Tag: Changing

  • Spinoza’s Ethics of Strength of the Emotions in W Somerset Maughm’s Of Human Bondage

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    The writer probes on the complex world of W. Somerset Maughm’s protagonist in the novel Of Human Bondage, using the propositions the Jewish Portuguese philosopher Baruch Spinoza postulated in his book Ethics in 1674. Some of Spinoza’s propositions are as follows( Morgan, 2006, pp 108-120):

    The following propositions of Spinoza enlighten the changing character of Philip in his own bildungsromans of his life. The force and increase of any passive emotion and its persistence in existing is defined not by the power whereby we ourselves endeavour to persist in existing, but by the power of external causes compared with our own power;

    The force of any passive emotion can surpass the rest of man’s activities or power so that the emotion stays firmly fixed in him;

    An emotion cannot be checked or destroyed except by a contrary emotion which is stronger than the emotion which is to be checked;

    Knowledge of good and evil is nothing other than the emotion of pleasure or pain insofar as we are conscious of it;

    An emotion whose cause we think to be with us in the present is stronger than it would be if we did not think the said cause to be with us;

    We are affected toward a future thing which we imagine to be imminent mo intensely than if we were to imagine its time of existence tofarther away from the present. We are also affected by a remembrance of a thing we imagine to belong to the near past more intensely if we were to imagine it to belong to the distant past;

    An emotion toward a thing which we think of as inevitable [necessarius] is more intense, other things being equal, than emotion toward a thing possible or contingent, that is, not inevitable;

    Emotion toward a thing which we know not exist in the present, and which we imagine to be possible, is, other things being equal, more intense than emotion toward a contingent thing;

    Emotion toward a contingent thing which we know not to exist in the present, is, other things being equal, feebler than emotion toward a thing past;

    No emotion can be checked by the true knowledge of good and evil, insofar as it is true, but only insofar as it is;

    Desire that arises from the true knowledge of good and evil can be extinguished or checked by many other desires that arise from the emotions by which we are assailed;

    The desires that arises from a knowledge of good and evil insofar as this knowledge has regard to to the future can be the more easily checked or extinguished by desire of things that are attractive in the present;

    Desire that arises from the true knowledge of good and evil insofar as this knowledge is concerned with contingent things can be even more easily checked by desire for things which are present;

    Desire arising from pleasure is, other things being equal, stronger than desire arising from pain;

    Every man, from the laws of his nature, necessarily seeks or avoids what he judges to be good or evil.

    The more every man endeavours and is able to seek advantage, that is, to preserve his own being, the more he is endowed with virtue. On the other hand insofar as he neglects to preserve what is to his advantage, that is, his own being to that extent he is weak.

    Philip is highly affected by nature. There is in Nature no individual thing that is surpassed in strength and power by some other thing. Whatsoever thing there is, there is another more powerful by which the said thing can be destroyed. And he was able to surpass all his problems because of the incoming different emotions, problems which proved to make him stronger if not released from “Human Bondage”.

    The force whereby a man persist in existing is limited, and infinitely surpassed by the power of external causes.

    Philip’s deformity limits his own persistence to live. But his meeting with Hayward, Clutton and Lawson, his former classmates in France, who taught him that life is all about passion and the pursuit of it, he became engross in his art. France did not also care about his clubfoot. Cronshaw taught him more philosophy in life about living in let live. Cronshaw even on his death bed, defied doctors’ prohibition. His life is anyway to end just like any other’s lives.

    Set in Kent, England, a sub-urban near London, the novel presents the multifaceted personal, social, political and religious experiences of Philip carey from his childhood to his middle age of thirty. A bildungsroman (1991, Smiley) in style, which highlights the formation of a youngman’s character through education, travels and early life experiences. Philip at the age of nine, as a young boy, is set apart from his peers by some misfortune and undergoes a humiliating experience that later proves strengthening. his first experience of love is unsuccessful or problematic one that nevertheless paves the way to a happy marriage with a suitable mate. The novel has ample observation, if not criticism, with the character’s institutions such as schools, churches and class structures.

    Philip’s personal life is truly an amalgam of life’s tragedies. But how he surpassed the seemingly insurmountable heap of oppressing weight, if not the meaninglessness or nothingness of life, is the focus of this attempt anchored on Spinoza’s propositions. To enumerate, at an early age, his mother died of tuberculosis and his father, a medical doctor, died of lung cancer. His innocence never understood the situation. He has only the temporary joy of travelling to Blackstable to live with his uncle William and childless Auntie Louisa. Forcibly liking his second family as an orphan, he is left reading his books without noise for his uncle, a Vicar in the community, is irated with children’s unruly behaviour. Aunt Louisa is incapable of understanding Philip. he is left with the care of the governess. His personal disability or deformity, being born with a club-foot, proves to be the stigma of his life forever. His early education in Kingston School, caused his early childhood bitter as his peers laughed at him, mocked and physically abused him because of his physical abnormality. Then, his adolescence which brings him to Heidelberg, Germany to study foreign languages, is never sweet. Girls chided him for his deformity. the consolation is meeting friends like Hayward and Miss Wilkinson, who flirted with him, to his disgust. His sojourn to France, albeit, his uncle’s disappointment, proves to be annihilating. His lack of talent in painting plus his deformity, made him a mediocre student. His classmate Fanny Price, who fell in love with him, on the pretext of sharing the same abnormality (hers is lack of beauty), committed suicide out of hunger and wretchedness.

