, the very nature of success is that the greater the risk involved the greater the rewards. Every opportunity carries within it a certain amount of risk. To try is to risk failing; to propose is to risk being turned down; to love is to risk heartbreak; to advance is to risk repulsion and resistance; to lead is to risk criticism and being cartooned; to express yourself is to risk appearing a fool; to seek profits is to risk making losses; to put your views to the public (like I am doing now) is to risk being ridiculed; to trust people is to risk being disappointed; to be yourself is to risk being rejected; to be a copycat is to court frustration; to write an exam is to risk failure and disappointment; to communicate is to risk being misunderstood, to buy something is to risk dissatisfaction and dissonance; to get an insurance policy is to risk paying for a service that may never become necessary.

    It is true that risk is often uncomfortable. However, the alternative which is failure, frustration and underachievement is even worse. Not only is the alternative very discomfiting, but it is also painful. Any risk minimization strategy is therefore actually a success reduction mechanism. A faint heart never wins a fair lady, and there is no crown for the coward. It is that simple. The winners know that the greatest risk in life is to risk nothing. After all to be alive is to risk dying some day and we will all die, so what is the big deal?

    Before we leave the subject of risk it is important to underline that there is a big difference between taking risks and taking gambles. To gamble is to put oneself at the mercy of fate and chance. With gambling one has no influence over the outcome at all and a good example is lottery. However, when one takes risk one does not become a prisoner of fate but remains a participator in a process in which the success is not guaranteed, but the chances thereof can be influenced by one’s own decisions and actions. There is no self determination with gambling, but the risk taker retains some control.

    o Failure Avoidance

    The person obsessed with avoiding failure learns to do nothing. It is only that person that never does anything, that never makes mistakes. In truth there is no effort without shortcomings. However, action is a progenitor of success and it follows logically that the person who never engages in meaningful and serious action by this very act of omission avoids success. Activity, of course is not to be confused with progress, but there can never be progress without activity. Failure avoidance is success avoidance. Period.

    Failure avoidance is a learnt habit. Research indicates that families, companies and environments replete with criticism, cynicism, pessimism, threats of punishment and motivation by fear are a good breeding ground for failure avoiders. To the contrary affirmation, recognition, acknowledgement, praise, reward and encouragement constitute the diet of the success pursuers. Creativity and innovation cannot co-habit with fear of failure and punishment.

    The failure avoiders are regulated by their fear of failure, but the winners are inspired by their dreams. In most cases the failure avoiders keep fresh the memories of their past failures, catastrophes, fiascos and heartbreaks. Their minds are filled with imaginations of pain and failure and negative outcomes. They always fear and expect the worst. They think in terms of and look for limits, but the winner thinks in terms of and looks for opportunities.

    The loser is therefore always running away from limits, while the winner is running towards opportunity. The winner recognizes that limits and opportunities are one and the same thing. The difference lies in the eye of the beholder and how he chooses to interpret what he sees. The failure avoider sees the challenges as stumbling blocks to be avoided but the winner sees them as stepping stones to be embraced and utilized. In truth every challenge brings with it an opportunity to grow, but it is easy to miss this opportunity if one sees it as a burden, problem or disappointment.

    What have you been avoiding all your life and of late? What have you been hesitating to do? Is it a conversation, telephone call or important decision? Whatever it is, take time to reflect on whether your avoidance does not constitute success avoidance. To be continued, expect some more.

    [ad_2]

    Source by George Chingarande

    Views: 0

  • Jeffrey Archer’s "Old Love" Redefines Love Story

    [ad_1]

    The “Old Love” of Jeffrey Archer is a unique amorous tale between two brilliant students of English literature from Oxford. Archer makes an exploration of the theme of love from a completely unusual standpoint. The rendition is fiercely honest while he portrays a chronic sense of envy and rivalry between two sworn arch-rivals in the Oxford University: William Hatchard and Philippa Jameson. Initially, their aggressive competition unsettles their tutor Simon Jakes. In their constant intellectual debates, Philippa confronted the deep, confident voice of William with her high-heeled boldness. The mutual hatred was absolute. Their sharply perceptive and analytical mind refused to be submissive to each other. Indeed, this fierce sense of competition enabled them to outshine everyone else in the field. Given the background of 1930’s she, to him, was “that silly woman” and he “that arrogant man”. Yet strange is the way of destiny that an unusual love story should blossom between the bitterest of academic rivals!

