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  • Weight Loss – How I Went From 340 to 199 Pounds, Part 1

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    I spent two years losing over 140 pounds the old fashioned way: proper diet and exercise. No fads. No pills. No surgery. No crazy machines. I was 30 years old and 340 pounds. With a history of heart disease and obesity in my family, I decided it was time to shed the pounds.

    Almost every day I get people I haven’t seen in years coming up to me saying “Wow! You look great!” and then the next question… “What have you been doing?” That’s why I wrote this article.

    Disclaimer

    Now, of course, as a general disclaimer, I have to say that the tips I’m sharing with you here are just from my own personal experience. I’m not a professional health expert – although over the past couple of years I’ve read dozens of books, and hundreds of articles on nutrition, exercise, and weight lifting. I’m not a doctor. You should, of course, seek your own doctor’s advice before starting any kind of a weight-loss or exercise plan. I firmly believe that with the right diet and proper exercise, almost anyone should be able to lose weight and get fit safely.

    Tip 1. It’s All About Calories

    First, the bad news. Weight gain and loss is directly tied to the amount of calories you eat versus the calories you expend through exercise. What’s a calorie?

    A calorie is a unit of heat energy. Specifically, it’s the amount of heat energy required to raise 1 gram of water by 1 degree Celsius. How this relates to your body is that when you eat food, the food molecules are broken down chemically and that energy is either used by your body to perform work (like building muscle, or constructing new cells) or is stored (as fat). If you take in more calories than you burn, you will start to get fat.

    Now, in the world of calories, it takes 3500 calories to equal one pound of body weight. So, if you take in an extra 3500 calories in your diet this week without exercising, congratulations… you’ve just gained one pound (probably all body fat). The good news is that you can lose one pound of fat by either removing 3500 calories from your diet, or adding 3500 calories of exercise to your weekly schedule, or a combination of the two.

    What’s 3500 calories? It’s actually not much if you’re eating the wrong kinds of food. You can consume 3500 calories in one meal if you eat two Double Whoppers (1010 calories each), a King Size order of french fries (590), a King Size onion rings (600), and a chocolate shake (440). Don’t laugh… this is what I used to eat for dinner if my family went to Burger King… or something similarly outrageous.

    So the bottom line here is that if you want to lose weight, you have to create a calorie deficit. That means you have to burn off more calories than you eat. You had to eat more calories than you burned to get fat… now you have to reduce the calories to get lean. It’s that simple. In order to know how many calories you’re taking in and burning off, you need to write them down.

    Tip 2. Eat Frequently Throughout the Day

    Think of your body as a furnace. You want your furnace to burn fuel as efficiently as possible. In order for that to happen, you need to let it burn hot and steady throughout the day.

    You need to stoke your fire often to keep it burning. Keep your metabolism running all day long by eating every 3 to 4 hours. My personal tip: I eat on hours evenly divisible by 3. That means breakfast at 9am (if I’m up that early), lunch at noon, a snack at 3pm, dinner at 6pm, a snack at 9pm, and if I’m still up another snack at midnight.

    Now, I personally work late (I usually get most of my “real work” done between the hours of 10pm and 2am) but if you need to eat at different hours, that’s fine… Just take the total number of calories you’re going to eat throughout the day and divvy them up into 3-hour intervals. Keep that fire stoked! If you can’t take a break at work to eat every 3 hours, bring a protein bar with you.

    If you skip breakfast, then you’re extremely hungry by the time lunch comes around. Skip lunch, and you’re more likely to gorge yourself at dinner. Why? Your body is saying, “Hey! I need food badly!” If you feed yourself often, throughout the day, your body doesn’t go into shock, and you won’t get those wild cravings and hunger pangs when it’s time to eat.

    Tip 3. Start a Food & Exercise Journal

    Don’t just dismiss this section. I did! The first couple of times I read about doing this in fitness and weight-loss books, I said to myself, “I don’t have the time to do this.” But you know what – it really works!

    I cannot stress how important it is to write everything down that you eat. All you need is a little notebook. Make four columns: what you ate, how much of it you ate, how many calories were in it, and what time of the day you ate it. It’s that simple. Also write down any exercise or other activities that are more strenuous than just sitting around.

    Taking the time to recognize what you’re eating is the first step to losing weight. A lot of people truly don’t realize how much crap they’re eating. When I first started doing this – and writing down everything I was eating – it really opened my eyes to the volumes of junk food I was eating before. I was a slave to cookies, chocolate, chicken wings, and pizza. When I first took the time to look up the fact that a chicken wing has 150 calories in it (yes, one wing), I was astounded. I used to eat 20 wings and 2 or 3 slices of pizza for dinner.

    Now you can get yourself one of those little calorie counter booklets from your favorite book store. Sometimes you’ll even see them in the grocery store. They’re invaluable. Once you get to know the foods you eat on a regular basis, keeping track of what you eat is really quite simple. You will gain a better appreciation for what you’re putting in your body.

    So please, please, please, take my advice and journal everything you eat. You do NOT have to do this for the rest of your life… just until you hit your goal weight. By that time, you’ll be able to keep a good mental track of what you’re eating, and you’ll be more aware of what you should eat, and how much exercise you should be getting every week.

    Also, you do not have to obsess over every little calorie! Counting your calories can be as detailed as you like. If you want to track every last celery stick, by all means do so. However, you can just round your calories off to the nearest 10, or 20. Don’t worry whether or not something contains 24 or 26 calories. In the end, it doesn’t make that much of a difference… but whether something has 100 or 200 calories does.

