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  • The Single Sales Principle and The 8 Myths of Selling

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    The Single Sales Principle states that:

    ‘People buy when a compelling need is met by a credible solution that offers perceived value’.

    Simple. Too simple? Well, as Jim Collins claims in his book Good to Great, “Freud, Darwin and Einstein all had one thing in common. They took a complex world and simplified it.” And Single Principled Salespeople do just that. They understand that selling doesn’t have to be complicated. They simply make it easy for a customer to buy.

    It’s one of the two things they have in common. They are customer centric, not sales centric.

    The other thing that Single Principled Salespeople have in common is that they never follow the 8 myths of selling. Simply never.

    The 8 myths of selling were taught by well-meaning sales managers, eager to pass on the wisdom and knowledge that their sales managers had passed on to them. Like a cult, however, no one had questioned whether they were true. The 8 myths may have worked in their day, but they simply do not work today.

    Do you remember how you felt when you discovered there wasn’t really a Santa Claus? I remember it well. It was the 12th December 1971 and my (so called) best friend Johnny Harrison broke the fateful news to me over a Curly Wurly. I felt like I had been had. You don’t question what you are told as a kid; you just believe it to be true.

    Well, that was also the way I felt the day that I discovered that everything that I had been taught up to that point in sales was a complete lie; all myths. They were theories that had no substance in the modern world.

    Walk onto most sales floors and you’ll see the 8 myths of selling proudly displayed on the wall (probably next to the target and the ‘Inspiration’ poster):

    “Attitude Sets Altitude”

    “People Buy People”

    “Always Be Closing”

    “Customers Like to Talk about Themselves”

    “It’s a Numbers Game”

    “Sell the Sizzle not the Sausage”

    “Money Talks”

    “Fail to Plan, Plan to Fail”

    Be honest, you believe in at least half of the 8 myths yourself, don’t you? You are not alone.

    Most salespeople will quote them as the ‘sales gospel’. Suggest that they are myths and they will think you have gone mad.

    On the surface the 8 myths look perfectly reasonable. In fact, set inside a picture frame, each one looks positively motivating. And I am sure they made a lot of sense, at the time. But things change. And so has selling.

    Myth 1: Always Be Closing

    If you need to use closing techniques to get a sale, you clearly haven’t demonstrated that your product meets their needs. Rather than force the customer into a decision they will regret, simply go back to where you lost them in the buying process, and start again from there. If you apply the Single Sales Principle® you don’t need to close… the customer should be asking you to buy.

    Myth 2: Attitude sets Altitude

    Abraham Lincoln asked the question: “How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn’t make it a leg”. No amount of looking in the mirror and telling yourself ‘you’re a tiger’ will work if you don’t believe in your product.

    The better the value proposition, the better the attitude of a salesperson. Single Principled Salespeople ensure that they have a deep, genuine belief in their value proposition.

    Myth 3: People Buy People

    People buy when the product/service cost-effectively meets the customer’s needs. No amount of schmoozing with a client will make up for a poor product match.

    Being personable is, of course, important in sales. But isn’t it important in all vocations? Friendly plumbers are more pleasant to deal with than unfriendly plumbers. Friendly bus drivers are more pleasant to deal with than unfriendly bus drivers. Friendly lawyers are more pleasant to deal with than unfriendly lawyers (unless they’re on your team of course!) Ken Hubbard, the American writer said “Beauty is only skin deep, but it’s a valuable asset if you’re poor or haven’t any common sense!”

    In the good old/bad old days, salespeople would use their charm (‘beauty’) to cover up for this lack of a credible solution (‘common sense’). Today’s professional buyer can see through that. It’s what is underneath that counts most.

    Myth 4: Customers Like to Talk about Themselves

    We have sat on thousands of sales calls. Some were good. Some were bad. And some were downright ugly. The bad ones were those where the salesperson doesn’t ask any questions at all. They launch into their features and benefits without any consideration for what the buyer may actually needed.

    And then there were the ugly calls. The salesperson knew that they had to conduct a fact find, and gain as much information about the customer as possible. So they launched into a ‘Spanish inquisition’, asking a list of meaningless questions that did nothing but bore the customer.

    Yes, there is a certain amount of information that needs to be identified in a sales intervention, as without it it is difficult to make a recommendation and know whether the opportunity is worth fighting for. But this is all for your benefit, not theirs. Needs make sales, not customer biographies.

    Myth 5: It’s a Numbers Game

    Average salespeople get a long way by putting in long hours and running around contacting a lot of people. They then submit ‘phantom forecasts’; over-optimistic sales projections based on a pipeline of proposals that never convert into actual business. This is because the needs identified in the sales call were not compelling needs.

    Just having a need doesn’t mean that the customer will act upon it. Many of the deals on a salesperson’s pipeline remain unclosed because the customer keeps procrastinating over the decision. Playing the numbers game doesn’t help them deliver more sales. It just creates more work for themselves and everyone around them.