    This rivalry assumed an unpalatable intensity when both excelled as toppers in their final degree exam. The Charles Oldham Shakespeare’s essay writing competition fed fat to this fire of passionate jealousy and became a life and death question for each to defeat the other.There were liberal exchanges of scornful remarks between the two to play each other down. However, things took a dramatic turn when William unwittingly discovered about the death of Philippa’s father (who was a Vicar) from cancer, and also, his secret dream to let his daughter study in Oxford and win the Charles Oldham award. The sight of silent sobbing of his proud and powerful adversary stirred up a sudden feelings of empathy in his guts. He got over his tentative doubts and offered to accompany her to her village for the burial ceremony. They held hand for the first time and discovered the new bond of friendship as they started their journey to her village. They communicated with each other spontaneously while returning to Oxford which bounces Philippa back to her normal competitive spirit. She slowly discovers the growth of her new found intense attraction for William. The latter secretly enjoys this interesting conversion in the Vicar’s daughter.

    The transformation of hatred into love has always been a captivating subject in itself, and Archer makes the situation entertaining with the employment of sparkling wit in their conversation. They make a visit to Stratford and have meals together. But their first date was far from usual: it is a unique blend of warmth and intellectual antagonism! If this instinctive antagonism triggered a strong sense of hatred before, now it drew them closer. In fact, this killer instinct became a delirious source of entertainment for both. Archer makes the reader question if intense hatred could indeed be an expression of hidden attraction?

    Anyway, the situation takes a quirky turn while returning from Stratford. On their way back to Oxford, Phillipa and William had to spend the night in a car as the petrol gauge showed empty. The former obviously did not miss the chance of expressing her doubt about the cerebral power of a person who couldn’t even read a petrol gauge! The day next William gave her the reason why he let the car run out of petrol: He said with a rare sense of humor: “My father told me if I spent the night with a barmaid then I should simply order an extra pint of beer, but if I spent the night with the vicar’s daughter, I would have to marry her.” He came down on his knees and said,” Will you marry me if I win the Charles Oldham?” Philippa answered that “as there is absolutely no fear of that happening I can safely say, yes… ” When William declared his love for her she told him not to show his face in Somerville again if he failed to win Charles Oldham. The readers wonder if the writer reveals Philippa’s secret wish that she could marry himeven at the cost of losing Charles Oldham! Otherwise why would tears come to Philippa’s eyes when a girl informed her that she had won? It was a moment of crisis for her because between the conflicting emotion of ambition and love in her heart, the latter had won and for once the proud girl confessed, “I do love nothing in the world so well as you; is that not strange?”

    However, when she discovered that William was a joint winner, her puckish spirit returned as she said ” I take thee for pity” to which William replied ” I yield upon great persuasion… ” They were locked in a passionate embrace, and after that, they were never apart for more than a few hours. Strangely, their honeymoon in Athens ended up in a heated argument over the relative significance of Doric and Ionic architecture!

    Later in life, this constant battle of wit prevented their romance from dwindling into boredom and banality. Their serious research works and creative activities, though on different fields, kept them deeply connected. After three years, “with well-received D. Phils”, they moved on, in tandem, to college teaching. But their fierce encounters continued and their sharp wit at each other’s expense would flash across the dinner tables at Oxford. However, those who understood their love felt envious of their unique relationship! They were childless yet their life was not tasteless.

    Returning home after the celebration dinner (being declared the Joint Professor), their heated argument over Proust’s monumental work took such an intimidating turn, that a policeman, nearby, asked Philippa “Is everything all right madam?” “No, it is not”, William declared “this woman has been attacking me for over 30 years, and to date the police have done deplorably little to protect me”. Yet, beneath this apparent antagonism, their bond continued to grow stronger with each passing year. Interestingly, their intense love was inseparable from their zealous intellectual antagonism which lent a peculiar aura to their relationship. When Philippa was made the Dame of the British Empire, William referred to her as an “Old Dame” he had to live with now. It is this bitter-sweet flavor of their love which defines their marriage.

    The most irritable habit of Philippa to William was her determination each morning to complete “The Times” crossword before he arrived at the breakfast table. One fine morning in June, William, studying the clue, filled in the eight boxes left incomplete by Philippa. Philippa’s instantly retorted that there was no such word. To the delight of Philippa the word “Whym Wham” could not be found in the shorter Oxford Dictionary. William assured her that the word could be found in OED on his desk, made for scholars like him. William left the breakfast table with sharp comments on Philippa’s limited command of English language and that she will have to eat a humble pie at Somerville’s Gaudy Feast as she reads the collected works of John Skelton…

    William left with a sigh, kissing his wife on her cheek, wishing he had lost Charles Oldham. Philippa replied that he did indeed because it was highly inappropriate during those days to declare a woman as the sole winner! Having closed the front door, as she entered the kitchen, Dame Philippa suddenly suffered her lone heart attack. She called out to William hoarsely but in vain. The news of her death was conveyed and the story ends with a note of dark humor in the suicidal note of Sir William (who shot himself with his pistol): “Forgive me, but I had to let her know”. There was the volume of the work of John Skelton held open in one of his hand with the word “Whym Wham” underlined neatly, his fingers stiff and cold around it. Such weird ending, subtly hints at the essence of special relationship this couple shared so that they rise above the great marriage vow “TILL DEATH DO US PART.” Archer’s love story excels because death could not part Sir William and Dame Philippa! Even while following his wife to her grave, William felt the need to camouflage the inseparable bond they shared, and the insufferable loneliness he would feel without her… he does it with a wry sense of humor!