    The important thing… and I cannot stress this enough… is write everything down!

    Tip 4. Eat The Right Amount of Calories

    We’re not going to starve ourselves! In fact, proper weight loss is best accomplished by eating more frequently than you’re probably used to! Let me say that again: you’re going to eat more food than you are right now. You’re going to eat better food, more often, but at a lower calorie intake. If you’re like I used to be, you’re probably skipping breakfast. This means that when lunchtime comes around, you’re starving, so you probably overeat the wrong kinds of food (like pizza, wings, Chinese, etc.) for lunch – and I’ll bet it’s fast food or takeout. Then, you don’t eat anything again for six to eight hours, and pack in a monster dinner.

    Now here’s what happens: your body isn’t getting any food first thing in the morning, so your metabolism isn’t getting started. Your “calorie-burning fire” doesn’t get started in the morning, so you’re not really burning as many calories as you should be. Also, your body is saying, “uh, oh – I’m not getting any food. I better hold on to whatever body fat I can because we’re starving!” This is bad. If you don’t eat enough food, often enough, your body will basically go into starvation mode and hang on to whatever body fat it can.

    The key to unlocking your stored fat is to feed yourself enough good food so that your body doesn’t need to store any additional fat, while at the same time getting plenty of exercise and strength training to burn whatever fat you currently have and build muscle.

    There are a bunch of factors that go into calculating metabolic rates and all that jazz, but you can use this chart as a basic measurement of how many calories you should be eating as part of your weight-loss diet. Notice it’s based on your current weight and your gender. Women need fewer calories then do men. Also, if you’re a smaller person, you need less energy than a larger person. Use this chart to determine how many calories you should be eating on a daily basis.

    WOMEN

    Under 130: 1000 Calories

    130-150: 1200 Calories

    151-200: 1400 Calories

    201-250: 1600 Calories

    251-300: 1800 Calories

    301-350: 2000 Calories

    351-400: 2200 Calories

    MEN

    Under 130: 1200 Calories

    130-150: 1400 Calories

    151-200: 1600 Calories

    201-250: 1800 Calories

    251-300: 2000 Calories

    301-350: 2200 Calories

    351-400: 2400 Calories

    Now here’s something that’s vitally important… you want to make sure you get enough calories every day, otherwise your body will go into “starvation” mode. You want to make sure that you eat your meals at least four times a day to keep your metabolism running. If you don’t eat, your body will go into starvation mode. It will realize that it’s not getting enough food, and will hold on to body fat. It’s important to get enough calories spaced throughout the day to keep your fire stoked. Don’t think that by starving yourself you’re going to lose weight. It will be the wrong kind of weight. Remember, your body will eat it’s own muscle tissue first before burning fat if it doesn’t have enough protein.

    Tip 5. Send Yourself to Boot Camp

    Now, if you want to jump start your body on its way to fast weight loss, here’s what you’re going to do. Ignore the charts above, and drop yourself right down to a 1000-calorie-per-day diet immediately. In addition, make sure you get at least 15 minutes of walking (or some other easy, basic, extra exercise) in every day as well.

    You will do this for exactly two weeks… no more… no less. Then, you will go back to eating the normal amount of calories as indicated on the chart above.

    It’s not going to be easy. You won’t be able to eat any junk food for these first two weeks. You can, however, eat plenty of good foods – chicken, salads, whole grain breads, etc. It won’t be easy, but once you get through it, you’ll be able to add lots of calories back in to your diet, and feel more normal again… in fact, after eating only 1000 calories for two weeks, you’ll probably have a hard time bringing yourself back up to 2000 calories (or whatever you should be at).

    Here’s why this works: dropping your calorie intake down to 1000 calories will shock your body into new eating habits. You will cleanse your body of toxins (like those monster grease burgers you’ve been eating) and get some good, healthy food in you. You will notice weight loss after the first couple of days, but you’ll be keeping your energy up by eating good foods at regular intervals. You can stop any cravings you’re having with water, or add some extra veggies in there – you can eat just about as much green vegetables as you want.

    Tip 6. Don’t Think “Fat Free” Means “Calorie Free”

    Everywhere you look, it seems that “low fat” foods abound. While there are certain low-fat or no-fat foods that we are going to eat, you don’t want to restrict yourself to a totally no-fat diet. There are certain fats that are good fats, and other that are bad fats. We’re going to want to eat good fats because they are necessary for proper health. Bad fats, however, will make you fat.

    There are tons of fad “no-fat” diets out there that have promoted the whole “low-fat” mentality. What’s happened? People are still continuing to get fat eating “fat-free” foods. They eat fat-free cookies, fat-free chips, and fat-free dairy products, yet they keep getting fatter. Why? Many fat-free foods have nearly as many calories as their full-fat versions.

    Now, you start eating “fat free” potato chips thinking to yourself that you can splurge… hey, why not? They’re “fat free.” Well, you still load on the calories with fat-free potato chips. It’s the calories that make you fat. In fact, when food manufacturers remove fat from their products, often times they replace the fat with sugar to improve the taste. Guess what… by adding sugar, they’re bringing the calorie count almost back up to where the full-fat product was.

    We need fat. Fat forms lining of the cell membranes in almost every cell of our bodies. Your brain is composed primarily of fat. If you don’t eat enough of the right kinds of fat, your brain will not get the proper nutrition to function. Eating too little fat can also reduce your testosterone levels (equally important for women as for men).