    Then everything escalated to its height, when realizing that painting is not his passion, he goes back to England. He decides to change again to pursue what his uncle William tells him to do: to follow the footsteps of his father. To be a doctor. feeling he has nothing to do, he embraces the new idea. Sauntering along the Parliamentary Street of London, he is driven to dine in a cafe where he meets the slatternly waitress Mildred Rogers who awakens his sexual desire. But his languid mien, caused by his club-foot proves to be a disadvantage. the waitress prefers rugged and rich men. But his desire to pursue the pale, anaemic, aloof Mildred, beomes a challenge to him. Gradually, the two becomeclose. But the ambitious and materialistic waitress always insults him because of his deformity. to slander him cripple, would totally “cripple” his mood and emotion. Even when Philip is generous to the moody Mildred, she hurt him by marrying a German businessman Miller. His desperation is tantamount to his yearning for Mildred. He is left believing that one day, he would see Mildred again. His concentration with his medical study is forlorned. And Mildred came back,looking sickly, with a child. His generosity and forgiveness for his first love, who hurts him the most, is even greater than life. The ingrate waitress after a little recovery from poverty, elopes with Griffith, Philip’s handsome and robust classmate. That is the height of Mildred’s shamelessness. So her expected return is welcomed with derision by the newly awakened Philip. Even when Mildred turns into a prostitute, Philip is only capable of compassion, without passion or sexual desire. She is freed at last. And Philip is extricated from the pains excruciatingly caused by the destitute Mildred.

    His obsession to Mildred costs Philip his fortune and gradually his savings is left with seven pounds. He is forced to stop from his medical studies that brings him to experience unbelievable poverty. He meets the generous Athelneys who fed and sheltered him in his misery. His uncle’s death, leaving an average fortune, helps him to finish his medical studies. His fateful shelter with the Athelneys brings him to his final, harmonious and peaceful resolution to marry Sally Athelney and go on with his life beautifully. Shakespeare is affirmed by saying that “all is well that ends well.

    At this juncture, it is noteworthy to enumerate Spinoza’s propositions to elucidate Philip’s “bondage” and his strength of his emotion. Spinoza in his preface to his philosophical treatise wrote:

    I assign the term “bondage” to man’s lack of power to control and check the emotions. For a man at the mercy of his emotions is not his own master but is subject to fortune, in whose power he so lies that he is often compelled, although he sees the better course, to pursue the worse. In this Part I have set myself the task of demonstrating why is so, and also what is good and what is bad in emotions. But before I begin, I should like to make a few preliminary observations on perfection and imperfection, and on good and bad ( Morgan, 2006).

    In the beginning, Philip is a slave if not a victim of his emotion. His physical deformity, his club-foot, caused him too much pain. He learned to hate his classmates and,worst, abandoned his belief in God. He could not appreciate the God of his uncle vicar when God cannot give him the miracle he wanted to have normal feet. His painful childhood in school changed him to be rough character. He never wanted to become a vicar anymore. His obsession to Mildred indeed showed his real weakness as a man, and even wretchedness as a human being because of his deformity. he would always think that women cannot love him as he is because of his deformity.

    He who has undertaken something and has brought it to completion will say that the thing is completed; and not only he but everyone who rightly knew, or thought he knew, the intention and aim of the author of that work. For example, if anyone sees a work (which I assumed is not yet finished) and knows that the aim of author is to build a house, he will say the house is imperfect. On the other hand, as soon as he sees that the work has been brought to the conclusion that its author had intended to give it, he will say that the house is perfect. But if anyone sees a work whose like he had never seen before, and he does not know the artifecer’s intention, he cannot possibly know whether the work is perfect or imperfect.

    This appears to have been the original meaning of these terms. But when men began to form general ideas and to devise ideal type of houses, buildings, towers, and so on, and to prefer some models to others, it came about that each called “perfect” that which he saw at variance with his own preconceived ideal, although in the artifecer’s opinion it had been fully completed. There seems to be no other reason why even natural phenomena (those not made by human hand) should commonly be called perfect or imperfect. For men there are wont to form general ideas both natural phenomena and artifacts, and these ideas they regard as models, and they believed that Nature (which they consider does nothing without an end in view) looks to this ideas and holds them before herself as models. So when they see something occurring in Nature at variance with their preconceived ideal of the thing in question, they believed that Nature has then failed or blundered and has left that thing imperfect from their own preconceptions rather than from true knowledge.

