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  • How to Deal With the Dilemmas of Gay Dating

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    Unhappy relationships, fights and breakups can mess up your mind and discourage you from dating again. But, one bad relationship doesn’t mean that you are not going to date anyone ever again. Look around, there are men out there who are just like you, and they’ve had breakups and broken hearts too. The moment you find the one who is truly in love with you, it will make you forget all those failed attempts.

    And when you do find a perfect match, many of you might have dilemmas that can break your burgeoning relationship. For this reason, you need to know what those gay dating dilemmas can be and what you can do to avoid them.

    ‘Let go’ of the past

    Every gay man has stories about ‘coming out’, childhood, parents, fear and broken hearts. But don’t let things that happened in the past affect your present or future. It was a thing of the past, so use it as knowledge & wisdom. Give a fresh and healthy start to your new relationship.

    Expensive dates when you are in different income brackets

    The difference in income can become a major cause of breakups. You have a higher income and want to plan expensive dates, and you’re ready to make all the payments. But this can sometimes offend the other person and you don’t even realize. So, you need to keep the other person’s feelings in mind and plan accordingly.

    Be a fearless gay dating guy

    First of all, you need to be yourself, one who is not afraid of dating. Even if you try to show that you are a fearless gay dating guy, if he feels that you are afraid, it means you probably really are. So, get things clear in your mind before you start dating as breaking someone’s heart isn’t good for either of you.

    Express your feelings

    Don’t hide your feelings from the person you love. Express your feelings but if you think you still need to wait for the right time, then do! Sometimes though, there is no right time to express your love, every moment is right, so just open up and don’t leave it too late. Today, a number of online sites offer gay dating tips, so take their help.

    Stop comparing

    You are special, unique, and nobody can compete with you. Stop comparing yourself with your boyfriend’s ex or anyone else as it will lead you nowhere and will just ruin your relationship.

    Communication is key

    Yes, when dating someone, you need to have adequate communication with each other. Whether you prefer to communicate via text, or calls, or in person, make sure that you have healthy conversations with each other. Also, if your mate prefers to talk over a call while you want to communicate via texts, there’s no harm picking up his call, rather than creating unwanted turmoil in a relationship.

    Be honest & open up in a genuine way

    Don’t just presume you’ll be able to be intimate with a new person on your very first date. Take your time, understand each other and then discuss if you can move further in your relationship. Only if the other person is comfortable, go ahead and make love.

    Today’s technologically advanced world helps you find a perfect match sitting at home. A number of online gay dating sites will help you search for a compatible match the easy way. Moreover, these sites sometimes also provide gay dating tips so that you can have a healthy and happy relationship.

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    Source by Sarah Scott

    Views: 0

  • The Success Avoidance Syndrom

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    Life is full of ironies and paradoxes. One of the most amazing of these is the human tendency to cry for and cling to those things that hurt them. As one notable poet put it, “people run for their chains.” Is it not amazing that people generally dislike prisons, and yet it is a known fact that many former prisoners would rather be in prison than out of it? How many people out there are clinging to and crying for relationships, and yet they fully know that those same relationships are dysfunctional and leading nowhere?

    How many companies, individuals and nations are tenaciously holding onto solutions that have passed their sale by date? How many people desire to lose weight and to be in good health, and yet daily crave for and indulge in those behaviors that negate this aim? My proposition is that there are many. Perhaps the most debilitating human condition is the success avoidance syndrome. Put simply, people have this tendency to want and wish for success, and yet simultaneously unwittingly avoid the things that make for success. They desire success but hasten their feet towards failure. Below is a synopsis of the traits of the success avoiding individual.

    o Risk Avoidance.

    Many people want to succeed in life but they are averse to risk. However, the very nature of success is that the greater the risk involved the greater the rewards. Every opportunity carries within it a certain amount of risk. To try is to risk failing; to propose is to risk being turned down; to love is to risk heartbreak; to advance is to risk repulsion and resistance; to lead is to risk criticism and being cartooned; to express yourself is to risk appearing a fool; to seek profits is to risk making losses; to put your views to the public (like I am doing now) is to risk being ridiculed; to trust people is to risk being disappointed; to be yourself is to risk being rejected; to be a copycat is to court frustration; to write an exam is to risk failure and disappointment; to communicate is to risk being misunderstood, to buy something is to risk dissatisfaction and dissonance; to get an insurance policy is to risk paying for a service that may never become necessary.