    The Single Principled Salesperson ensures that the needs are compelling prior to presenting the solution. Why? Because only then are they assured that the customer will be motivated into action.

    Myth 6: Sell the Sizzle, not the Sausage

    We love the concept of making presentations sizzle. Our issue with the myth of ‘selling the sizzle’ is with how salespeople think that they can bamboozle a customer with fancy presentations that are high on show but low on substance.

    At first sight, ‘selling the sizzle’ seems to make perfect sense. The sausage sizzling away on a griddle is much more likely to sell than an uncooked sausage sitting in the fridge. But this is because the sizzle fired up your senses bringing attention to the fact that you are hungry. The sizzle satisfied your compelling need.

    Ever smelt a sizzling sausage when you have food poisoning? It would probably make you feel even worse. This is because this time your need isn’t hunger. In fact, food is the last thing you need.

    Myth 7: Money Talks

    Listen to buyers and you’d think that they really do believe that money talks. Buyers are a brutal species, taking sheer delight in making a salesperson sweat on price. They trick them into thinking it is all about cost, and if the salesperson doesn’t drop their price they will find a supplier who will. Indeed, some buyers actually believe in this hype themselves.

    But customers actually want value, not the cheapest price. If people wanted cheap we would all be driving around in 10-year-old cars and shopping in charity shops. Products are only perceived as expensive if the value is not appreciated by the customer. You’ll never lose a deal on price, only on value.

    Myth 8: Fail to Plan, Plan to Fail

    Salespeople tend to fall into two camps: those who plan too much and those who hardly plan at all.

    Those who plan too much tend to be ‘busy fools,’ i.e. running around doing very little. When we go out with these salespeople on calls they show us all the planning they have done: a tour of the client’s website; the previous history; a list of questions they are going to ask; competitor information etc. The problem is they don’t even refer to it.

    The second type are those salespeople who do very little planning. Indeed, most salespeople fall into this category. You may be surprised to learn that so do Single Principled Salespeople.

    “Hooray!” I hear the cry from the sales community at large. “What? No need to plan?” Not quite!

    Peter Drucker, the management guru, defined the difference between ‘effectiveness’ and ‘efficiency’ as being:

    “Efficiency is doing things right; Effectiveness is doing the right things.”

    Single Principled Salespeople are effective because they identify the right things to do. It’s why they often work fewer hours than the average performers.

    The cartoonist, Doug Larson, said on time management, “For disappearing acts, it’s hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.” I think we can all empathise with this sentiment. Life is too short to be planning for the sake of it.

    The 8 Myths of Selling Summary

    Winston Churchill said “Out of intense complexities, simplicities emerge.” Selling has become a complicated business. But it doesn’t have to be. Simple is good.

    And that’s why great sales people follow the Single Sales Principle®. By focussing on matching compelling needs with credible solutions that offer perceived value you will succeed in selling. We guarantee it. Follow the 8 myths and you will become frustrated and disillusioned with our wonderful profession.

    Original article written by Mark Blackmore (MD of Lammore)

    For more information on the ‘Single Sales Principle’ sales training programme contact:

    Ben Thompson

    ben.thompson@lammore.com

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    Source by Ben Charles Thompson

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  • My Husband Left Because He Needs Space – But I Love Him and Want Him to Come Home, What Should I Do?

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    I recently heard from a wife who was quite lonely and devastated. Last week, her husband had decided that he “needed some space,” and he packed his bags and left the home. He had called a few times during his absence, but he wouldn’t give the wife any specifics about how long he expected to be gone and when (or if) he was coming back. The wife regretted how they had left things. They had argued and she had said some things that she definitely didn’t mean while the husband had said some heartless things to her as well.

    So, she had no idea where she stood or where the marriage was headed. And, even though she was angry at the husband for leaving her and for the things that she said, she knew that she still loved him and she wanted for him to come home as soon as possible. She did not want for this one impulsive event to mean the end of her marriage. But she didn’t know how to change the path that they seemed to be on. And, every time she tried to broach this subject with her husband and express her feelings to him, he became flustered and abruptly ended the conversation.

    So, it was clear to the wife that the topic was, at least for now, off limits. And, this left her confused as what she should do. She worried that if she just dropped the topic and backed off altogether, then her husband might just continue to drift away and not come home. But, she didn’t want to continue to push him further away.

    Actually, from my own experience and research, I believe that there is a happy medium here and a tactic that usually brings about the best outcome for everyone concerned. It would also allow for the wife to keep her self respect intact and to emerge in a position of strength rather than one of weakness.

    Even Though You Want Him Home, Try Not To Come On Too Strongly: Obviously, if the wife had her way, the husband would come home full of love and apologies that very evening. But, it was pretty clear that this wasn’t likely. The husband had been calling less and less and seemed more and more annoyed. Believe it or not, you will usually get better results and a better response from him if you let him come to you rather than pushing yourself onto him when he is not receptive to this.