    So perfection and imperfection are in reality only models of thinking, notions which we are wont to invent from comparing individuals of the same species or kind; and it is for this reason that I previously said (Def. 6, II) that by reality and perfection I mean the same thing. For we are wont to classify all the individuals in Nature under one genus which is called the highest genus, namely, the notion of Entity, which pertains to all the individuals in Nature without exception. Therefore insofar as we classify individuals in Nature under this genus and compare them with one another and find that some have more being or reality than others, to that extent we say that some are more perfect than the others. And insofar as we attribute to them something involving negotiation, such as limit, end, impotence and so on, to that extent we call them imperfect because they do not affect our minds as much as those we call perfect, and not because they lack something of anything except that which follows from the necessity of nature of its efficient cause; and whatever follows from the necessity of the nature of its efficient cause must be necessarily be so.

    To be a master of his emotion is to attain perfection. It may not be physical but spiritual, mental and emotional. His challenges may have hardened him but enlightened him to loosen up and later, embrace the beauty of life. The unattainable perfection, was answered, through his friend Cronshaw, a poet whom he met in France, that the meaning of life cannot be answered unless one lives it. he realized that men are born, study, work, marry, have children and die is the most beautiful pattern that the Persian rug edifies.

    As for the terms “good” and “bad,” they likewise indicate nothing positive in things considered in themselves, and nothing but models of thinking, or notions which we form from comparing things with one another. For one and the same thing can at the same time be good and bad, and also indifferent. For example, music is good for one who is melancholy, bad for one in mourning, and neither good or bad for the deaf. However, although this is so, these terms ought to be retained. For since we desire to form the idea of man which we may look to as model of human nature, we shall find it useful to keep these terms in the sense I have indicated. So in what follows I shall mean by “good” that which we certainly know to be the means for our approaching nearer to the model of human nature that we set before ourselves, and by “bad” that which we certainly know prevents us from reproducing the said model. For it is important to note that when I say somebody passes from a state of less perfection, to a state of greater perfection, and vice versa, I do not mean that he changes from one essence or to form to another (for example, a horse is as completely destroyed if it changes into a man as it would be if it were to change into an insect), but that we conceive his power of activity, insofar as this is understood through his nature, to be increased or diminished.

    Philip may have been both good and bad due to circumstances. he was good in the Blackstable with his Auntie Louisa and Uncle William. he became bad in school because his classmates taunted him because of his clubfoot. In Heidelberg, he is good to all the people even if he did not understand their silence and even their insolence. In France, was forced to become bad, to protect himself from the looming abuses of other foreigners. The death of an anti-social fanny Price, showed him to be the only compassionate painting student.

    Hence, after a series of Philip’s tragedy, his experiences, his meeting with different people, his education, his travel to Heidelberg, to Paris and to London, his affluence and reversal of his fortune to poverty taught him greatest lessons in life. That life can be beautiful if man knows to master his emotion, moderate his desire and be reasonable in every decision. A man is finally freed from the chains and cufflinks ” Of Human Bondage”.

    References:

    Maughm, Somerset W. (1991). Of Human Bondage.

    Canada: Bantam Book Doubleday.

    Morgan, Michael (ed.). (2006). The Essential Spinoza: Ethics And Related Writings.

    Cambridge: Hackett Publishing, Inc.

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    Source by Wilfredo M. Valois

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  • The Four Horsemen of Marital Apocalypse

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    Stop to consider your last fight with your spouse. The exact subject may escape you at the moment. We understand. After a while, the spats – over bills, your job, in-laws or the dishes still in the sink – can all blur together. But contrary to popular belief, it’s not the amount of conflict in your marriage or what you argue about that determines your relationship’s survival rate. to marriage researchers, how a couple fights tends to be the best predicator of whether they’ll end up enjoying their golden years together or battling it out in divorce court. So learning to fight less may not be quite as important as learning to fight fair.

    Four Deadly Sins of Marriage

    Dr. John Gottman of University of Washington, one of the foremost marriage researchers, claims he can predict with 90 percent accuracy if a couple will divorce. In his storied “love lab,” Gottman studies how couples interact, particularly how they communicate with each other in heated moments. After 30 years of research, he has pinpointed four behaviors that seem to invariably spell disaster in any marriage. He ominously refers to them as “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.” Every couple needs to be vigilant and ensure none of the four gallop into their marriage and wreak irreversible havoc.

    Horseman #1: Criticism

    The most common horseman that emerges in long-term relationships is criticism. Frustrations, annoyances and resentment inevitably build up when couples live together – day in and day out. And criticism can be how these emotions manifest in the heat of an argument.

    Note that criticism differs from complaining. Criticism focuses on the person. Complaining focuses on the behavior. This may seem like subtle nuance but research shows it is a distinction that makes a significant difference in the long term. For example, this is a critical statement: “You always drive around in circles. You are an awful driver with a terrible sense of direction.” These words are dripping with blame and accusation. They are a personal attack.

    Unlike criticism, complaining has more to do with how the other person’s behavior makes you feel. Complaining usually begins with an “I” instead of “you”: “I get so frustrated when you are driving and don’t know where you are going.” See the difference? The second statement is a negative comment about something you wish were otherwise. So though “I” statements can seem awkward, they really help keep the carnage manageable during explosive moments.