    It is true that risk is often uncomfortable. However, the alternative which is failure, frustration and underachievement is even worse. Not only is the alternative very discomfiting, but it is also painful. Any risk minimization strategy is therefore actually a success reduction mechanism. A faint heart never wins a fair lady, and there is no crown for the coward. It is that simple. The winners know that the greatest risk in life is to risk nothing. After all to be alive is to risk dying some day and we will all die, so what is the big deal?

    Before we leave the subject of risk it is important to underline that there is a big difference between taking risks and taking gambles. To gamble is to put oneself at the mercy of fate and chance. With gambling one has no influence over the outcome at all and a good example is lottery. However, when one takes risk one does not become a prisoner of fate but remains a participator in a process in which the success is not guaranteed, but the chances thereof can be influenced by one’s own decisions and actions. There is no self determination with gambling, but the risk taker retains some control.

    o Failure Avoidance

    The person obsessed with avoiding failure learns to do nothing. It is only that person that never does anything, that never makes mistakes. In truth there is no effort without shortcomings. However, action is a progenitor of success and it follows logically that the person who never engages in meaningful and serious action by this very act of omission avoids success. Activity, of course is not to be confused with progress, but there can never be progress without activity. Failure avoidance is success avoidance. Period.

    Failure avoidance is a learnt habit. Research indicates that families, companies and environments replete with criticism, cynicism, pessimism, threats of punishment and motivation by fear are a good breeding ground for failure avoiders. To the contrary affirmation, recognition, acknowledgement, praise, reward and encouragement constitute the diet of the success pursuers. Creativity and innovation cannot co-habit with fear of failure and punishment.

    The failure avoiders are regulated by their fear of failure, but the winners are inspired by their dreams. In most cases the failure avoiders keep fresh the memories of their past failures, catastrophes, fiascos and heartbreaks. Their minds are filled with imaginations of pain and failure and negative outcomes. They always fear and expect the worst. They think in terms of and look for limits, but the winner thinks in terms of and looks for opportunities.

    The loser is therefore always running away from limits, while the winner is running towards opportunity. The winner recognizes that limits and opportunities are one and the same thing. The difference lies in the eye of the beholder and how he chooses to interpret what he sees. The failure avoider sees the challenges as stumbling blocks to be avoided but the winner sees them as stepping stones to be embraced and utilized. In truth every challenge brings with it an opportunity to grow, but it is easy to miss this opportunity if one sees it as a burden, problem or disappointment.

    What have you been avoiding all your life and of late? What have you been hesitating to do? Is it a conversation, telephone call or important decision? Whatever it is, take time to reflect on whether your avoidance does not constitute success avoidance. To be continued, expect some more.

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    Source by George Chingarande

    Views: 0

  • Jeffrey Archer’s "Old Love" Redefines Love Story

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    The “Old Love” of Jeffrey Archer is a unique amorous tale between two brilliant students of English literature from Oxford. Archer makes an exploration of the theme of love from a completely unusual standpoint. The rendition is fiercely honest while he portrays a chronic sense of envy and rivalry between two sworn arch-rivals in the Oxford University: William Hatchard and Philippa Jameson. Initially, their aggressive competition unsettles their tutor Simon Jakes. In their constant intellectual debates, Philippa confronted the deep, confident voice of William with her high-heeled boldness. The mutual hatred was absolute. Their sharply perceptive and analytical mind refused to be submissive to each other. Indeed, this fierce sense of competition enabled them to outshine everyone else in the field. Given the background of 1930’s she, to him, was “that silly woman” and he “that arrogant man”. Yet strange is the way of destiny that an unusual love story should blossom between the bitterest of academic rivals!