    Tip 7. Know Your Fats

    Saturated Fats are bad for you. They are found mostly in beef, milk, cheese, deli meats, butter, and some tropical oils. Saturated fats increase your risk of coronary artery disease, diabetes, and obesity. Avoid or minimize saturated fat intake. Try to eat low-fat meats like chicken and turkey without the skin, and reduced-fat dairy products. If you’re eating red mean, get the lowest-fat, leanest meat you can.

    Trans Fats are saturated fats that are extremely bad for you. You should completely eliminate all foods with trans fats in them from your diet. These types of unnatural fats are created during food manufacturing processes such as the hydrogenation of vegetable oil. They are usually found in pastries, buns, chips, doughnuts, shortening, and other such foods. If the label says “trans fat” put that product back on the shelf. If the ingredients of any product say “partially hydrogenated” anywhere on it – put it back. One example: margarine! It’s evil. It’s loaded with trans-fatty acids. Avoid it at all costs. Also avoid vegetable shortening, commercial pasties, deep-fried food, and most prepared snacks, mixes, and convenience foods.

    Studies have shown that saturated and trans fats are actually addictive and make you want to eat more. They have also been linked to all kinds of health problems from cancer and heart disease to diabetes.

    Unsaturated Fats, on the other hand, are generally good for you. These types of fats are usually found in nuts, seeds, fish, and grains. Mono-unsaturated fats, such as the types found in olive and canola oil, will actually protect your cardiovascular system from disease. These are the types of fats we’re going to load into our diet.

    – Good fats: almonds, avocado, cashews, flax oil, olive oil, olives, peanut butter, peanuts, fresh fish (salmon, mackerel, tuna)

    – Bad fats: butter, coconut, corn oil, cream cheese, half-and-half, lard, mayonnaise, shortening, sour cream

    Keep in mind that you need fats in your diet, but even the good fats listed above have a good amount of calories in them – so take it easy! A tablespoon of olive oil, for example, as 100 calories. Almonds (which I love to snack on) have 6 calories a piece. Nuts are a great, healthy-fat snack – but just make sure to take a small handful not the whole bag!

    Tip 8. Add Omega 3 Fatty Acids to Your Diet

    Omega fats are unsaturated fats that are not only good for you, but they’re essential for your health. Your body cannot create these fats, so you must get them totally from your diet. Omega fats are helpful for many reasons, plus they are necessary for normal cell growth and development.

    First, Omega fats are an excellent appetite suppressant. Part of the reason why people binge on “fat-free” foods is because fat is what makes your stomach “feel full.” If you aren’t eating any fat in your meal, your stomach never tells your brain that you’re full. Add a little good fat to your meal, and you’ll feel full with less food.

    Eating Omega fats helps your body to unlock stored fat so that you can use it for energy. Omega fat balances your body’s ratio of insulin to glucagon. When you eat sugary foods, your body releases insulin to remove the excess sugar from your system. If you do this too often, the insulin will block the hormone glucagon – which is another hormone that functions to help your body burn fat. Too much sugar = too much insulin = not enough glucagon = little fat burning. Plus, you are at risk for diabetes. Omega fats help to balance this ratio.

    Omega fats help to boost your body’s metabolic rate. This also helps you to burn more calories. Omega fats are the building blocks of your cells. Your cell membranes consist of Omega fats. Since they cannot be created by the body, you must get them from your diet.

    A specific fat, Omega 3 Fatty Acid, is obtained from flax seeds or flax seed oil. This will be the primary fat that we’ll add to our meals. You can use it on salads and in breads, add it to soups and yogurt. Don’t cook with it, however, as the heat will change it’s chemical properties. You will also find good doses of Omega 3 in most seafood, green leavy vegetables, fatty fish (salmon, tuna, trout, mackerel), walnuts, olive, and canola oil.

    Have fish for dinner at least twice a week – and I don’t mean your beer-battered, fried haddock that the local pub serves on Fridays. Pick a fish like salmon, tuna, or mackerel. Bake or grill them – don’t fry them. They have very high concentrations of Omega 3 fatty acids in them. Add flax oil to your salads instead of fatty dressings. Snack on walnuts or almonds instead of cookies and chocolate. You will feel full sooner, and you’ll be adding essential fatty acids to your diet to help burn calories!

    Tip 9. Get Plenty of Protein

    Proteins are the building blocks for your body. You need to eat lots of protein for your body to build, repair, and maintain your muscle and other lean tissues. If you don’t eat enough protein, your body will break down muscle tissue, which is bad, to maintain itself. As a result, your metabolism will slow, and you won’t burn body fat. Unlike fat or glucose, there’s nowhere in our bodies to store protein (aside from building muscle tissue) so you have to get a lot from your diet.

    How much protein should you eat? Most people should eat about 0.4 to 0.8 grams of protein per pound of body weight. Therefore, if you weigh 200 pounds, you should be eating between 80 and 160 grams of protein per day. This isn’t hard to do. Eat two eggs for breakfast, and an 8-ounce serving of chicken for dinner, and you’re at 60 grams of protein right there.

    What kinds of protein should you eat? I like fish, chicken (white meat), turkey (white meat), soy products, beans, legumes, and eggs (whites only – yokes have a lot of fat). Soy products are a great source of protein… once you get used to the taste. I have totally switched from regular milk to soy milk. It has all the calcium, much less of the saturated fat, and none of the cholesterol of normal milk (even skim milk!)