    When I tell women this they will often respond with something like: “well, if I wait for him to pursue me or to come around, I may be waiting around forever. I can’t risk it. What if the saying ‘out of sight out of mind’ is true? What if I give him this space and he doesn’t ever come back to me?”

    Here’s what you might want to consider. He has already left. You can not turn back time and keep this from happening. But, what you can control is how you react right now. You can control how you present yourself right now and this is likely going to influence his perceptions of what he really wants. And, his perceptions aren’t likely to be good if you push when he’s not receptive or focus on the negative and how miserable you are without him.

    A desperate woman who is nagging, debating, or falling apart is not likely to be perceived as attractive. I don’t mean to be cruel about this, but my conversations with men who visit my blog indicate to me that, unfortunately, this is just the way that it is.

    Presenting Yourself As The Woman That You Know He Really Wants: Many women in this situation tell me that they feel like they are no longer who or what their husband wants. You mustn’t think this way. Here’s what you have likely forgotten. He has already chosen you once. You’ve already proven that you have the attributes that he values the most. He was already so crazy about you that he married you.

    Yes, things have started to go wrong and your life might be off track. But, that doesn’t mean that you can’t fix it. You know what he loves about you. Make sure he sees these things without your having to over reach for them. Wait until he is more receptive and then give him small doses of who you know he loves very much. Always keep things light hearted and allow for him to see the woman that he has been missing.

    Even if you feel frightened, unsure, and insecure, save these emotions for trusted girlfriends and family members because it is so important that you try to keep all of the perceptions as positive as you can right now. Make sure that he thinks you aren’t moping around the house praying for his return. Give the impression that you’re confident that if you can gradually improve things, he will come back willingly because you are meant to be together. If you can pull this off, you’ll often find that he’s becoming more and more receptive to you and to the idea of coming home.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

    Views: 0

  • Business Ethics for the Mindful Dance Professional

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    Once upon a time, a dance teacher opened her own studio down the road from her former employer’s school, taking advantage of her former teaching position to start her own studio. Sound familiar? This is an all too common story in the dance studio business and unfortunately, this is no fairy-tale.

    We have all heard a version of this story or perhaps experienced it first-hand. Poaching students–direct or indirect solicitation of another’s students–is a practice that mindlessly fragments and divides the dance community. In addition to poaching students, other subtle, but just as divisive, practices include: making negative remarks about other teachers/schools, misrepresentation of the self by making false, exaggerated, or ambiguous claims, and making disparaging comparisons or references about others.

    What drives otherwise enterprising individuals to engage in business practices that burn bridges, sow the seeds of deceit, and model mindless behavior?

    Darwin. You heard me–Darwin is to blame. Well, not really Darwin himself, but the misinterpretation of his theories into a business context is at the root of this dilemma. When the business world adopted the neo-Darwinian philosophy of “survival of the fittest”, they unleashed a ready-made excuse for unethical action.

    As a culture that witnessed the “cola wars” first hand, we picked up the idea that anything goes when it comes to business and marketing. Ethics and morals need not apply. “That’s business” they say while defending their actions. They fail to see the big picture: to look mindfully at the situation. They unknowingly hurt the larger dance profession and therefore themselves. It is a case of one’s right hand shooting one’s left and thinking this is good.

    What makes one feel justified in approaching the business of dance studios in this mindless manner?

    At the root of the neo-Darwinian business approach is a sense of isolation and scarcity. These teachers believe that it is “them against the world”–or, more directly, “them against the other local studios/teachers.” Add to this sense of isolation a sense of scarcity–that there are not enough students to go around–and you start to understand how one begins to rationalize why stealing students is necessary for survival. However, these twin concepts–isolation and scarcity–are illusions in the dance world.

    Studios fighting over the same group of students create a negative atmosphere in the community. Parents sense this negativity and choose alternative activities for their children because they seem more wholesome: the potential young dancer takes up soccer. However, in a community where more than one dance school thrives without negativity, a greater number of students enjoy dance as an activity. This greater number of students translates down the road into a greater number of future dancers, dance teachers, and, most importantly, audience members. If dance studios stopped seeing each other so much as competitors and more as colleagues, the entire dance profession would benefit.

    The solution starts as simply as making replacements: replacing mindless competition with mindful collegiality, mindless isolation with mindful interconnectedness, and mindless scarcity with mindful abundance. We must realize that the dance profession, from the smallest recreational dance class to the largest professional company, is interconnected. The entire web of the dance world is vitally linked.

    For example, the dance community is rather small in comparison with the larger world of sports. There are many more children participating in sports than the arts. Rather than interpreting this as a reason to fight for resources, we should embrace a sense of abundance. There are more than enough potential students out there to sustain every school if we focus on bringing more students into dance rather than fighting over those already there. It is to the benefit of the dance profession at every level to include more of the non-dance world inside our walls rather than put up walls within our own.

    So, how can we begin to break down the twin illusions of isolation and scarcity in the dance studio world and open our eyes to interconnectedness and abundance?