    This rivalry assumed an unpalatable intensity when both excelled as toppers in their final degree exam. The Charles Oldham Shakespeare’s essay writing competition fed fat to this fire of passionate jealousy and became a life and death question for each to defeat the other.There were liberal exchanges of scornful remarks between the two to play each other down. However, things took a dramatic turn when William unwittingly discovered about the death of Philippa’s father (who was a Vicar) from cancer, and also, his secret dream to let his daughter study in Oxford and win the Charles Oldham award. The sight of silent sobbing of his proud and powerful adversary stirred up a sudden feelings of empathy in his guts. He got over his tentative doubts and offered to accompany her to her village for the burial ceremony. They held hand for the first time and discovered the new bond of friendship as they started their journey to her village. They communicated with each other spontaneously while returning to Oxford which bounces Philippa back to her normal competitive spirit. She slowly discovers the growth of her new found intense attraction for William. The latter secretly enjoys this interesting conversion in the Vicar’s daughter.

    The transformation of hatred into love has always been a captivating subject in itself, and Archer makes the situation entertaining with the employment of sparkling wit in their conversation. They make a visit to Stratford and have meals together. But their first date was far from usual: it is a unique blend of warmth and intellectual antagonism! If this instinctive antagonism triggered a strong sense of hatred before, now it drew them closer. In fact, this killer instinct became a delirious source of entertainment for both. Archer makes the reader question if intense hatred could indeed be an expression of hidden attraction?

    Anyway, the situation takes a quirky turn while returning from Stratford. On their way back to Oxford, Phillipa and William had to spend the night in a car as the petrol gauge showed empty. The former obviously did not miss the chance of expressing her doubt about the cerebral power of a person who couldn’t even read a petrol gauge! The day next William gave her the reason why he let the car run out of petrol: He said with a rare sense of humor: “My father told me if I spent the night with a barmaid then I should simply order an extra pint of beer, but if I spent the night with the vicar’s daughter, I would have to marry her.” He came down on his knees and said,” Will you marry me if I win the Charles Oldham?” Philippa answered that “as there is absolutely no fear of that happening I can safely say, yes… ” When William declared his love for her she told him not to show his face in Somerville again if he failed to win Charles Oldham. The readers wonder if the writer reveals Philippa’s secret wish that she could marry himeven at the cost of losing Charles Oldham! Otherwise why would tears come to Philippa’s eyes when a girl informed her that she had won? It was a moment of crisis for her because between the conflicting emotion of ambition and love in her heart, the latter had won and for once the proud girl confessed, “I do love nothing in the world so well as you; is that not strange?”

    However, when she discovered that William was a joint winner, her puckish spirit returned as she said ” I take thee for pity” to which William replied ” I yield upon great persuasion… ” They were locked in a passionate embrace, and after that, they were never apart for more than a few hours. Strangely, their honeymoon in Athens ended up in a heated argument over the relative significance of Doric and Ionic architecture!

    Later in life, this constant battle of wit prevented their romance from dwindling into boredom and banality. Their serious research works and creative activities, though on different fields, kept them deeply connected. After three years, “with well-received D. Phils”, they moved on, in tandem, to college teaching. But their fierce encounters continued and their sharp wit at each other’s expense would flash across the dinner tables at Oxford. However, those who understood their love felt envious of their unique relationship! They were childless yet their life was not tasteless.

    Returning home after the celebration dinner (being declared the Joint Professor), their heated argument over Proust’s monumental work took such an intimidating turn, that a policeman, nearby, asked Philippa “Is everything all right madam?” “No, it is not”, William declared “this woman has been attacking me for over 30 years, and to date the police have done deplorably little to protect me”. Yet, beneath this apparent antagonism, their bond continued to grow stronger with each passing year. Interestingly, their intense love was inseparable from their zealous intellectual antagonism which lent a peculiar aura to their relationship. When Philippa was made the Dame of the British Empire, William referred to her as an “Old Dame” he had to live with now. It is this bitter-sweet flavor of their love which defines their marriage.

