Tag: Childhoods

  • Emotional Self: Do Some People's Childhoods Set Them Up Disconnect From Their Emotional Self?

    Emotional Self: Do Some People's Childhoods Set Them Up Disconnect From Their Emotional Self?

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    Although human beings are made up of many different selves, such as an intellectual and an emotional self, it doesn't mean that everyone on this planet is in touch with each of these selves. If someone is in touch with each part of themselves, it could be said that they will be operating as a whole human being.

    One will be able to think clearly and they will be in touch with their feelings. Through being this way, it will be possible for them to not only perform a certain job well, they will also be able to form deeper connections with others.

    One Benefit

    This is because their emotional self will be what allows them to truly connect with others, whereas their intellectual self alone is not going to allow this to take place. Furthermore, their emotional self will also provide them with guidance.

    So, when it comes to whether or not they should do something or if they should say yes or no, for instance, this part of them will give them the information that they need. This part of them will tell them what their needs are.

    It Doesn't Stop

    One way of looking at this would be to say that their emotional self is their inner guidance system. No matter what time of the day it is or where they are, this part of them will always be there.

    To live a fulfilling life, it will be essential for them to listen to this part of them and to utilize the information that it provides. Going against this part of them is only going to cause them to suffer unnecessarily.

    Off Track

    If one was to look back on their life, they may see that there have been times when they have ignored this part of themselves. Consequently, it might not have been long until they paid the price.

    Then again, there may have been a time in their life when this was just how their life was, meaning that ignoring themselves was normal. They are then going to be only too familiar with what it is like to ignore this part of themselves.

    Inner Directed

    Being this way doesn't mean that one will completely overlook other people needs; what it means is that they won't be interested in living a life where they ignore their needs and are totally consumed with other people's needs. Putting their own needs to one side from time to time is going to be radically different to always doing this.

    Also, being connected to how they feel doesn't mean that they will constantly be expressing how they feel, either. They will realize that there is a time to express how they feel and a time to keep how they feel to themselves, containing what is taking place within them.

    Another Reality

    If someone isn't in touch with their emotional self, only having a connection to their intellectual self, they are not going to be operating as a whole human being. As a result of this, they probably won't have a very good connection with their body.

    There is then the chance that they won't have trouble thinking clearly, but that it will be a challenge for them to connect to how they feel and to know what their needs are. When they are at work they could be fine, yet when they are around others, it could be a different story.

    Unaware

    Due to being out of touch with their emotional self, their connections with others are unlikely to be very deep. And if they are in a relationship, their partner could often tell them that they are distant and even emotionally unavailable.

    Still, one could be out of touch with this part of themselves and not even realize it. There can then be moments when they feel empty, and they may see that they don't feel strongly connected to anyone, but it doesn't mean that they will look into what is going on.

    Enough is enough

    If someone like this was to get to the point where living in this way was too painful, no longer wanting to feel cut off from themselves, others or even numb, they could end up looking into what is going on. What they could find out is that the reason they are experiencing life in this way is because they have experienced trauma.

    Disconnecting from their body, along with their emotional self in the process, was a way for them to survive what happened to them. Thus, in the same way that they would leave an environment if it was dangerous, they left their body as it was too painful for them to inhabit it.

    In The Past

    This may relate to what they have been through as an adult or it could go back to what took place during their early years. If it goes back to their early years, there is the chance that they were abused and / or neglected.

    This would have been a time when they were not equipped to deal with a lot of pain, yet their whole system would have felt overwhelmed on a daily / weekly basis. The only way for them to handle this pain would have been to leave their body.

    Awareness

    What kept them alive as a child is now going to be making their life harder than it needs to be. Even so, this is not to say that one should try to dive into their body and to deal with the pain that is there.

    For one thing, this approach could end up overwhelming them, but, as they have been out of touch with their body for so many years, it is highly unlikely that they will just be able to get back in there. Getting back in touch with this part of them can take a little while, irrespective of how committed they are.