    We need to base our actions and practices on ideals that reflect the dance world as a healthy and vibrant community rather than a dire and hopeless one that lends itself to mindless behavior. Adopting a code of ethics that reinforces a mindful and wholesome outlook will not just serve as guidelines, but also help promote a positive environment for those whom they effect.

    Going forward, we all need to embrace a code of ethics that addresses these issues. The following list is nowhere near complete, but it is a place to start.

    Business Ethics for the Mindful Dance Professional

    In all professional and business relations, the dance professional shall exhibit respect, honesty, and integrity for themselves, clients, and colleagues.

    A. Respect

    A dance professional shall refrain from making negative remarks that may discredit, malign, or in any way cast reflection on the professional standing of another school/studio or teacher.

    A dance professional shall refrain from making any disparaging references to, or disparaging comparisons with, the services of others

    A dance professional shall refrain from publishing, or causing to be published, any notice, newspaper advertisement, or any other matter likely to damage or depreciate the reputation of any colleague.

    B. Honesty

    A dance professional shall accurately portray his or her qualifications or affiliations to the public especially in advertising material and avoid any ambiguity or exaggeration.

    A dance professional shall refrain from portraying his or her qualifications or affiliations to the public in a way intended to deceive the uninitiated. For example: having danced a child role in the Nutcracker with a professional company and listing it as to portray having danced professionally with the company.

    C. Integrity

    A dance professional shall refrain from directly soliciting business from another teacher or studio by approaching, in any manner the pupil, pupils or employees of another teacher and, for any reason at all, to try to induce them to join his/her school.

    A dance professional shall refrain from indirectly soliciting business from another teacher or studio by making adverse criticism against other teachers’ methods, by offering free coaching, by citing the advantages to be gained by the pupil from the change (e.g. offering roles/parts), or other similar methods.

    With each of us taking responsibility for our own actions by embracing a mindful ethical base, we can co-create a healthier, connected, and abundant environment in the business of dance schools. Moreover, with all we have in common, we might just discover we make better friends than enemies.

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    Source by James Robey

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  • What Is a Relationship Mission Statement

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    RELATIONSHIP VISION

    Aligning values in relationships is a good thing to do intentionally. Think about how most people go through relationships. Does one person give up important values for the other? Is there conflict in the relationship? These things usually happen when values and beliefs aren’t talked about and don’t align with each other. Most conflicts in any relationship is due to differing values or beliefs. After all if we all agreed on what is most important there would be no need to argue. A Relationship Mission Statement can help!

    WE ALL COME FROM DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS

    Think about how you grew up, your environment, money, food, school and so many other things. Did you partner grow up the same? Did your parents teach you different lessons regarding TV, meals, religion, or friends then you partner? We all bring expectations into our relationships but most likely they aren’t the same for each of us. So why do we think things are supposed to magically work out without talking about it, creating goals, or aligning values. Eventually if the bumps can’t be smoothed out then couples tend to search for someone like me. This is not a bad thing, seeing a professional can be incredibly helpful and restore the peace and longevity of your relationship.

    CHECKING IN WITH YOUR PARTNER

    For now let me provide you a simple way to check in with each other, communicate, and look at the future. Creating a Relationship Vision is a simple and helpful tool. It doesn’t take much time and can really target the lasting happiness of your relationship.

    A few steps to creating a Relationship Vision Sit down by yourself for about 30 minutes. Remember it doesn’t have to be done in one day.

    SIMPLE STEPS TO FOLLOW

    1. Go for the positive

    When brainstorming phrase things in a positive manner. For example instead of saying “we don’t argue” say “we will settle things calmly and peacefully” or “we trust each other” instead of “we won’t be jealous”.

    2. Write down your non-negotiables and desires

    Write down your “must-haves” such as “we will parent together” or “exercise is important” or “we will communicate openly and respect each other’s perspective”. You could also write things like, “going outside of our union is non negotiable”, “monogamy is of the utmost importance “, “attending church is a priority”, “traveling and experiencing the world with my partner is a high priority.” Make sure it’s not a laundry list for your partner, i.e. he mows the lawn and she does the laundry.

    3. Explore several areas of a relationship

    Since we have a multifaceted life it is important to address as many of these as you feel necessary. Expressing wants, desires, and values with sex, finances, lifestyle, parenting, career in-laws, leisure time and education are just a few of the things you may want to consider in You Relationship Vision. Answer questions about these topics such as what do I enjoy in my free time? How important are finances? Do I want to work full time? Do I need a 401k? What about insurance? Does my job need to provide this? What percentage or amount of time do we spend with in-laws? How do we allow them to interact with the children? Is sex satisfying? Do we want to explore new sexual ideals? Do the answers align with my values?

    4. Come together

    Come together as a couple and discuss the things you agree on first. Then Discuss what is negotiable and create short sentences expressing what is important to both of you. Leave the things that you don’t agree on for last. See if you can compromise on these issues if not this is where someone like me comes in. Having a professional help couples work through the hard stuff is helpful and will benefit your relationship for a lifetime.