    The most irritable habit of Philippa to William was her determination each morning to complete “The Times” crossword before he arrived at the breakfast table. One fine morning in June, William, studying the clue, filled in the eight boxes left incomplete by Philippa. Philippa’s instantly retorted that there was no such word. To the delight of Philippa the word “Whym Wham” could not be found in the shorter Oxford Dictionary. William assured her that the word could be found in OED on his desk, made for scholars like him. William left the breakfast table with sharp comments on Philippa’s limited command of English language and that she will have to eat a humble pie at Somerville’s Gaudy Feast as she reads the collected works of John Skelton…

    William left with a sigh, kissing his wife on her cheek, wishing he had lost Charles Oldham. Philippa replied that he did indeed because it was highly inappropriate during those days to declare a woman as the sole winner! Having closed the front door, as she entered the kitchen, Dame Philippa suddenly suffered her lone heart attack. She called out to William hoarsely but in vain. The news of her death was conveyed and the story ends with a note of dark humor in the suicidal note of Sir William (who shot himself with his pistol): “Forgive me, but I had to let her know”. There was the volume of the work of John Skelton held open in one of his hand with the word “Whym Wham” underlined neatly, his fingers stiff and cold around it. Such weird ending, subtly hints at the essence of special relationship this couple shared so that they rise above the great marriage vow “TILL DEATH DO US PART.” Archer’s love story excels because death could not part Sir William and Dame Philippa! Even while following his wife to her grave, William felt the need to camouflage the inseparable bond they shared, and the insufferable loneliness he would feel without her… he does it with a wry sense of humor!

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    Source by Mandira Mazumder

    Views: 0

  • Timing Counts In A Relationship

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    Human beings are social animals. Most of us crave the comfort and warmth of sharing life experiences and love with others. Most of us crave the intimacy of a love relationship, with shared hopes, dreams, and adventures of life.

    We want deep and loving relationships, and they are a lot of hard work to make them happen. A friend of mine said, the dream is on the other side of the hard work.

    Having the dream is worth it. That makes the hard work worth it, too.

    Part of the hard work is being realistic about timing.

    Timing matters about dealing with things within a loving relationship.

    If your partner has had a lot of external conflict or stress in the day, it is probably not the best time to bring up talking about a new challenge you are interested in. It may be time to listen, to just be together, and to nurture, rather than a time to bring up additional conversation that may be stressful.

    Timing also matters in starting a new relationship. Being in a healthy place and relationship with yourself first gives a better chance of relationship success.

    What kinds of timing issues could there be?

    1. Work Stress. If your career is at a point where it is demanding 70 or 80 hour weeks, where you are exhausted the rest of the time and your mind is full of work challenges and solutions, it's probably not the best time to try to start a new relationship . Your date may very well feel neglected and overlooked. What can you do? Make some changes in your specify if you can. Or have a conversation, let the person know you're interested and that you need a bit of time to straighten things out. Either he or she accepts that and is willing to wait a bit, or not. You've taken responsibility, and need to accept both your situation and the response.

    2. Financial Difficulties. Tough financial times are not a good time to begin a relationship. Your partner could feel used as a money resource. You could embroil your partner in your problems rather than find common interests.

    3. Recent breakup. No matter how well you broke up, you will have some loss to deal with. It's best to heal from the baggage of your loss before you try to enter into a new relationship.

    4. Recent trauma. It could be a death in the family, an illness, the loss of a job, even being in an accident or a crime victim. The best idea is to work through your emotions over the trauma before investing in a new relationship. Things are going to come up until you deal that will interrupt and strain the exploration and fun you want to have.

    5. Long Distance. Relationships are hard enough without adding long distance. In a new relationship you want to get to know one another, spend time together, and share experiences. The honeymoon phase of a new relationship is precious. Resentments may occur that wouldn't happen without the distance challenge.

    Timing in Relationships is crucial. Stresses are going to happen. If you are in a committed relationship, seeking good timing counts, for dealing with life issues.

    Setting a time together to talk can be a good idea. For a new relationship, diving in when the timing is wrong is a set-up for failure and disappointment. The goal is love and happiness. Be mindful of timing.

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    Source by Annie Collyer

    Views: 0

  • What Is Drug Court in District of Columbia Superior Court?

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    There are drug courts throughout the Country. Generally, they are special courts designed to treat people who have an addiction cases and are in the criminal justice system. There are currently more than 2,450 Drug Courts operating throughout the United States with all 50 states having a program. District of Columbia Superior Court Drug Intervention Program (SCDIP) has been in operation for over 20 years. SCDIP is a voluntary program.