    Horseman #2: Contempt

    You’re an idiot. You can’t do anything right. You make me sick. These contemptuous words have no place in any relationship you value. They are meant to explicitly humiliate or wound. They are toxic and indefensible. Period.

    Contempt includes but is not limited to name-calling, hostility and sarcasm. Keep in mind that contempt can also be conveyed non-verbally. An excessively harsh tone or disgusted eye roll can escalate your garden-variety argument into WWIII in the blink of an eye. Avoid contempt in your arguments at all cost. It is the basest, most childish tactic to resort to in a fight. Strive to respect your wife even when you disagree or feel upset with her. Contempt is like a poison. It will single-handedly erode intimacy. It destroys a sense of security and mutual respect. It does real damage because it makes a partner feel belittled and unloved.

    Horseman #3: Defensiveness

    Criticism+Contempt=Defensiveness. Defensive statements become practically an involuntary reflex in homes where contempt and criticism are regular visitors. It is understandable. After all, who wouldn’t put up their guard in response to an accusatory, belittling spouse? Defensiveness is fundamentally a self-preserving tactic.

    As understandable as this response can be, it is still hugely destructive. It builds walls. Rather than allow room for connectedness, the foundation for conflict resolution, it tends to breed emotional distance. Defensiveness blocks healing and forgiveness.

    Horseman #4: Stonewalling

    Because stonewalling is not explicitly aggressive, couples often underestimate its destructive potential. But it can be just as devastating to a relationship in its passiveness. It is, in effect, giving up. It is withdrawing emotionally. It is essentially closing the door to a resolution.

    Stonewallers withdraw partly because they can feel overwhelmed with emotion. They may keep their faces expressionless, avoid eye contact, hold their posture rigid, avoid any signs of listening such as nodding or encouraging sounds. They radiate icy distance and disapproval to their partners.

    The Secret to Fighting Fair

    Now that you know the four horsemen, make a conscious effort to keep them in the stable before they trample your marriage. One of the best ways to do this is to make “repair attempts” during your next argument. According to Gottman, repair attempts are any words or actions that prevent a conflict from escalating out of control. As simple as it sounds, repair attempts keep a marriage from becoming negative, hostile and distant.

    Repair attempts can be as basic as changing the topic, giving a compliment, apologizing or saying, “I’ve been cranky all day, can we start over?” It can be as simple as saying, “Don’t worry, we’ll get through this” or cracking a joke to diffuse tension. Research even shows couples who touch during arguments also tend to show higher relationship satisfaction. Do whatever works for you when conflict rears its ugly head.

    Remember, the more entrenched the negative patterns of behavior in your marriage become, the more difficult it becomes to break them. Don’t become a victim of these negative cycles. When two mature people can take ownership and be flexible, they will keep their marriage strong even though they may not always agree. As a Scottish proverb says, “Better bend than break.”

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    Source by Grant Langston

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  • Manifesting Better Finances Through Subliminals Audios

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    When we are at the point in life where we need to ensure our money and finances are doing alright, some people might be discomforted to see and realize that their money situations might need some help.

    This is about changing our minds and brains to help us act and think differently. We know that we might need a better financial situation and subliminals can help us by gradually changing our thoughts to encourage better money related habits.

    Somehow too much of society started accepting and practicing inefficient and poor money habits that literally brought their finances down to very low point.

    It is clear that a lot of people want to change their finances for the better, but it is not clear how this might be achieved over time and that is where subliminal usage comes in.

    We just have to accept that very particular subliminal audios can be used to change and shift our thoughts into something far more desirable. They can hone our mental and emotional focus so that our lives change for the better both in the short term and in the months and years to come.

    Consistent listening is required to reap the greatest rewards from subliminals, but that is one of the new positive habits that the audios can help us achieve. As you listen more your brain and life start to reflect very deep and dynamic changes over time, and that is why these audios are so powerful.

    Some might be hesitant and almost doubtful that such deep and drastic change can come from listening to subliminals, but this is about using the audios and they have to be listened to in order to gain their benefits.

    That is why a lot of people stay stuck and idle in their money lives because they do not change their habits over time, and they do not do anything that can immediately alter and shift their mental and physical habits in a very short period of time.

    Subliminals can be used to enact very powerful and deep change, but the consistent listening part is where a lot of people fall away and that is simply not a problem when you consider how immensely powerful they can be on our lives.

    The only drawback is that you need to keep listening in order to gain the higher benefits and advantages that the audios can bring you, and for most of us that isn’t much of a problem considering how deeply our lives and finances will change over the coming weeks and months.

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    Source by Donald B. Johnson

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  • Who Will Become Wealthy in the Information Age?

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    As you know, we’re now well and truly in the
    Information Age. It began about 10 years ago. In fact,
    many economists say it began in 1989, with the Fall of
    the Berlin Wall (and the start of the World Wide Web).

    To understand who will become wealthy in the
    Information Age, first we need to understand how the
    Information Age differs from the Industrial Age (born
    about 1860, died about 1989).

    In fact, let’s get a complete overview and go back to
    the Agrarian Age.