    5. Come up with your statement.

    It doesn’t have to be long, complicated or directive. As a matter of practicality it’s better to make it succinct, covering the overarching theme of your intentions for your relationship.

    Examples

    We are co-creators of our lives, sharing a desire to love and be loved unconditionally, by consciously determining our behaviors and the outcomes we wish for ourselves and our family. We value respect, trust, non-judgment and self-control. We bring our best selves to this union, casting out destructive, egocentric motivations so that we may achieve the most positive and loving lifestyle we are capable of.

    We agree to always love and cherish each other and recognize how fortunate we both are; each of us consider ourselves the ‘lucky one.’ We build a healthy lifestyle together, where we support each other in getting exercise, eating well, having fun, resting and relaxing. We make all important decisions together, as a team. We don’t keep secrets from each other. We confide in each other and feel safe in each other’s care.

    We’re together to build a loving family and teach our children about healthy relationships. We create a sense of stability by having some routine but also make time for fun and spontaneity. We don’t intentionally hurt each other, but recognize we still do – and so we quickly and readily apologize. We take care of each other.

    6. Schedule a time

    Weekly, monthly, quarterly or whatever works for you, but make sure you come together to gauge if you are on track. This is the best way to ensure you both get your needs met and can address it if you’ve gotten off track. This will also provide space for growth. Since nothing in life stays the same, people, situations, events, or relationships, this provides room to renegotiate, change your Relationship Vision as the both of you change.

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    Source by Roxanna Teeling

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  • Sports Figures, Drugs, and America’s Drug Problem

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    There have been a lot of sports figures in the news recently as a result of drugs. Most recently, Alex Rodriguez has been accused of steroid use. This was a major story as he appeared to be one of only a handful of “clean” baseball heroes of recent times. Just prior to the Rodriguez scandal was the Phelps scandal. If you are one of the three people in the country that haven’t heard, he had been photographed smoking marijuana from a bong. And drugs and sports grabbing headlines doesn’t stop there, as recent articles on Fox Sports have discussed steroid use among the 70’s Steelers, and the recent arrest of Corie Blount, a former NBA player, who was allegedly caught with 29 pounds of marijuana. There was also the arrest of Jacksonville Jaguar former first round pick Matt Jones for cocaine possession early in last year’s football season.

    An interesting article I read on the Phelps scandal was by sometimes controversial sports writer Jason Whitlock. In the article he challenges what some saw as a racial double standard, and even briefly discusses some of the issues with this country’s war on drugs. His article is related to some of the material I use in the course I teach on “The Psychology of Drugs and Drug Abuse.” I show highlights of a documentary called “American Drug War: The Last White Hope.” This film does a good job (although biased at times) of showing the dark side of this war on drugs.

    As an example of America’s misperception of the drug problem, were you aware that tobacco kills more people than all other drugs combined, including alcohol? According to Hart, Ksir, and Ray, smoking is responsible for about 440,000 premature deaths per year. In comparison, alcohol is responsible for at least 20,000 accidental deaths per year, and up to 75,000 in this country when you combine accidental deaths (car accidents, boating accidents, falls, etc.) and deaths from the ill affects on the body (cirrhosis, heart disease, etc.). And these numbers far surpass the deaths from illegal drugs (10-20,000 per year). In fact, illegal drugs kill less Americans then the misuse of prescription drugs. (I had difficulty getting accurate data on prescription drug deaths as a result of misuse, but most articles and sources make it clear that prescription drug misuse causes more deaths per year than illegal drugs).

    According to the documentary I mentioned earlier, some of the contributors to the war on drugs are the companies from the tobacco and alcohol industries. Additionally, this documentary uses interviews with former government officials to substantiate the claim that the war on drugs has been a colossal failure. Street drugs today are more plentiful, more pure, and cheaper. So what has the war on drugs accomplished? According to statistics, it has resulted in approximately 50% of the incarcerated population being jailed for non-violent drug crimes.

    The point is that there are some real misconceptions about the substance abuse problem in this country. Perhaps we are paying attention to the wrong things. Rather than paying attention to cuts in funding for substance abuse rehabilitation, or to the incarceration of non-violent drug offenders, we seem much more concerned with our appointed heroes gaining an advantage in a sport they get paid huge amounts of money to play. Or in someone we have chosen to put on a pedestal, (a 23y/o at that) for letting us down by using marijuana at a college party. We are worried about street drugs, including marijuana, when prescription drug abuse is causing far more damage. And we wouldn’t think of making tobacco or alcohol illegal, despite the fact it causes far more health and welfare problems than illegal substances.

    Don’t we contribute to the sports worship issue? Don’t we make sports figures heroes and role-models, perhaps even more so than more worthy role-models? Don’t we make sports the business it is today, by buying the jerseys, paying the ticket prices, watching the games on television, and making sports the market that it is? Aren’t we quick to dethrone someone who makes a mistake, as if perfection is the only standard we’ll accept?