    Eat fish twice a week, chicken twice a week, turkey once a week, a vegetarian meal once a week, and then on that seventh day, go ahead and splurge with the pork or beef… just take it easy. Just make sure you choose lean sirloin cuts. Trim off any fat. Beef has a lot of saturated fat in it (it’s marbled throughout the meat so you can’t just cut it off). Beef is the worst meat for you – as compared to the other popular meats.

    – Good protein: beans (any kind), eggs (preferably whites – yolks have a lot of fat), chicken (white meat, no skin), turkey (white meat, no skin), salmon (preferably not farmed), tuna (packed in water, not oil), mahi mahi, any shellfish, any soy products.

    – Bad protein: bacon, ham, hot dogs, beef, pork, lamb, veal.

    In part 2 of this article, you’ll read about nine more tips to lose weight.

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    Source by Richard Rost

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  • Heal Yourself With Water – The Water Cure

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    Most people have figured out by now that medicine does not cure disease. Medicine isn’t necessarily bad; it just isn’t necessary. Do not let your fear of disease make you forget that humanity wasn’t exactly dying off when pharmaceutical companies saw a financial opportunity and exploded onto the scene. You need to know the facts; then, if you still choose to be ill, it will truly be a “free choice,” and not one born of the absence of awareness.

    You are mostly water. You are made of cells (30-50 trillion of them); and they are mostly water. You need to replenish the water in your body in order to keep it fresh and clean, so that you can stay fresh and clean – healthy. Water cleans you, nourishes you, energizes you, cools you, lubricates you, supports and sustains you, and is truly most of what you are. And water is simply Hydrogen and Oxygen; both of which are atoms – which are simply Energy. You are Energy; but between pure Energy and the form you have currently assumed, there is water.

    When I say, “Water,” I do not mean to say, “Coca cola, Gatorade, Milk, Diet Coke, Orange juice, Beer, or any other liquid solution; these do not clean and support your body. These substances add chemicals to your body which alters the way you feel. Drinking water helps cleanse these chemicals and other toxins from your body returning you to your natural state of health – a state which most Americans have truly not seen since they were very, very young (if then!).

    It is estimated that most Americans are chronically dehydrated. How do you know if that’s you? If you don’t drink 2-3 liters of pure water each day (an estimated one-half your body weight, in ounces), you are most likely dehydrated. Even if you do, you may still be dehydrated depending on your weight and the amount of other solutions, salts, and sugars in your diet. You are mostly water; and good health is primarily predicated on the maintenance of your water level and the cleanliness, or purity, of the water in your body. If the water is heavily-laden with suspended materials, you are toxic. If you are toxic, you are sick, overweight, or on your way to both of these conditions. There are no other options; and there is no escaping this simple reality.

    “But I don’t like drinking plain water!” I hear it all the time; but what most people have been conditioned to Not Realize is that this statement is only an indicator light that you are addicted to the flavoring and chemicals in the beverages you do consume. In the absence of true awareness, what we LIKE is what we choose. If I told you that drinking coffee would make you explode, and then the guy next to you took a big drink of coffee and exploded, I bet you a dollar you’d put your coffee cup down. But what if it took 20-years for you to explode? Would you start drinking water instead of coffee today, or would you put it off hoping you could quit nineteen-years from now and be none the worse for wear?

    I know the things we drink taste good; and I’m not saying that they are “bad.” But there is an obvious effect from the chemicals in the things we drink; and you are definitely not doing yourself any favors by not drinking enough water. I am not necessarily trying to change anyone’s ways; but some of you do indeed want to feel better and have simply never been told anything other than what you’ve been told – none of which contained the answers to your problems, or you wouldn’t have them right now. If you want different, you must think and do different; and yet most people simply can not do this – and don’t even realize it.

    In the Declaration of Independence, there is a line which reads: “…and, accordingly, all experience has shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed.” I realize that words do not teach, and that you can lead a horse to water, but you can not make that horse drink water when it could have a Diet Coke instead; but maybe nobody ever told you what happens when you don’t drink enough water, so here goes…

    If you do not drink enough water, you could quickly experience any of the following, in any combination: Dyspeptic pain, Colitis pain, False Appendix pain (of course the surgery will be real…), Hiatus Hernia, Rheumatoid arthritis pain, Low back pain, Angina, Headaches (one of the first signs of dehydration), Stress, Depression, Asthma, Allergies, Excess body weight, High blood pressure, High cholesterol, Diabetes, Fainting, Insomnia, and many other serious and not-so-serious symptoms. If you have any of these symptoms or conditions, they could have been brought on by not drinking enough water; and some of them could be caused by the drugs you are taking for problems you could be drinking water to get rid of. Yes, there is a good chance you are treating “thirst” with prescription drugs that only “clog your filters” (liver and kidneys) and give you the added bonus of “side-effects” which could actually kill you. I’ll just have the water, please…

    The bottom line is that you are water and need to renew yourself daily. Failure to do so is typically the result of ignorance and addiction; one of which should have been remedied by the last paragraph. Chronic (constant/ongoing) cellular dehydration is a painful way to die prematurely of outward symptoms and manifestations which have, until recently, been thought to be diseases of “known” and unknown origins. Until you are properly hydrated and oxygenated, you have absolutely no way of knowing what is causing your pain and illness, regardless of what you have been told about your health up to this point. You are water. You have a choice. What kind of ending do you want for your story?

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    Source by Pete Koerner

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  • What Can I Say To Make My Husband Understand The Pain That His Cheating Has Caused?