    In the Agrarian Age, society was basically divided
    into two classes: the landowners and the people who
    worked on the land (the serfs). If you were a serf,
    there wasn’t much you could do about it:
    land-ownership passed down through families and you
    were stuck with the status you were born into.

    When the Industrial Age arrived, everything changed:
    it was no longer agriculture that generated most of
    the wealth, but manufacturing. Suddenly, land was no
    longer the key to wealth. A factory occupied far less
    land than a sheep farm or a wheat farm.

    With the Industrial Age came a new kind of wealthy
    person: the self-made businessman. Wealth no longer
    depended on land-ownership and the family you were
    born into. Business acumen and factories were creating
    a new class of wealthy person. But it still required
    enormous capital to build a factory and start a
    business.

    Then came the World Wide Web (in about 1989) and
    globalization. Suddenly, everything changed again.

    Factories (or real estate) were no longer necessary to
    run a business. Anyone with a website could start a
    business. The barriers to wealth that existed in the
    Agrarian Age and the Industrial Age were completely
    gone. People who could never have dreamed of owning
    their own business were making millions from their
    kitchen table.

    Of course, the Information Revolution didn’t begin
    in 1989.

    It began in 1444 when Gutenberg invented the printing
    press in Mainz, Germany.

    But the printing press (newspapers, magazines,
    paperbacks) belonged to the Industrial Age, not the
    Information Age.

    The printing press is a ‘one-to-many’ technology. The
    Internet is a ‘many-to-many’ technology. And that was
    what changed in 1989.

    The Industrial Age was about centralization and
    control. The Information Age is about
    de-centralization and no control. No government and no
    media magnate controls the Internet. This is the
    crucial thing to understand about the Information Age.

    As we moved from the Agrarian Age through the
    Industrial Age to the Information Age, there’s been a
    steady collapse of the barriers that kept one section of
    society wealthy and the other section poor.

    In the Information Age, literally anyone can become
    wealthy.

    So now that we have a clearer picture of how the
    Information Age differs from the Industrial Age, let’s
    ask that question again: ‘Who will become wealthy in
    the Information Age?’:

    (1) People Who are Self-Taught

    To explain this better, let’s go back to the Agrarian
    Age and the Industrial Age, and the Transmission of
    Skills.

    In the Agrarian Age, skills were passed on from father
    to son. If you wanted to learn how to be a blacksmith
    you had to be a blacksmith’s son. If you wanted to
    learn to be a stone-mason, you had to be the son of a
    stone-mason.

    With the coming of the Industrial Age, all this
    changed. You could go to University and learn whatever
    skills you wanted. Knowledge was freely available.

    But in the Information Age, the Transmission of Skills
    is changing once again.

    The skills necessary to succeed in the Information Age
    are not being learnt from our parents (as in the
    Agrarian Age), nor are they being learnt in schools
    and colleges (as in the Industrial Age). Children are
    teaching their parents computer skills. And many of
    the entrepreneurs who start hi-tech Internet companies
    have never been to college.

    The millionaires (and billionaires) of tomorrow
    probably won’t have a college education. They will be
    high-school drop-outs, self-taught people.

    (2) People with New Ideas.

    Again, it’s the people who are able to think outside
    of the existing structures who will become wealthy in
    the Information Age. Often, it’s just a Simple Idea
    that launches people to success in the Information
    Age.

    Take Sabhir Bhatia, for example – the man who invented
    Hotmail. Bhatia was a computer engineer working in
    Silicon Valley. He had no previous business
    experience, whatsoever.

    But one day, while he was driving back from work, a
    friend called him on his cell phone and said that he
    had an idea: What about starting a free, web-based
    email service? Bhatia knew this was the idea he’d been
    waiting for. He told his friend to hang up immediately
    and ring him at home on a secure line.

    Three years later he sold Hotmail to Microsoft for
    $400 million.

    (3) Writers

    The third group who will become wealthy in the
    Information Age are Writers.

    In the Industrial Age, Writers depended on large
    publishing Houses to get published (remember that the
    printing press is an Industrial Age technology – it is
    centralized and controlled). And the Publishing Houses
    took the lion’s share of the profits.

    In the Information Age, Writers are doing their own
    publishing – and keeping most of the profits
    themselves. Indeed, Writers are flourishing on the
    Web – mainly through eBooks and Ezine Articles.
    But even if you don’t write eBooks or Ezine Articles,
    if you own a website, you are a Writer.

    Why?

    Because the Internet is basically a written medium. It
    favors writers, people who are able to communicate
    effectively through the written word. Remember, it’s
    not the graphics on your website that sell, it’s the
    words you use.

    In the Information Age, we’re all Writers!

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  • He Hasn’t Said I Love You Yet? What This Really Means for Your Relationship

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    There’s a very special moment in every romantic relationship that a woman holds her breath for. It’s when your man tells you he loves you. Ideally, he’ll say it first and it will happen in a wonderful, memorable place. You’ll remember everything about the second those fateful words left his lips. The shirt he was wearing, how his hair was styled and what his cologne smelled like will all become important nuances of the moment when you both knew that you were going to be life partners. It all sounds so dreamy and ideal, doesn’t it? From experience, most of us know that it typically doesn’t go that way. He’ll usually blurt out the words at the most inopportune time like when we’re stopped at a red light or during a football game. Regardless of the circumstances of the delivery, the words are still meaningful and relationship changing. Sadly, not all men reach a point where they feel comfortable sharing those words. If it’s now been months or even years and he hasn’t said I love you yet, what exactly does that mean for you and your future with him?