    I am not pro-drugs. I am not sure if I am pro legalization; I would have to give the issue more thought, and I’m not even sure I’m qualified to voice an opinion. But I am certain we are looking in the wrong directions when we look at drugs in this country. I am hoping it is time for a change: a change which finds all individuals seeking self actualization without the need for a substance; a time where compassion rules, rather than self-righteous indignation. I don’t believe many of us are going to get self actualized or become enlightened watching sports on television. But it is a nice distraction sometimes. How about that Superbowl?

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    Source by William Berry

    Views: 0

  • Dousing the Flames of Marital Conflict

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    Conflicts in marriage are endemic. Because this is a union of two distinct individuals each with his or her own likes, dislikes, prejudices and pet peeves, conflicts are built into the marriage packet. As the famous evangelist Billy Graham once said, “For a married couple to expect perfection in each other is unrealistic. The unblemished ideal exists only in ‘happily-ever-after’ fairy tales. ‘Happily incompatible’ is a good adjustment.”

    No human relationship can exist in a permanent state of happiness, and conflicts need not be viewed as a sign of instability or impending rupture of marriage. Couples need to master the art of quarreling constructively and resolving all conflicts positively. A mature approach will increase understanding and trust, and strengthen their relationship. However this depends on their level of commitment to each other.

    Areas of conflict:

    o Finance: In this consumer-oriented society of today, money or the lack of it can lead to conflict. Spouses have different spending habits. Overspending or unnecessary spending by one partner can upset the family budget, leaving less money for essentials. Entertainment, alcohol, consumer goods can eat into one’s pocket. Similarly miserliness will also trigger conflict.

    o When the needs, wants and desires of one partner are not met, there is a tendency to be irritable or argumentative over trifles.

    o Domination: When one partner is excluded from the decisions that affect them both, friction is bound to arise. Similarly, procrastination by one partner on issues that need urgent decisions can be annoying.

    o In-laws: Too much interference or over dependence of in-laws can become a bone of contention. Unfair references and comparisons lead to quarrels.

    o Children: Different styles of parenting or lack of proper parenting skills can result in heated arguments.

    o Sex: Husbands and wives have exclusive conjugal rights over their partners. Depriving a spouse of normal sexual activity creates tension in the relationship.

    o Working wives: Some women with high tech jobs may not have quality time to spend with husband and children. Stress, fatigue or overwork can sap them of strength and put them in an irritable frame of mind.

    o Habits: Drinking, smoking, gambling or drug taking are frequent causes of conflict.

    o Social activities. Time consuming parties or games leave very little time to spend with each other.

    o Physical and emotional abuse.

    o Self-centeredness.

    o Secrecy: Keeping important secrets from each other is a breach of trust.

    o Infidelity.

    The mark of a good marriage is not the absence of conflict, but how each partner deals with the problem. Conflict is like an ember with the potential to spark into a flame, and if not doused in time, can blaze into a conflagration. The foremost thing to remember is that it is not a battle between enemies. It is just a disagreement between spouses who have promised to love and cherish each other till the end of their lives.

    “Many marriages would be better if both husband and wife realize that they are on the same side,” says Zig Ziglar.

    The aim must be to diffuse the situation by proper resolution, so that it does not crop up again and again.

    There are two options available.

    1.The Negative Approach which will generate hostility.

    2.The Positive Approach which will make the bonds of marriage stronger.

    Negative Approach:

    – One partner personalizes the problem and treats it as an attack. Women are more prone to this approach. They withdraw into themselves and wallow in self pity. Withdrawal may be physical, sexual or emotional. Breach of communication follows. This is a dangerous trend. A trivial problem festers in the mind until it assumes gigantic proportions.

    – Angry reactions like yelling, crying, abuse, sarcasm, insults or even violence are disastrous. The idea obviously is to hurt the other person while defending one’s self in the blame game.

    As Broderick said, “Couples who vent their anger and do nothing to get at its cause and cure are committing marital suicide.”

    Positive Approach:

    1. Couples should never communicate when angry. They should first think things over calmly by themselves and then discuss the issue. Privacy is important. Discussions should not take place in the presence of their children or relatives, but in a quiet place where there will be no interruptions. They must bear in mind at all times that they are allies and not adversaries. There must be eye contact throughout the discussion. Respect for each other’s feelings is important. So the tone of voice and body language must be appropriate. Listening carefully to the other’s point of view is showing respect. Questions and clarifications are in order. It is also a time to share one’s genuine hurts and frustrations. Generalizations like ‘You always find fault’ or ‘You never listen’ are not helpful.

    2. The core issue must be tackled. It is important to define and discuss only the problem that started the conflict. Is the problem repetitive? Is there a recurring pattern? If so, why has the problem not been resolved before? There should be no deviation into unrelated issues. Old problems must not be dredged up and recycled to score a point.

    3. Finance can be a contentious subject. Bad financial habits must be mended. Budgeting one’s income is important. If expenses go beyond the budgeted amount, there should be a discussion on how best to make good the deficit. Honest conversations about purchases, savings and overspending will help. It might require lowering one’s standard of living or finding other ways of income generation.