    [ad_2]

    Source by Mandira Mazumder

    Views: 0

  • Numerology’s Habit Challenge; Hidden Strength From Your Name

    [ad_1]

    All of us know what it’s like to have a crisis on our hands. When you have such a problem, where do you find the ability to deal with it? Numerology can help you find out what your basic approach is to solving the really hard problems in life. You just need to calculate your Habit Challenge.

    The Habit Challenge has several names: Submerged Characteristic and Habit number to name a few. This value reveals a hidden strength which you can use when problems are especially difficult for you. You don’t call on it often, but it’s there when you need it. Note: since this value is based on your use name, it can change throughout your lifetime.

    Habit Challenge Calculation

    Your Habit Challenge is calculated by counting the number of digits in your use name, and then reducing the total by fadic addition. For example actor Johnny Depp’s habit challenge value is (1) as shown below:

    Johnny Depp = (6 + 4) = (10) = (1 + 0) = (1)

    Habit Challenge (1) – Originality

    Your value gives you the ability to find an original solution to difficult problems, often to the surprise of others. Choosing to take the lead in these problems brings quick results.

    Habit Challenge (2) – Follower

    Your value gives you the ability to be a good follower; to let others lead and to obey orders when necessary. Collaboration is usually successful and some skill in diplomacy is present.

    Habit Challenge (3) – Imagination

    Your value gives you the ability to use your imagination and creativity to solve unusually difficult problems; you will find an artistic solution. You don’t always take these kinds of problems seriously.

    Habit Challenge (4) – Logic

    Your value gives you the ability to use logic and set reasonable goals to solve unusually difficult problems. Detailed, unemotional analysis will be your tools. You prefer a practical and orthodox solution to these problems. You will remain emotionally calm and cool in these situations.

    Habit Challenge (5) – Adaptive

    Your value gives you the ability to be adaptable, take risks, and accept changes to solve unusually difficult problems. New, untried solutions can work for you. You will show quickness of thought and versatility in these situations.

    Habit Challenge (6) – Responsible

    Your value gives you the ability to be responsible and sympathetic to the needs of others in solving unusually difficult problems. The effects on friends and family will be considered in reaching your solution.

    Habit Challenge (7) – Meditation

    Your value gives you the ability to meditate and seek within yourself to solve unusually difficult problems. You will tend to reject unsought advice and work to find your own solutions. You will wait to act until conditions are perfect to solve these problems.

    Habit Challenge (8) – Ruthless

    Your value gives you the ability to be efficient and ruthless in solving unusually difficult problems. You will set goals and work long and hard on them in these situations. Determination and persistence will be used in solving these problems.

    Habit Challenge (9) – Broad Minded

    Your value gives you the ability to take a broad-minded and idealistic approach to solve unusually difficult problems. You will be generous towards others in these situations. You will have unexpected and dramatic reactions to any opposition in solving these problems.

    [ad_2]

    Source by Keith Abbott

    Views: 0

  • How to Choose the Best Sales Training Coach

    How to Choose the Best Sales Training Coach

    [ad_1]

    There is no formal education curriculum for sales, but the ironic thing is that everybody sells. There are a lot of people working in the sales industry and each of them is competing with one another. For you to stand out from the rest, you need to possess the selling skills, right mindset, and determination. You also need to embrace change. As you know, the sales environment is continuously evolving. You need to think outside of the box to outsmart your business competitor. This is where sales tips play an important role.

    Sales business should be conducted by people who are trained to do such stuff. It should be conducted only by the best sales training coach. If you are going to search around, you will notice that there are a lot of sales tips programs out there. However, choosing the best one can be very challenging. You need to make sure that you come up with the best choice or else you will end up wasting your time and money.

    How do you go about choosing a sales training coach?

    You have to consider the type of problem in your business you want to solve. There are many areas in the business that need improvement. Sales managers usually want to improve the team’s organizational effectiveness. This includes redefining the sales process. However, the main problem here is not the process itself but the execution. In this case, the focus of sales business is enhancing the selling skills and strategy.

    What are the qualities of a sales tips coach?

    • Practice what he preaches

    A sales tips coach should be someone who has vast experience in handling sales process. Check the career path of the training coach and make sure that he has achieved something in his career. There should be professional experiences and the coach should be able to impart his experience and expertise to other people. The professional experience makes the sales business coach highly credible and reputable.