    Criminal defense attorneys who make a blanket statement "I don't have clients do drug court" are doing a disservice to their clients especially if the reason they are in criminal justice system is for addiction. Good criminal defense attorneys will explore all options including participating in this program.

    Over the course of the last year, SCDIP has gone through some major changes. SCDIP requires a minimum participation of 5 months. This article gives a brief overview of how the typical defendant enters District of Columbia Superior Court Intervention Program.

    The client comes into the criminal justice system either charged with a misdemeanor or a felony case in DC. Superior Court. It should be noted that SCDIP is only applicable to charges prosecuted by the United States Attorneys Office for the District of Columbia. The Attorney General for the District of Columbia criminal prosecution division does not participate in SCDIP; and therefore, serious traffic charges are not eligible.

    Misdemeanor cases Intake

    The defendant reports for arraignment (initial charge). Thereafter, the case is set for status. The Court at arraignment may impose an evaluation and if positive program placement. If the positive test pretrial may order an addiction severity index (ASI). ASI is an evaluation where a drug counselor expert advises what treatment is required of the defendant.

    At the status hearing, pretrial services may recommend drug court as an option. If pretrial services recommends drug court, the government will be given 2 to 3 weeks to screen whether they will allow participation in drug court. The case will be set for an additional status hearing.

    At the final status hearing, if pretrial services and us attorneys and the defendant agree the case will be certified to the drug court calendar on a Tuesday or Thursday.

    Upon successful completion of a misdemeanor case in drug court, the case will be dismissed.

    Felony cases Intake

    The defendant is presented on a felony complaint. The case is set for preliminary hearing. The court at presentment may impose an evaluation and if positive program placement. If the defendant test positive test for drugs, pretrial may order an addiction severity index (ASI). An ASI is an evaluation where a drug counselor expert advises the Court what treatment is recommended.

    If pretrial services recommends participation in drug court and the defendant ais willing, he may proceed without US attorney's recommendation. Unlike the misdemeanor the defendant may have 2 separate court dates, one before the felony judge and one before the drug court judge. In fact, the defendant can request a trial or plead guilty and still participate in drug court.

    If the United States Attorney's office approves for participation the defendant, the US Attorney's office may grant an Amended Sentencing Agreements (ASAs). If the defendant successfully completes the ASA, the government will agree to permit the defendant to amend his / her plea at the final sentencing date and plead to a lesser included misdemeanor charges instead of the felony.

    If the US attorney's office did not approve participation, upon successful completion of a felony case in drug court, the court may grant a term of probation but it is not guaranteed.

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    Source by Mark Rollins

    Views: 0

  • 3 Online Dating Profile Samples To Get You Noticed

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    Writing an online dating profile can be difficult for many people using a dating website. There are many generic dating examples online that sound the same. Many dating members are searching on how to write the perfect online dating profile. Here are 3 creative examples that I’ve concocted, which can inspire a single guy or single girl on any dating website!

    First Example:

    “Hello to everyone reading this! I’m new to the online dating scene and have heard good and bad things about it. I never assume anything before finding out all the facts on my own. I am newly single and want to move slowly back into dating. If you are someone who likes to take things slow and use their slow cooker, send me a message!

    “My adventurous side has me watching anything on storm watching and would love to try it with someone who knows what they are doing. It’s always great to learn new things and have a list of things I’d like to accomplish by the end of the year. It would be nice to meet someone who wants to learn new hobbies and interests from each other. I am a chef by profession and artist by the weekend. I am a self-taught artist who enjoys dabbling in paint, ceramics and anything unusual.

    “If you are a risk-taker and would like to know more, I would enjoy receiving a message from you. Tell me what you find risky. Have a creative week and watch out for that storm!”

    Second Example:

    “I really don’t want to bore you to tears by writing about what a great catch I am. I’m sure you’ve read many dating profiles that have told you they are perfect for you! I’ve always believed that actions speak louder than words don’t you think? It would be great to meet face to face for coffee and see where it goes from there.

    “I’m not scared to let you know that I have flaws. I’m a perfectionist and can use a whole package of good paper trying to handwrite something. With the internet world taking over, it’s nice to write an actual handwritten letter to family and friends. I know that recycling is huge so don’t worry, I do use the paper I’ve scrapped for other things! You would think because I’m a perfectionist that I have the perfect job. That, I have not perfected yet. I’m still looking for my true calling and am taking part-time classes at the University after work.