    Never Forget How Different You and Your Man Are

    I’ve often heard women say that they wish men were more like them. In some ways, that would be wonderful, but essentially we love men because they are men. Your man doesn’t process his feelings the same way you do. If he falls in love with you at first sight, chances are very good that he’s not going to share that news with you until months into the relationship. The same is true of the man who falls in love with his woman at a slow pace. He’s not going to give you updates about what he’s feeling. Men just aren’t wired that way.

    Sharing deep and meaningful feelings to a man makes him feel emotionally vulnerable. It’s very much like he’s taking the armor off his heart and he’s putting himself in the line of fire. If you don’t react favorably to his declaration of adoration or if you say something hurtful, it will pain him in a way that nothing else could. A man needs to feel very secure in his relationship before he’ll be ready to blurt out that he loves you.

    Pay Close Attention to His Actions Rather Than His Words

    So much can be gained from really paying close attention to how your man acts when he’s around you. There are certain behavior patterns that sync with a man who is truly and madly in love. You may believe that he’s not in love unless he says the words, but don’t discount how he treats you. For a man who is struggling with opening himself up to the point where he does indeed feel very vulnerable, his actions can give you great insight into what is in his heart.

    A telling example is the man who rushes through his day so that he can spend as much time as possible with the woman he adores. Nothing matters quite as much to him as seeing her smiling face at the end of his workday. The same is true of the man who sends a few text messages or emails during the day. His mind is clearly on the woman he cares for. Any small gestures like this should be viewed for what they are and that’s a strong sign that his heart is focused on the woman in his life.

    See His Commitment to You as a Sign of What’s in His Heart

    If a man has stopped dating other women and his focus is always just on you, he’s smitten. Men are notorious for wanting to play the field. Once a man stops looking, thinking about and seeing other women you should take note of that. He may not have said that he loves you outright but the fact that he’s lost interest in other attractive women speaks volumes about how he views you.

    This is especially clear if he’s suggested that you don’t see other guys or that you two just date exclusively. If he does mention this, it obviously means that he wants you to himself and that generally has a lot more to do with a man’s heart than his ego.

    A man in love wants to draw a tight circle around the woman who is the center of his world. He doesn’t want the threat of any other men on the horizon and he doesn’t have eyes for any other women either. His focus is clear and he’ll ask you to focus on him too.

    Be Wary of a Man Who Doesn’t Seem Connected Emotionally to You

    As much as you want to hope that he does love you, even if he has yet to say it, you do need to be mindful of the fact that his reluctance to express it is based on the fact that he just doesn’t feel it. If you’ve told your boyfriend that you love him and you’re met with dead silence, or he changes the subject very quickly, it’s easy to jump to the assumption that he isn’t in love and just is very uncomfortable talking about the subject at all.

    Some men will work hard at avoiding any discussion about feelings. They’ll say things like, “I’m not ready for a serious relationship yet, ” or “love is overrated.” If your guy has expressed similar sentiments to you, you have every right to be discouraged by that. He’s telling you, in a very roundabout and non-compassionate way that he’s just not feeling the same things you are.

    It’s up to you to determine whether or not you want to continue to invest yourself in a relationship like this. Granted, over time his position may change and he may decide that he does indeed love you. Perhaps a bit of time apart, as in a short-term relationship “break” might help him see the light. There’s a chance it won’t though.

    Just remember that all men are different and even though some are quick to say those three meaningful words, other men just can’t fathom saying, “I love you,” to any woman unless they’re on the verge of proposing to her. It’s up to you to decipher your man’s actions and read between the limes to truly see what’s in his heart.

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    Source by Gillian Reynolds

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  • What’s the Best Way to Make Money at the Dog Track?

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    Success at the dog track is measured by how much money you make. It’s as simple as that. If you walk out with less money than you walked in with, you have a problem. If you walk out with more money than you walked in with, on a regular basis, you’re a winner. Of course, we all have our losing days, but you need more winning days than losing ones.

    So, what’s the best way to make sure that your bankroll grows rather than shrinks? While there are a lot of different ways to handicap greyhounds, I think that there’s only one way for most people to get to where they can make money at the track almost every time they go. You do it by starting small and building up to making bigger bets.

    Your instinct might be to make big, complicated bets – wheeling and keying dogs in trifectas and superfectas. Unless you have very deep pockets, phenomenal luck and fantastic handicapping skills, you’ll lose your shirt. Instead, here’s the best way to win money and keep more of it at the dog track.

    Start with win bets. Find the best dog in a race and bet it to win. Use a good handicapping system and don’t bet too many bets on a program. Betting every race is the quickest way I know to empty your pockets and get discouraged. However, DO handicap every race. Play the ones you’re surest of and just watch the rest and see if your pick wins.