    4. Sex is an important aspect of marriage. Withholding sex by one partner as a means of punishing the other, is hurtful. Sex enhances intimacy and reconciliation.

    5. Spouses must take responsibility for their contribution to the problem. They should be willing to change their behaviour if necessary. Owning up faults and admitting their weaknesses will diffuse tension. Sometimes it may even be necessary to give into the partner’s wishes, even though not fully agreeable. It is important to focus on what is right and not on who is right. Compromise is by no means weakness. It reflects strength and helps resolve the problem permanently.

    6. Forgiveness is the most important salve that will heal the hurt of conflict. Couples should be generous in forgiving each other’s faults. It may not be easy, but it is always better to get it over with and move on.

    Conflicts in marriage are inevitable. Fault finding and negativity can destroy and tear apart relationships. ‘Let not the sun go down upon your wrath,’ advises Scripture. With proper communication, tolerance and commitment, most conflicts can be resolved.

    As Alexander Perry said, “The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but to hold hands.”

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    Source by Eva Bell

    Views: 0

  • Creativity and Entrepreneurship

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    We will commence our assignment with a discussion of sources of new ideas. We will then examine methods of generating ideas, creative problem solving, the product planning and development process, and then e-commerce. We will then generate several new ideas using brain writing, the checklist method, and free association. We will apply the product development stage to our new ideas and end our discussion with two alternatives to e-commerce.

    Sources of new ideas include consumers, existing products and services, distribution channels and even the Federal Government (Hisrich, 2008). The files of the patent office are full of new ideas and new product ideas can form as a result of government regulations. Research and development is the largest source of new ideas and can occur in a formal lab or in a garage or basement.

    Many methods can be use to generate new ideas. In focus groups, a moderator leads a group of people through open, in-depth discussions. These groups generally consist of eight to fourteen participants. They are stimulated by comments from other group members in creatively conceptualizing and developing a new product idea to fill a market need. Focus groups are also an excellent way to screen ideas and concepts. Problem inventory analysis is another great method of generating new ideas. It uses individuals in a manner that is similar to that of focus groups. Consumers are provided with a list of problems in a general product category and are then asked to identify and discuss products in this category that have the particular problem. This method should be used primarily to identify product ideas for further evaluation.

    Creative problem solving takes the generation of new ideas to a higher level. Brainstorming allows people to be stimulated to greater creativity by meeting with others and participating in organized group experiences. Rules include the following:

    a) Criticism not allowed

    b) Freewheeling is encouraged

    c) Quantity of ideas is desired

    d) Encourage combinations and improvements of ideas

    Brainstorming should be fun and not contain any domination or inhibition of discussion. It is highly effective in groups of six to twelve individuals and can generate ideas about a problem within a limited time frame through the spontaneous contributions of participants. Reverse brainstorming offers a different perspective as it is similar to brainstorming, except criticism is allowed. It is based on finding fault by asking in how many ways an idea can fail. The focus is on the negative aspects of a product, service, or idea. One must be careful to maintain group's morale though. Reverse brainstorming can be used prior to other forms of creative techniques to stimulate innovative thinking and involves the identification of everything wrong with an idea. It is usually worthwhile since is easier for people to be critical about an idea instead of coming up with a new one.

    Brainwriting is a form of written brainstorming and gives participants more time to think than brainstorming. It is silent and each group member writes down three ideas within five minutes. A form is passed around to all participants while a leader monitors time intervals and can even modify them. The Gordon method is another method of creative problem solving and begins with group members not knowing the exact nature of a problem. This ensures that a solution is not clouded by preconceived ideas and behavioral problems. A general concept associated with the problem is mentioned and the group then expresses a number of ideas. A concept is then developed and related concepts are developed. Finally, the actual problem is revealed.

    The checklist method involves the development of a new idea through a list of related issues or suggestions. The following questions demonstrate how the checklist method is used:

    ii.Put to other uses? New ways to use as-is?

    iii.Adapt? What else like this? What could I copy

    iv.Modify? New twist? Change meaning, color, form, shape?

    v.Magnify? What to add?

    vi.Minify? What substitute? Smaller?

    vii.Substitute? What else instead? Other material?

    viii.Rearrange? Other pattern?

    ix.Reverse?

    x.Combine? Blend?

    Free association is another form of creative problem solving and is one of the simplest and yet most most effective methods. It is helpful in developing an entirely new slant to a problem. First, a word or phrase related to a problem is written down. Then other ones are written down and so on. Each new word attempts to add something new to the ongoing thought processes. This creates a chain of ideas ending with a new product idea.

    The product planning and development process is crucial to an entrepreneur's success. One must first establish evaluation criteria by assessing the market opportunity and size. One must evaluate current competing producers, prices, and marketing efforts. New idea should have synergy with existing management capabilities and marketing strategies. The proposed product or service idea should be able to be supported by and contribute to a company's financial well-being. One should evaluate the compatibility of a new product's production requirements with existing plant, machinery, and personnel. Entrepreneurs should be concerned with formally evaluating an idea throughout its evolution. The idea stage involves identifying new product or service ideas while eliminating impractical product or service ideas.