    If one can relate to this, and they want to become an integrated human being, they will probably need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

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    Source by Oliver JR Cooper

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  • Emotionally Weak: Do Some Peoples Childhoods Set Them Up To Be Emotionally Weak?

    Emotionally Weak: Do Some Peoples Childhoods Set Them Up To Be Emotionally Weak?

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    It could be said that someone’s life would be a lot easier if they were unable to experience emotions. The primary reason for this is that they would no longer experience emotional pain.

    As a result of this, they would never feel sad, powerless, helpless, or hopeless, and fear and anxiety would no longer bother them either. This would allow them to lead a more centred life.

    The Downside

    Living in this way wouldn’t come without its problems, though, as one would most likely lead a life that lacks depth. They would live an empty existence, due to the part of themselves that provides meaning and a sense of wholeness being offline.

    Not only does this part of them provide meaning, it is also what allows them to feel connected to others and the planet. Therefore, while experiencing emotions will be hard for them at times, it would be far worse is they were not able to experience them.

    Hard To Accept

    However, although this is the case, it doesn’t mean that everyone will be able to accept this. If someone experiences a lot of emotional pain, for instance, they may believe that their life would be better if they could no longer feel.

    Yet, given what they often go through, it is not exactly going to be a surprise for them to have this outlook. Their life is not going to be very enjoyable; it could seem as if they are being punished.

    No Stability

    And even when they are not in a lot of emotional pain, they could wonder how long it will be until they are. Before long, something could take place that will completely change their inner world.

    This could take place after another person has said something negative about them or tried to walk over them. Something else that could cause them to come crashing down is a break up or an argument.

    All Over the Place

    It will be clear that it will be more or less impossible for one to handle how they feel. Instead of their emotional self being another part of their being, it will be a part of them that has the tendency to take over their whole being.

    If they were able to contain their feelings and they didn’t take over, their life would be very different. One wouldn’t be a small boat that is tossed around by every wave; they would be a big ship that has the ability handle most waves.

    One Approach

    If one was able to step back and came to the conclusion that they need to do something about their life, they might end up looking for a book to read. Conversely, they could look online for answers.

    What they may learn is that they to develop the ability to manage their thoughts, with this being the reason why their feelings are often out of control. Once they can do this, they will become emotionally strong.

    Support

    Being mindful of what thoughts they entertain, and what thoughts they think, will allow them to have different feelings. The positive feelings that they end up having can give them the strength that they need to feel strong and to achieve their goals.

    Said another way, ones emotional body will be working with their mind as opposed to against it. After putting these steps into practice for a little while, they may find that their life starts to change.

    An Unexpected Outcome

    Then again, one could find that focusing on what is taking place in their head doesn’t have much of an effect on them. Now, this could be a sign that they need to hang in there and to keep going until it works.

    At the same time, it could show that they need to try a completely different approach. There is the chance that one’s emotional body is carrying a lot of emotional pain and this is then why they find it hard to handle their emotions.

    A Missing Ability

    If they are carrying a lot of emotional pain, it could also show that they didn’t receive the type of care that they needed in order to develop the ability to regulate their own emotions. Perhaps their early years were a time when they were abused and/or neglected.

    What should have been a time when they were built up would have been a time when they were traumatised on a regular basis. This would have caused them to suffer as a child and it will still be causing them to suffer as an adult.

    A Totally Different Approach

    The emotional pain that has stayed trapped in their body will most likely need to be worked through. This can involve facing how they feel and feeling their feelings to their completion.

    To do this, one will most likely need to reach out for external support. The reason for this is that these feelings will be too much for them to handle and this will have stopped them from being able to consciously work through them.

    Awareness

    A therapist or a healer, for instance, can provide the presence that one needs so that they can go where they wouldn’t by themselves. This person will be like the scaffolding that is needed while a building is being strengthened.

    The main thing will be for them to reach out for assistance and to keep going no matter what. As for how long this process will take, how long is a piece of string?

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    Source by Oliver JR Cooper

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