    No one can pick a winner in every race, I don’t care how good they are at picking dogs. On a program with 10 races, the average beginner should bet no more than 3-4 dogs. Do that until you’re hitting enough so that you’re ahead on almost every program. It’s very important to keep good, written records of your picks. No changing your mind after the race because you would have picked a dog. Be honest with yourself and keep track of your wins.

    When you get to where you’re picking enough winners to make a profit on them on a regular basis, increase the amount of your win bets. That’s all there is to making a consistent profit at the track. Once you’ve mastered this, you can go on to quinielas, trifectas and even superfectas. But until you develop your handicapping skills, stick with small win bets on a few races. It’s very hard to do, but worth it in the long run.

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    Source by Eb Netr

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  • Shamanic or Reiki Healing

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    Shamanic or Reiki Treatment

    Both shamanism and Reiki are methods of healing. Shamanism has been around for at least 40,000 years and had a presence in most world cultures. The origin of the word shaman and shamanism has its own levels of disagreement. Reiki came on the scene in the 1920s.

    Like shamanism, Reiki has its share of inconsistent origin stories. According to William Rand, Mikao Usui, while at a retreat, received Reiki. The word reiki is a Japanese word for universal energy. He used it on his family, friends and passed it on to others. Because of his own background as a student of qigong, medicine, psychology, religion, and the art of divination, he added those skills to his practice. He passed the learning and techniques to others, particularly to former naval officer and medical doctor, Chujiro Hayashi. He made some modifications to accommodate his own style. He trained Mrs. Takata who then introduced the form of Reiki healing called Usui to the West.

    Does the fact that one predates the other make it a superior approach to healing? Personal experience dicates an unequivocal no!

    A comparison will help. Both call upon the universe for healing energy and both use supplication in their efforts to connect with universal energy. Both function as conduits for healing energy. Shamanism viewed many of mankind’s ills to be caused by the loss of spirit/soul; (Life energy) while the Reiki healer recognizes energy drain and incorrect energy flow.

    The shaman uses an altered state of consciousness to travel to another realm where he or she seeks a solution to a patient’s health or emotional issues. A Reiki Master does not travel or journey as it is sometimes called. The Reiki Master uses sacred or secret symbols, each containing its specific healing purpose. The shaman uses sacred objects to surround a patient; whereas, the Reiki may draw the sacred symbols on the patient using a finger to do so.

    A Reiki Master will use incense as does the shamanic healer. Generally, this is used for cleansing the area around a patient. Soft music is the choice of sound for the Reiki Master; a monotonous drum beat serves the shaman’s purpose of driving out evil spirits, altering the state of consciousness of the patient, or changing the direction of the energy flow.

    The Reiki Master uses his or her hands to change the energy flow of a patient. The hands are allowed to choose the place where the physical issue is located. With patient permission, the Reiki healer will physically touch the patient. During a Reiki healing session, the healer remains quiet; whereas, a shamanic healer may be chanting, have a flute played, and depending on the location, may dance around the patient.

    Thanks to Michael Harner, many of the world’s best shamanic practices have been transferred to Western culture. We now have shamanic practitioners. They are different from a traditional shaman in that they are trained for the specific purpose of healing; a traditional shaman has other duties to perform.

    If you are inclined to use an alternative healing approach, be sure you check the credentials of the practitioner, ask for references, and remember, you are the one who decides.

    Norman W. Wilson, PhD

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    Source by Norman W. Wilson, Ph.D

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  • How to Attract Wealth by Altering Your Invisible Field?

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    Wealth attraction means more than just inviting more money into your life. It means having fulfilling relationships, love, wealth, health, career and success. If you agree that money is not the only yardstick for wealth, and like to know how to attract wealth by altering your invisible field, you are in the right place.

    First, what is this invisible field? It is the aura that surrounds us. Most of us can’t see this glowing field, but certainly we can feel it.

    Think about this: Have you ever experienced someone standing quietly behind you? It might be your boss watching what you were doing, or a friend planning to give you a surprise. For whatever reason, you would have felt their presence unless you were overly engrossed in your task. The reason why you could feel it was because another invisible field impinged into yours. And that invisible field is the aura.

    Our aura is not only invisible, it is also magnetic. What you attract into your life first manifests in your aura, then in reality. Of course, the manifestation in the aura is not in term of events or objects. Instead, it shows in the shade, shape, condition and colors of the aura.

    Simply put, by changing your aura, you can attract abundance. So how to attract wealth by changing the aura? The 5 step formula for manifesting abundance are as follows:

    1) Create a Clear Picture of Your Desire – First is to be clear and concise on what you want. For simplicity, let’s say you want more money. Write down the amount. Start with what you expect to have 3, 6 and 12 months from now. Check your emotions when you put down the value. If you feel uneasy, adjust the amount till you feel manageable.

    Based on the amount you have written, see yourself celebrating and holding more money progressively.

    2) Get the Aura Tool for Wealth – The truth is you can use visualization to change your aura. But it is easier and faster with crystal. Why crystal? How does it work? The vibe of each type of crystal is unique, consistent and pure. Because of this special characteristic, each crystal has an aura of specific shade and color.