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    It’s very common from me to hear from wives who are struggling to explain to their husbands just how much his cheating or affair hurt them and caused them pain. But often, their husband doesn’t react in the way that they were hoping for and they are looking for a way to explain their feelings so that he actually understands them.

    I recently heard from a wife who said, in part: “I have repeatedly tried to explain to my husband the depth of and reasons for my pain after his infidelity, but he either doesn’t want to hear it or he’s not understanding what I’m saying. Sometimes, I pour my heart out to him and try to explain how he has hurt me and all I get is blank stare back or empty assurances that he really is trying. This is so frustrating to me because I need him to understand the extent of my pain so that I can have some reassurance that he’ll never cheat again. I want him to understand why I sometimes act in the way that I do because of what a grave mistake he has made. But part of me thinks that he’s unwilling or just incapable of hearing me. How can I explain my pain in a way that he’ll actually understand and be willing to listen?” I’ll address these concerns in the following article.

    Pick The Right Time And Know That, Once You Start Repeating Yourself, Your Words Lose Their Effectiveness: I hear from both wives who are faithful and husbands who are not on my blog and I can tell you that if you are constantly talking about your hurt and pain, eventually, even the most sincere husband will begin to tune you out. One reason for this is that no one wants to constantly be reminded of the pain that they have caused. And husbands will often want to place their focus on moving on while the wife wants to place her focus on understanding and digging a little deeper.

    This doesn’t necessarily mean that the husband doesn’t care about your pain or just doesn’t want to hear it. But, at least sometimes, he hears your words as accusations. He might constantly hear that his selfishness and weakness has hurt you deeply and this just isn’t a message that he wants to hear on a continual basis, day after day. Men will often give comments like “she constantly wants to tell me how much the infidelity has hurt her. I do believe and understand that and I’m sorry for it. But, do I really need or have to listen to what an awful person I am every single day? How many times does she need to explain where I went wrong or how awful I am before she will feel satisfied that she’s said it enough? I tell her I’m deeply sorry. I listen. But it doesn’t seem to be enough and we repeat this process constantly.”

    I’m not telling you this to imply that you can’t regularly discuss and try to work through the infidelity. I’m telling you this because I want you to understand the obstacles that are in your way and the dynamics that are at play here. If you really want your husband to listen and to take your words to heart, then sometimes you have to pick the right time and limit the message so that it has the maximum impact.

    Consider What Your Husband Is Actually Going To Hear Before You Say The Words: I alluded to this in the previous paragraph, but sometimes the message that your husband hears has more to do with your tone and your delivery than the words that you say. So you might say something like “your infidelity has hurt me deeply. It’s made me doubt your integrity and your love and commitment to me. It’s affected my self esteem and my level of trust. And I’m not sure when things are going to get any better.”

    But what he hears is often something more in line with: “your poor decision to cheat on me has ruined my life and will probably ruin our marriage. You are an awful, selfish person with very little impulse control. And your actions have caused me so much pain that I might not ever fully recover. Because of this, I am going to feel pain and resentment every time I look at you or even think of you. And, this is going to be our lot in life from this day on because I don’t anticipate any changes.”

    These examples might seem a little extreme, but they aren’t that far off from the comments that I hear. An unfaithful husband can hear a message that you never intended. And because of this, he is often somewhat resistant to that message. Of course, the wife will often take this to mean he isn’t listening or he just doesn’t care and so she will continue to repeat herself with more feeling. And of course, this just keeps the cycle going. She doesn’t feel heard and he feels beaten down and neither person is getting what they want or need.

    If you think about it, what you probably really want is to feel heard. You want for him to know, understand, (and even feel) your pain because if he does, he’s less likely to cheat again and more likely to show the remorse that so many of us really want and need. So, think about what’s most likely to accomplish this.

    You don’t want to come across as too accusatory or too despondent because unfortunately, these things will contribute to him feeling defensive and to tuning you out. Instead, you want to use “I” phrases so that it sounds as if you’re talking responsibility for your own feelings and you’re not just trying to lay on the blame or make him feel continuously guilty for the rest of his life. And, you want to choose the time when your message is most likely to be heard. You don’t want to try to explain yourself in the middle of a fight or when you’re main goal is to hurt him. I’ve found that the message is often more likely to be heard if you say it when things are going a little more positively and both people are calm.

    An Example Of What To Say To Express The Pain His Cheating Has Caused: An example would be something like: “if this is a good time, I’d like to briefly explain how much your infidelity has hurt me. I’m not doing this to punish you or to paint you as a horrible person. I love you and don’t think you’re an awful person, but I need to feel as though you care enough to hear me. And I need to know that you truly understand so that you will hesitate to cheat again. Having someone who you love more than anything betray you in this way is something that is more devastating and hurtful than I could have ever imagined. It calls into doubt things about your marriage and yourself that are just devastating. Can you even begin to put yourself in my shoes and imagine that the rolls were reversed? Because I need to know that you understand how much pain I’m in so that we can begin to move forward once and for all. I don’t intend to keep bringing this up, but before I move on, I need to know that you truly understand.”

    Phrasing like this is much more likely to get the response and the understanding that you are after. But you can only play this card so often before your husband begins to tune you out. So once you’ve laid your cards on the table, it’s best to begin to move forward so that your husband can see that you’re sincere about not using your words to continuously punish him.