    “If you are honest and are looking to meet someone for casual dating, make sure to email me. I am looking to date but if it leads to something more, it’s always a good thing. Don’t forget to tell me something about yourself!”

    Third Example:

    “I’m a person who enjoys meeting new people all the time. I love to socialize, embrace life and am a lot of fun if I say so myself! Online dating has been quite the adventure and I am still looking for that special someone. If you are looking for someone genuine, I’m your man! I don’t have patience for people who pretend to be something they are not.

    “I’m honest, forgiving and love to laugh. If you can make me laugh, I would be interested in speaking to you. There are too many people who take life seriously and don’t make time to enjoy the finest pleasures. That would include taking in the outdoors, sitting in front of a fireplace and eating gummy worms on a regular basis for me!

    “Tell me what your idea of having fun is. I enjoy the weekends out when I am not working in the week and would love to have someone accompany me. It could be an evening of taking in the local comedy scene or local bands. Drop me an email and we’ll chat soon!”

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    Source by Yaro Babiy

    Views: 0

  • How Do You Get Approved As An Affiliate Marketer?

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    Affiliate marketing is an online business model where you promote and sell products and services that have been created by another business. Sometimes, before you can start to promote a high quality product or service you may need to get your website approved by the affiliate company.

    In some instances a company will not expect its affiliates to have a blog or website. This is generally the case with smaller companies.

    Having said that, you will have to show an affiliate network where you are going to be promoting their products and services. This means it’s a good idea to prepare your website accordingly before you submit an affiliate marketing agreement.

    What Are The Terms Of Service?

    The first thing you need to understand are the terms of service the affiliate company wants you to follow.

    In some cases, especially with large companies, the Terms of Service (TOS) are extensive and detailed and can take days to read. They are often changing frequently, and it’s your job to stay up-to-date on any new changes that are made.

    You’re Not The Only Affiliate

    There are hundreds if not thousands of people just like you applying as an affiliate every week and every month. When an affiliate manager from a company takes time to send you a response to your application, read that information carefully and respond as quickly as possible.

    This shows the company you are serious about representing their products. Also, look at the name of the affiliate manager who contacted you. When you respond, address communications to that person, by name. This adds a personal touch that a lot of affiliate marketing applicants won’t take the time to perform.

    Have A Marketing Plan

    Approval also comes quicker when you have a solid marketing plan. If you can show an affiliate company that you have a plan of action for promoting their products for now and in into the future, they will be impressed.

    You should also be prepared to invest your time and money for the promotion of an affiliate company’s products. Be honest, and tell your affiliate manager or company contact exactly how much time and money you are willing to spend to promote their products.

    Ask Questions

    Last but not least, ask a lot of questions. If possible, make a telephone contact. Ask your affiliate manager exactly what you need to do to show them that you are serious about a long-term relationship that is profitable for both parties. Use this and the rest of the tips just mentioned, and your approval to an affiliate company is virtually guaranteed.

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    Source by Jon Allo

    Views: 0

  • 5 Mistakes to Avoid When Dating Over 40

    5 Mistakes to Avoid When Dating Over 40

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    Are you over 40 and thinking about dating? Well, then know that it's never too late to start a new relation as long as you're comfortable with it. But yes, starting to date again after a long gap that also after 40 can be a challenge sometimes. So let's take a look at some of the most common mistakes that you need to stop doing yourself right now.

    Being Too Eager or Too Indifferent

    Often people who date in their forties end up either being too desperate or too indifferent to start a conversation. But being too eager to start a relationship right away can actually scare the potential mate, leading to rejection. And being indifferent, on the other hand, may denote a lack of emotion and turn the dating experience in a sour one.

    Talking About Your Ex Too Much

    Talking about your Ex or Exes too much is one of the terrible mistakes that people in their 40s often commit. Dating offers a chance to start afresh. So, if you continue to talk about your previous relationships to your potential date, it may actually make them uninterested about you in the end.

    Taking Things Too Much Personally

    In this era of internet mingling, you must learn to not take actions and words too much personally or seriously. Instead, try to have fun with the new dating experience. No matter how much certain you are about your goals in life, don't judge your date instantly.