    By leveraging on these stones we can alter our aura to attract wealth. But how to attract wealth with crystal?

    Depending on your definition of wealth, first select a suitable crystal. But since we used money as the example earlier, let’s continue with it.

    For money, we will go with citrine. This stone is a renowned money magnet and mood lifter. Get a citrine crystal sphere of 2 inches or more – the bigger, the better.

    3) Preparing your Wealth Tool – You need to cleanse, charge and program it with the wealth images you have created in step 1.

    Soak the citrine in sea salt water overnight. Rinse with distilled or filtered water and sun it for about half hour. Next place the citrine on your left palm and visualize the images you have created earlier. During visualization, stay relaxed, happy and fulfilled.

    4) Wealth Meditation – In step 4 on how to attract wealth, meditate with the citrine. You can adopt the “sitting on char”, half lotus or full lotus posture. Hold your citrine in your left hand and firmly supported with the right below.

    Meditate for 30 minutes for 7 consecutive days. It will be better to do it for 49 days straight. During meditation, again visualize the created images to reinforce the wealth attraction power.

    5) Release the Feeling – At the end of the meditation, let go of the images and feelings. Place the citrine by the side of your bed and carry on your usual daily tasks.

    With the help of citrine, you have infused your aura with the right shade and colors for wealth attraction. Congratulation!

    Having learned how to attract wealth by changing your aura colors, you must be impressed with what crystals can do for you.

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    Source by Glen Lim

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  • Rare American Coins and Gobrecht Designed Silver Dollars

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    Congress suspended the production of silver dollars in 1804 and finally lifted it in 1831. No silver dollars were struck between 1804 and 1834, except when they were used as diplomatic presentation sets.

    In 1835 interest was growing to reinstate silver dollars as regular issue coins. Christian Gobrecht was invited to present designs of the new coinage. Many short lived varieties of Gobrecht’s design were created, because of changing sentiment for the silver dollar in the mid 1830’s, both by the public and Congress.

    Gobrecht patterned his new silver dollar based on designs from artists of the day. The obverse of Liberty Seated came from Thomas Sully and the reverse from Titian Peale’s eagle in flight.

    By the mid 1830’s when these coins were being designed, there were 26 states. Gobrecht original design called for 13 large stars and 13 small stars. That resulted in public criticism, because the 13 original states weren’t more important than the new entries.

    The early examples had Christian Gobrecht’s name displayed on the obverse in tiny letters above the date. This was the only time in US mint history when the full name of the designer was placed on a coin, although initials are commonly displayed somewhere.

    The dispute over the full name on the dollar coin delayed production until December 1836. Public objections were strong enough to bring about its omission in the 1838 issues.

    Basically, the 1836 & 1837 Gobrecht dollars had a plain edge with his name above the date in the rock base, with large and small stars on the reverse. The coins struck in 1839 had a reeded edge, no name in the rock base and no stars on the reverse.

    All Gobrecht dollars were struck in the Philadelphia Mint, and all the regular circulation coins of 1836 and 1837 have a proof finish, so the public could see the high quality of the new coins. This is unique in U.S. coinage, where coins intended for circulation were struck as proofs.

    The Gobrecht silver dollars minted in their various forms between 1836 and 1839 came in both pattern and regular issue coins. A total of 1900 coins were produced between 1836 and 1839 with 1600 dollars dated 1836, even though they were actually struck in 1836 and 1837. The other 300 were delivered in 1839.

    Only 1,000 of the 1600 examples were struck before the end of the year 1836. Authority for new Seated Liberty silver dollars was given by congress in 1834 with the Old Draped Bust, 416 grain weight standard of 1792, rather than the new standard of 412.5 grains of 1837.

    600 more 1836 silver dollars were minted in March of 1837 for public distribution at the new 412.5 grain weight. These coins are very close in weight, but can be differentiated from the first 1836 issue, because they had the obverse and reverse aligned in “medal” fashion, rather than the prior “coin” fashion.

    The 1838 silver dollar is a pattern coin only, with no regular issue struck. These coins are extremely rare, with fewer than 10 pieces in existence.

    In December 1839, 300 more silver dollars were produced and were the last dollars with the flying eagle reverse. The minting of Gobrecht’s Seated Liberty design silver dollars continued in 1840 with a Heraldic Eagle reverse from 1807, and stayed in use until 1873.

    There was little interest in numismatics prior to 1850, so very few of these coins were spared circulation. After 1850 however, numismatics started rising in popularity among Americans.

    The consumer demand was such that the US Mint started restriking earlier coins during the 1850s and 1860s. Mint director James Ross Snowden used Mint dies to create such numismatic anomalies as the Class II and Class III 1804 dollars, and Gobrecht dollar restrikes.

    The number of Gobrecht dollar restrikes is believed to exceed the original mintage figures. All original dollars dated 1836 will show the eagle flying “onward and upward,” while the restrikes made in the 1850’s and 60’s will have the eagle flying horizontally.

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    Source by Paul St. Julien

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