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    Source by Katie Lersch

    Views: 0

  • Why Choosing an Eye Doctor Is So Important

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    Eye doctors are extremely valuable individuals because they can help you maintain healthy vision throughout the course of your life. Choosing the right eye doctor can mean the difference between healthy vision and poor vision. That is why choosing an optometrist is so important. Your eyes are your windows into the world. If you lose your sight for any reason, that window will be closed permanently. No one ever considers the possibility of going blind. But it often occurs due to sudden eye trauma, old age, or development of certain eye diseases. A good optometrist can help you address these problems quickly and effectively, and already having developed a history with one can be time-critical.

    For individuals who can see relatively well, the consequences of poor eye health might not cross their minds. But just because you see well today doesn’t mean that you will be able to see well tomorrow. Accidents happen all the time and we can lose vision simply as a result of the aging process. Even if you don’t wear glasses or contact lenses, you still need a good eye doctor because everyone should have their eyes checked on a regular basis, regardless of their past medical history. That is why choosing an optometrist is so important. If you or your children start experiencing eye complications or vision problems, you’ll want a reputable eye doctor to take care of them and help you.

    Choosing an optometrist is easy. You can start with the phone book and look up the names of different eye doctors in your area. Or, you can do a search on the Internet. If you have friends or family members who wear glasses, you can talk to them to find out which optometrist they see on a regular basis. If their eye doctor is accepting new patients, then you should be able to get in for an appointment easily. If you don’t have any friends or family members who wear glasses or go to an optometrist, then searching through the phone book or on the Internet is your next best option.

    The Internet can give you a list of optometrists and also show you how far they are from your location. For example, you can search for “eye doctors in Austin, TX” and a list of eye doctors who work in Austin will appear on the computer screen. Then it’s just a matter of scrolling through the names and deciding which optometrists are closest to you. Start with one eye doctor, and make a phone call to see if they have any available appointments. The best way to determine if an optometrist is right for you is to schedule an appointment and see for yourself. If you like the eye doctor during your appointment, then your work is done. But if you don’t like the optometrist (for whatever reason), then you can choose another one off from your list and schedule an appointment with him or her. Choosing an optometrist is a lot like choosing a mechanic – sometimes it takes a few bad ones before you find a good one.

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    Source by Roger Ubik

    Views: 0

  • The Way To Success For You Now With This Easy Abundance Mindset For Living Your Dreams

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    Is success for you in life possible right now? Your life isn't really about being a competitor against others, to be fought on their terms.

    A few separate business owners can be compared for their success in the corporate world, but this doesn't really show us about their entire lives, does it?

    As you read along and ponder this article keep in mind that the Course in Miracles states, "The body's serial adventures, from the time of birth to dying are the theme of every dream the world has ever had."

    If you'll be happier, wealthier and much healthier at some point in the future, does this imply you are a failure now?

    – Success in life is about the process, not about lists of accomplishments.

    – Your individual success remains in the actions of this moment.

    – This may be a genuine originality to you, but does not it make user-friendly sense?

    If you stop working at the specific goals you are presently working on, but the attempt is honest, and you're willing to learn from your mistakes, isn't this personal success?

    The idea might be annoying for some, yet for some others the idea of ​​success being someplace in the future is simply a method to excuse the actions of the moment.

    They can continue "waiting for their ship to come in," and postpone taking the actions they need to take to fulfill themselves.

    They can keep that future in mind – and always press it a little additional forward.

    If you think like this, you may not like the idea that you can have success in life right now, because it reminds you that it is your duty.

    On the other hand, the concept of success being in this instant now can be a very liberating thought.

    Previously I discussed free material on the web such as e-books and more on manifesting your desires and the right tools for getting you to that point.

    Discover your inspiration in the work of the instant you are in now, do it honestly and with acceptance of the requirement to constantly fix course and delight in the journey, and you are successful right now.

    Exactly what do you want out of life, is it to become wealthy?

    Travel the world? Be much healthier?

    Or, is it all of the above?

    Whatever your finest course remains in life is (and this is only for you to choose), when you to begin honestly in that direction, at that precise moment you are being successful as a human being.

    Success in life is distinct and individual.

    External symptoms of success are great – money, things and chances. This internal procedure of courageously choosing the best path again and taking action is what specifies success in life.

    As I 'd said success in life can be different for few, the same for a few, and unbelievably exciting for many who dive into the process.

    Success in life is about how you go about achieving your dreams, setting goals and objectives, and how you live your life while in this world.

    Does purchase to live life to the fullest as a way to create wealth with the abundance mindset make you a successful individual?

    If you believe like this, you might not like the idea that you can be a success right now, since it advises you that it is a duty you owe to yourself.

    (Please note I suggest that you search the internet for further helpful material when looking for a few things you can do to help you succeed in life, and while you do, keep in mind that success in life is unique and personal.)

    To success and happiness in your life!

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    Source by James Nussbaumer

    Views: 0

  • Affiliate Programs For Beginners

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    Starting out, you need only two affiliate programs, one to recommend physical products, the other for information products.

    The clear winner for physical products is Amazon. For information products, the best one used to be ClickBank, but JVZoo has overtaken it this year.

    Here’s why Amazon and ClickBank are the two best options.

    Amazon Associates

    The Amazon Associates program is very well known. You use their links to promote certain products and you get a cut for every item bought through your links. Commission varies between 2% and 8%, depending on the product.

    But every time someone lands on Amazon trough your affiliate link, you get a cut of everything they buy during that visit, not just the product you recommended.

    This makes using the Amazon Affiliates program really powerful.

    The way to leverage the program is to write product reviews on your blog. It is the simplest way to make money online, especially for beginners.