    Agreeing with Everything Too Much

    Do you agree with whatever your potential date says? Well then stop right now, as it will ruin your chances to have a reciprocating and honest romantic relationship. It's okay to fear a bit that you're over 40 and you can't effort people losing interest in you. But that doesn't mean you should say yes to things you're not comfortable with.

    Holding On to Outdated Beliefs

    Gone are the days when men used to ask women out; as in this cyberspace era, neither being shy nor waiting to be asked out can help you in finding the right date. Learn to make your move and you'll see dhow dating in 40s rocks.

    Remember, being over the age of 40 doesn't restrict you from being what you are or starting a new romantic relationship. Just be aware of not doing the silly mistakes mentioned above, and dating will be as fun as it used to be in your 20s.

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    Source by Achal Mehrotra

    Views: 0

  • He Doesn’t Know If He Wants to Marry Me! What This Means for Your Future

    He Doesn’t Know If He Wants to Marry Me! What This Means for Your Future

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    When you’re a woman who has dreamed for years of a romantic proposal and a beautiful white wedding dress, you’re bound to be disappointed when your intended groom has cold feet. One of the most disheartening things any woman can say about the man she loves is, “he doesn’t know if he wants to marry me.” It stings, it frustrates and it makes you second guess the entire relationship. How can he possibly say he utterly adores you and can’t imagine his life without you yet he won’t take any step towards marriage? If your guy seems completely stuck in boyfriend mode and he says he’s unsure about marriage, you really need to address why that is. If you ignore this, with the hope that one day he’ll “come to his senses” and propose, you may find yourself waiting impatiently five or even ten years from now.

    Before you do anything else, ask your man why he doesn’t want to marry you. You must be prepared for any potential answer though. Typically a commitment phobic man will resort to saying that he is scared of the idea of marriage because his parents divorced or he doesn’t feel financially stable yet. Those are valid reasons for any man to be hesitant about a serious step towards commitment. If he confides in you why he doesn’t feel ready yet, you can then work together towards finding a suitable compromise. Maybe you need to talk more about what caused his parents’ divorce so you are both aware of any potential triggers that may make him withdraw after the wedding. Or it may be more of a matter of talking frankly and openly about your mutual finances and how you can both invest in a future wedding.

    If your boyfriend stumbles when it comes to answering questions about why he doesn’t want to get married, you should be concerned. Sadly, the reason some men don’t want to get married is because they don’t feel that their current girlfriend is their ideal partner. You’ll be hard pressed to get your boyfriend to admit that this is the drive behind his desire to stay dating instead of committed, but you can read between the lines to gather the information you need.

    Consider how he views marriage in general. If he seems happy when a friend gets engaged and he’s talking often about how he hopes to be married one day, you need to pay attention to whether your name is ever mentioned as part of that plan. Some men will date one woman until they decide it’s time to look for a life partner. That’s when the break up occurs and just a few months later the man in question is suddenly marrying someone he just met. Most of us know of a couple just like that and typically it’s because either the man or the woman just didn’t see their partner as marriage material so they went looking for someone who was.

    Giving your man an ultimatum about marriage can actually be the undoing of any future that you two may have had, married or not. If you tell him that it’s marriage or the relationship is over, don’t be shocked if he says goodbye. You’re much better off talking to him rationally about how he envisions the future and whether or not he anticipates ever changing his mind about wanting to marry you. If he’s certain that he wants to remain your boyfriend and not your husband for the next several years, you then have an important decision to make. Remember your future happiness is in your own hands, so take all the knowledge you have of your man, weigh it against what you truly want in your life and go from there.

    This is clearly a situation in which you need to place your priorities in order so you can make an informed decision. Emotional circumstances like these can cloud our judgment. It’s hard to know whether marriage is more important than loving him. If you want the ring, the dress and the happily-ever-after future and he won’t budge in his decision to not pursue that, consider where you want your life to be in a year, or five years. The answer of what is best for you is found in looking towards your own future and fulfilling your own personal goals including a healthy, committed marriage with a man who sees the joy in being your better half.

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    Source by Gillian Reynolds

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