    • Has experience leading a sales team

    A sales business coach should know how to win the trust of his audience. People will most likely put their trust to someone who has first-hand experience handling a sales team. He should have a strong leadership skill to make it easier for him to coach other people.

    • A sales tips coach should be intellectual

    Doing something that nourishes your mind is great. There should be a passion and hunger for learning. A sales business coach should engage in activities that can further improve his intellectuality. He should be willing to spend time learning about other people, especially about his audience, organizations, and business as a whole. He should be up to date with the sales training trends and be able to impart it to his students with ease and confidence.

    • A sales training coach should be humble

    Some people in the training profession tend to be egocentric. They want to be the center of attention and most of the time wants to be in control of their audience. The best coach for sales training is the one who is humble enough to facilitate a good learning experience. When conducting coaching or training, whether it is about sales or other industry, a coach should keep in mind that it is not always about him. It is all about sales people wanting to become expert in a specific industry.

    • A sales training coach should be a good communicator

    The sales training program has a lot of components and the coach should condense the information into a short period of time. To tackle everything you need to tackle, you should be a good communicator. No matter how good the message it, it will mean nothing if it is not communicated in the most effective manner.

    [ad_2]

    Source by Phil M Jones

    Views: 0

  • Four Essential Solutions To Heal From Your Profound Sorrow – Stop Grieving And Start Healing

    Four Essential Solutions To Heal From Your Profound Sorrow – Stop Grieving And Start Healing

    [ad_1]

    Grieving And Start Healing

    1- Optimism!

    "The first step towards the solution of any problem is optimism." ~ John Baines

    Begin by thinking and believing you can take one step toward hope and peace no matter how overwhelmingly complex it may appear. Keep your candle of hope lighted even though your circumstance may seem fogged with blackness.
    "It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness."
    ~ Chinese proverb often quoted by Eleanor Roosevelt

    The darkness of your cave of sorrow clouds and grief shadows can seem overpowering. Yet, unknown, unexplored possibilities can be discovered, explored and applied in your healing. Opportunities and potentialities of hope can be illuminated by your small candle light of anticipation and optimism. Even in the darkest of conditions happiness can be found. You must remember to turn on your light of hope.

    "It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light."
    – Aristotle Onassis

    Optimism can help you focus on undiscovered possibilities. Focusing on opportunities not yet considered with hopefulness and confidence is vital to stop grieving and start healing. Optimism is your first important solution to overcoming your sorrow.

    2- There are Answers

    "Be thankful that life is a mystery. There is so much we can never know. Breathe deeply and relax into the not-knowing. There is much that we do not have to know in order to live joyfully."
    ~ Jonathan Lockwood Huie

    Seeking all the answers to heal from your deep grief experience may not be in your best interest. Every answer to the "Why", "How", "When", and "Where" is not necessary to live joyfully. Concentrating on the things you can be grateful for may be a better solution. Focused on counting your blessings one by one can give you greater hope and resolve.

    "Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties."
    ~ Helen Keller

    Optimism in your thinking, resolve to overcome life's detours, determination to not let a daunting grief challenges stop you on your journey to find more happiness are all essential elements of personal empowerment. Don't let the tears from your crying about the sun being gone from your life block you from seeing the potential stars of happiness and hope.

    "Only when life is difficult, are we challenged to become our greatest selves."
    ~ Jonathan Lockwood Huie

    Let's be honest and frank, grief happenings are difficult and trying. But new possibilities discovered can help you become your greatest self. Follow your heart and don't let anything crush your dreams.

    "When It's Darkest, Men See the Stars."
    ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

    Empowerment to heal from your grief and loss requires you look beyond the darkness you see and feel. Looking for the stars of hope beyond your darkest night may require an attitude shift. Look beyond your shadowy discouragement. You can if you will.

    3- Resolve

    "Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties."
    ~ Helen Keller

    Don't let the tears from your crying about the sun being gone from your life block you from seeing the potential stars of happiness and hope.

    "Only when life is difficult, are we challenged to become our greatest selves."
    ~ Jonathan Lockwood Huie

    Let's be honest and frank, grief happenings are difficult and trying. But as you search for solutions the possibilities discovered can help you become your greatest self. Follow your heart and don't let anything crush your dreams.

    4- Pray

    After you have considered and done all you can never forget the inspiration and strength that can result from communion with God.

    "Our prayers should be for blessings in general, for God knows best what is good for us."
    ~ Socrates

    It is good to remember as you pray that God gives you what you need in His good time – but not always when and what you ask for. I have lived with and overcome grief supported each time from inspiration, strength and personal empowerment from communion with my God. You can also.

    Be Optimistic. There are answers. Seek them. Have determination and resolve. Pray. Seek the inspiration of communion with God.

    [ad_2]

    Source by Duane Marchant

    Views: 0