    Once you’ve started making some money through your first few sales through the program, you can start to scale by reinvesting that money, and up your income.

    JVZoo

    There are loads of information products online. You could even consider the internet an information product. People, simply, use the internet to find information.

    Much of that is free, but people are willing to pay for information that will make their lives better.

    The commission you get by recommending these products can go up to 75% – a huge increase on what you get for physical goods.

    It is much harder, however, to sell information products. Commissions are higher, but coversions are lower.

    I would have recommended ClickBank before this year, but JVZoo has taken over for one reason.

    There are more product launches on JVZoo.

    Easy Way to Sell Information Products:

    Product launches make it much easier to sell information products.

    You do essentially the same thing as for physical goods, you write reviews and include an affiliate link people can use to buy the product.

    Product launches are specific days when a new one goes on sale. You choose a product to review, you can see upcoming launches through MunchEye, write your review, include your link and use the hype of the first day to generate traffic and sales.

    Since there are a lot more product launches on JVZoo this makes it much easier for someone starting out to make their first bit of money and attract traffic.

    People searching for a review are nearly ready to buy something. That makes it easier to sell to them. And a good review helps them. It helps them not waste money on products not fit for them or time having to research all the details themselves. You’re also not competing with the people who put out the product, in fact you are helping them.

    Those things make reviews great for affiliate marketing.

    You will have to work hard, but your reviews could be passively earning you money months or years down the road.

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    Source by James Pierce

    Views: 0

  • What Marketing Strategy Is the Best for You?

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    If you pick the right marketing strategy, you’ll be like that little guy in the middle of my diagram above. Yes! Winning! Fist pumps!

    The problem with marketing today is that there are way too many options and it’s much too confusing. It makes me dizzy just thinking about this stuff and I’ve been immersed in it for 35 years.

    Well, I lay down on my bed last week with a notepad and started to map out my “Unified Theory of Marketing Strategies” with an emphasis on online marketing.

    And I actually came up with something that’s not totally confusing, and might even be helpful to a few people.

    Here goes…

    It’s yet another four-quadrant grid where the vertical axis is a scale from easy to hard and the horizontal axis is a scale from passive to proactive.

    I emerged with these four snappy quadrants:

    Hard and Passive = Multimedia

    Easy and Passive = Publishing

    Hard and Proactive = Presentations

    Easy and Proactive = Email

    Now, all of these strategies can be effective. But, yes some are easier than others. And the passive ones tend to take a lot longer than the proactive ones.

    Hard and Passive = Multimedia (Videos)

    Everyone is crazy about video these days. It’s a challenging, yet passive strategy. You put a lot work into creating a video and then post it on YouTube hoping people see it.

    It’s difficult to do well. It’s time-consuming and it can be expensive. And most videos are pure crap. If you want to do it well, it takes a chunk of change and a lot of time.

    Throwing up a lot of little videos on your website can be a nice touch, but they usually don’t get people to call you in droves.

    So, as you can see, I’m not crazy about a video strategy for self-employed professionals. I’m not saying they can’t work, but it’s a whole lot of work to do right.

    Best example: A non-duality teacher named Rupert Spira (non-duality.rupertspira.com/home). He does live workshops and films everything. Then his staff chops them up into questions and answer segments and posts them on YouTube. They’re five to fifteen minutes long. And what you see is what you get. No pitch, no hype. It’s his teaching unadulterated.

    He has hundreds of videos on YouTube with hundreds of thousands of views. Does it work? Well, his workshops are always full and all he does is a low-key email announcement to his list every month or two.

    I like this approach a lot. Got a lot of good content? Look good on video (unlike yours truly)? Then you may want to emulate Rupert.

    Easy and Passive = Publishing

    I happen to like this strategy a lot as it, ahem, built my “Empire.” It’s relatively easy: Write a how-to article on your subject matter once a week, send it out to those on your e-list and publish on your blog. Fame ensues.

    But online publishing can be a lot more than that. You can take those same articles and publish them on Medium, LinkedIn, and Ezine Articles. And then you can announce them on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest. Sometimes you can get big exposure when writing an article for a major online publication. Web traffic multiplies.

    The cost is zero; an article takes from two to five hours to write (unless it takes you several days). And your ideas are online for eternity to be discovered by those looking for practical ideas. Some will opt-in to your e-list and perpetuate this virtuous marketing circle.

    The downside, of course, is that, according to my extensive research, (a 10 second Google search), there are 2 million articles published online every day. The mind reels. So your stuff will be out there, but somewhat lost in a very big haystack.

    I’m still a big advocate of online publishing, but the mountain is getting steeper and steeper. Just writing an article or two here and there won’t help you much.

    Best Example: Well, other than mine, of course, check out Henneke of Enchanted Marketing. She has a wonderful, readable, fun blog on business writing and blogging. And she walks her talk. It’s all about well-written, relevant content. If you don’t have that as a foundation, it’s a total waste of time.

    Hard and Proactive = Presentations

    I built my business on presentations in front of live audiences at professional associations and chambers of commerce. It got me attention, added people to my mailing list and generated warm leads for marketing coaching.

    And I still do presentations today in the form of webinars. I just filled my recent group program with the help of a couple webinars (also called video conferences). They most certainly do work.

    But I put presentations in the hard category, not because they are all that hard to give, but can take a long time to prepare. The last one I did took me two full days. There were about 200 slides (whew).

    Yes, that’s not the only way to do a webinar. You can just go live on Zoom Video, and that can work as well. You ultimately have to find your style and test what works.

