The father is the head of the home.—The character of the home determines the character of the church, society and the nation. The home is the most important of all earthly institutions. The problems of society, the church and the nation, if ever solved, must be largely solved in the home. The home is both a civil and divine institution. Civil and divine law place the husband and father at the head of the home. No teacher sustains a more vital relation toeacher sustains a more vital relation to society, no minister to his congregation, no king to his empire, or president to his republic, than does the conscientious father, who does his best to build an ideal home. He is truly serving God and his country, in the highest sense. In the work of building a home, he is serving society and the church in a higher sense than he would be, were he neglecting his family, by writing books, teaching school, delivering lectures or preaching sermons.
His relation to his wife.—The relation of husband and wife is a partnership affair. In every sense they are equal partners. Their rights and privileges are equal. Their part in building a home is not, in all respects, the same. The service of one is as important as the other. Neither can build a home without the other. Their service is incomparable.
He is to furnish financial support.—Nature has fitted man mentally and physically for devising means of earning a support for his family. Whatever occupation, calling or profession he may engage in, he should put forth the best effort of which he is capable to produce an income that will support his family decently.
The amount of money he can furnish his wife, will depend upon his earnings. They should talk over this matter as partners. One has as much right to the income as the other. They should not spend more than is produced. If the income is small, both should economize. They should endeavor to save something each year, even if the income is small. Money is stored-up human energy. If the income is large, they should be more liberal in the use of it, but it is always a sin to waste money. The husband has no right to cause his wife to beg him for money, to meet her personal expenses or the expenses of the children. The money is not exclusively his own. Home building is a partnership in which every member of the home is interested in every dollar produced. Legally the father may spend his money on his selfish indulgences. Morally{ he has no right to spend the home company money in a way that will not benefit each member of the home. For a father to annually spend fifty or more dollars on tobacco or drink and refuse corresponding amounts to his wife and children to be spent needlessly by them, is as dishonest, as for a member of a firm, or the president of a bank to misappropriate the funds of a partner or a depositor.
He is to furnish moral support.—For a man to build a reputation for honesty, truthfulness, sobriety and virtue and to possess a good character are of more value to his wife and children, as a home builder, than to be able to produce large earnings and to be free with the same. When a man assumes the responsibility of building a home, his family have a right to demand of him honesty, integrity, sobriety and virtue. He has no more right to rob them of one than the other.
He is to love his wife.—While the romance of courtship and the honeymoon cannot be continued for life, yet he should always show her a deep respect, a manly courtesy, a true love and absolute loyalty to his marriage vow.
The relation of the father to his children.—Each child born into the home is a new member added to the partnership. The children have financial, social and moral rights that should be respected by the parents. While civil law and God place the father at the head of the home, this does not give him special rights and privileges, or constitute him a boss or ruler, but he should so conduct himself that the family will regard him as their protector, supporter and adviser. He should not swear, tell vulgar stories, use tobacco or indulge in strong drink unless he is willing for each member of his family to follow his example. As partners in the home, they have the same moral rights as himself. He should be to his children a chum, a friend, a companion. He should constantly endeavor to make the children happy. There are times, in the home, when the father’s decision must be law. He must support his family. The law holds him responsible for their support and for their deportment as citizens. As long as they are under age, if they contract a debt or damage property, the law holds the father responsible. This responsibility makes it necessary for him to decide some things, in a way that a child may not wish to coincide. This should be done in a dignified and pleasant way.
The father should never allow himself to become angry or to use hasty and abusive language in correcting a child. If he does, he demonstrates his own weakness and inability to be a real father. Punishment of some natural kind is sometimes necessary, but corporal punishment, as a rule, is brutal.
The father should so conduct himself as to command the respect, reverence and love of his children. He should be sociable and gentle, as well as dignified and strong. He should have their complete confidence, so they will come to him with their problems and troubles. The sacred service of a true father in the home, can only be equaled by the service of the mother. The fathers who toil long and late, study and strive to support, educate and train a family of children to become good citizens and devoted Christians, will receive a rich reward here and a royal welcome yonder.
Extract from EBook of Self Knowledge and Guide to Sex Instruction, by T. W. Shannon
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