    Presentations are proactive in that at the end you can ask for the business. And, of course, you can turn the recording of the webinar into a video in a snap and send it out to those on your list. Watch it here.

    So presentations will always play a big part in my marketing toolkit.

    One other thing though – If you don’t have a LOT of people on your email list, good luck in getting much of an attendance. Yes, you can do guest presentations hosted by others, but you don’t have the same control and ability to pitch your professional services.

    Best example: John Nemo of LinkedIn Riches (linkedinriches.com). His webinar is a blast. There are a lot of them out there in the online marketing world. And many, Like John, have set them up as evergreen webinars that are scheduled to play automatically several times a day. These are kind of a hybrid between publishing and presentations.

    Easy and Proactive = Email

    In my opinion, email is the most powerful overall marketing tool. And it gets the least respect. But I can’t imagine even being in business without email marketing.

    Social media gets all the PR and all the attention, but email gets the business. A recent study showed that email generated 40 times the business results of Facebook and Twitter combined.

    Email is the online tool that’s been around the longest, and I think it’s taken for granted. Promotional emails have expanded exponentially over the years, but most of it isn’t very good.

    We wade through our email boxes like we sort our mail over the trashcan. Delete, delete, delete. Why? Because it’s either not relevant or it’s boring. Usually both.

    I feel that email has the greatest potential of all the online marketing strategies because it’s both relatively easy and the most proactive marketing medium of all. Your message goes right into the mailbox of your potential client. Nothing else can do that.

    Marketing email holds great opportunities for improvement in several areas:

    1. How to incorporate humor as the most powerful attention-getting device in existence (that almost nobody is using).

    2. How to telegraph your value proposition straight to the minds and hearts of your prospect.

    3. How to make your emails clear, focused, and easy-to-read.

    4. How to craft a compelling call-to-action that is hard to resist.

    5. How to get emails to thousands of your prospects without looking like spam.

    If you’re not working on ALL of these, your emails will not get the attention and response you want.

    Best Example: Therapy Practice Accelerator. Visit this site and get on the list just to see the brilliance of the email marketing. It’s all about demonstrating results.

    What marketing strategies will you choose?

    Take the four marketing quadrants into consideration. The easier a marketing activity, the more likely you’ll actually do it. And the more proactive a marketing activity, the faster the response you’ll get.

    Cheers, Robert

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    Source by Robert Middleton

    Views: 0

  • Role of Alternative Medicine in Modern Society

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    Typically, alternative medicine differs from traditional medicine in that alternative medicine is older and what we might call unconventional or non-Western medicine. Alternative medicine does not follow the traditional science and research that current medicines undergo. Alternative medicine could also be termed complementary or traditional medicine or the therapies that can be integrated into current medicine. The staff of the National Library of Medicine of the United States classified alternative medicine under the category of complementary therapies in their Medical Subjects Heading Section. This was done in the year 2002. The definition provided was that alternative medicine therapeutic practices were not considered as an integral part of the traditional allopathic medicine. Therapies like acupuncture, dieting, physical therapy like exercises or yoga, etc. are termed as alternative medicine. These therapies are called complementary when they are used along with conventional treatments. If they are done in place of conventional treatments, they are known as alternative treatments.

    In April 1995, the panel of National Institutes of Health, Bethesda, Maryland, worked on Definition & Description, CAM Research Methodology Conference, Office of Alternative Medicine. The panel defined alternative medicine and complementary medicine as those healing resources that encompass all health systems and practices that are different from the dominant health system of a particular society or culture. Usually, therapies like ayurveda, herbal medicine, folk medicine, homeopathy, acupuncture, naturopathy, diet practices, chiropractic, music therapy, massage, pranic healing, etc. are classified as alternative or complementary medicine. People who do not find a cure, remedy or success in allopathic medicine generally try alternative medicine. Such people generally suffer from cancer, arthritis, acquired immuno deficiency syndrome (AIDS), chronic back pain, etc. Therapies included under alternative medicine would cease to be included in that category once their efficacy is proven and they are considered safe and effective. They are then considered as part of traditional medicine. An example would be chiropractors. Twenty years ago insurance would not pay for them as they were considered “alternative and ineffective.” Today thousands of people have been helped by chiropractors and they are now recognized in the medical community. A similar movement is underway in the nutritional supplement and nutraceutical industry.

    Over the years, more and more people have been using alternative medicine because traditional medicine is not working for them. The 2004 survey by the National Center for Complementary & Alternative Medicine of the United States revealed that approximately 36% of Americans used alternative medicine in 2002. If alternative medicine is used in conjunction with traditional allopathic medicine, an integrative doctor is a person’s best option. Some traditional doctors are adamantly against or simply do not believe in complementary medicine, even though research continues to show the benefits of many compounds. Your doctor should be informed about other approaches you may be using and if they are not comfortable with that then always feel free to choose another doctor. This would enable the doctor to foresee any possible complications or a better time in which to use a complementary therapy. The concern in using alternative medicine stems from the fact that some practitioners of alternative medicine do not have an accredited medical degree and therefore do not have a valid medical license. However, in recent times, many educational institutions and universities have started offering courses in homeopathy, ayurveda, siddha, unani, acupuncture, and naturopathy. The recent growth in this industry is evident by the many people demanding different, and in some cases better, care than what they are receiving in “modern medicine.” They are no longer accepting the fact that they need to suffer with pain or illness because modern pharmacy does not have a magic bullet for them.

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    Source by Darren Dunner

    Views: 0