    One must determine the need for the new idea as well as its value to the company to ensure both prior to proceeding with the ideas. The need determination should focus on the type of need, its timing, the users involved with trying the product or service, the importance of controllable marketing variables, the overall market structure, and the characteristics of the market. In the concept stage, a new product should be developed further and refined through interaction with consumers. The refined idea is then tested to determine consumer acceptance. Features, price, and promotion should be evaluated for the concept being studied and any major competing products. The product development stage involves determining consumer reactions to the physical product. An entrepreneur can provide samples in this stage. The final stage of the development process consists of the test marketing stage, which provides actual sales results that indicate the acceptance level of consumers.

    E-commerce is a relatively new concept in the business world and should be used creatively. An entrepreneur must address additional specific issues due to continually-evolving technology. For instance, one must decide if he will run the internet operations of the business or outsource the task to another firm. A website is often created and must be aesthetically-pleasing and fully functional. Ninety percent of small businesses use websites and ease of use is important with websites. The website is a communication vehicle in which search capability and speed are equally important. A website should have a shopping cart, secure server connection, credit card payment processing, and a customer feedback feature. It should be customized for specific target market groups and should be compatible with various browsers.

    The tracking of customer information is vitally important when dealing with e-commerce. This is often accomplished via electronic databases. Doing so supports personal marketing and captures customer attention with customized one-to-one marketing. It is critically important to protect the privacy of individuals when keeping databases.

    When conducting e-commerce as an entrepreneurial company, one's products should be able to be delivered economically and conveniently. Products must be interesting to a large number of people and a company must be prepared to ship products out of its geographic location. Online operations must bring significant reductions in cost as compared to having a store.

    We now turn our attention to the generation of clothing ideas for Libya. We utilized brainwriting with a time limit of five minutes to come up with a new idea. We drafted an adjustable robe for women that can be rolled up and then attached with velcro to shorten it when desired to offer additional clothing and styling capabilities. We then used the checklist method and came up with the following:

    xi.Modify? New twist? Change meaning, color, form, shape?

    a) Can offer robe in multiple colors such as white, red, and blue

    xii.Substitute? What else instead? Other material?

    a) Can make robes out of breathable polyester / nylon material as used in athletic wear

    b) Allows for wicking away of sweat and moisture to keep clothing dry and light in weight

    We then used free association to come up with a list of related words:

    -xiii.cooling, light weight, windproof, light colors, reflective material xiv. End result is metallic-colored fabric that will reflect sunlight like aluminum foil

    We then applied product development stages to the new ideas to formulate a final product concept. We first established our evaluation criteria by assessing market opportunity and size. The population of Libya is 6,173,579, so this will serve as our potential market (Wikipedia, 2009). We then turned to the idea stage to identify new product ideas. These ideas included the following thought process:

    a) Can offer robe in multiple colors such as white, red, and blue

    b) Can make robes out of breathable polyester / nylon material as used in athletic wear

    c) Roll-up velcro to shorten robe for greater cooling and comfort

    d) metallic-colored fabric that will reflect sunlight like aluminum foil

    xv.Eliminate impractical product / service ideas in this stage

    a) Metallic-colored fabric will be eliminated

    b) Reflecting sun can create an oven effect on wearer

    c) Can actually make customer hotter and not cooler

    xvi.Determine the need for the new idea as well as its value to the company to ensure both prior to proceeding with ideas

    a) Multiple robe colors will appeal to different people

    b) Wicking-material robe will appeal to men more

    c) Roll-up robe will appeal to women more

    d) Can result in greater sales and market share

    e) Is beneficial to company to sell more robes while meeting individual needs of customers via mass customization

    We then moved on to the concept stage to further develop and refine our new product ideas through interaction with consumers. We plan on participating in trade shows to present our new ideas. We will display prototypes and obtain feedback from potential customers. Our refined ideas will then be tested to determine consumer acceptance. We will take consumer ideas into consideration and tweak prototypes accordingly. We will then consider the pricing and products of our competition and price our products accordingly to maintain a competitive edge. In the product development stage, we will determine consumers' reactions to the physical product by allowing customers to try our robes on at trade shows. We will then participate in the test marketing stage by proving actual sales results once our products enter the market.

    Alternatives for the use of e-commerce in conducting one of the product development stages for the actual commercialization of our final product idea can involve the creation of a company website that is easy to use. We will incorporate powerful search capabilities while ensuring that our site performs with acceptable speed. We will include a shopping cart, secure server connection, credit card payment, and customer feedback feature in our website. In addition, our website will be customized for specific target market groups and be compatible with various browsers. We will also track customer information by creating an electronic database that supports personal marketing. This will allow us to capture customers' attention with customized one-to-one marketing while protecting the privacy of individuals via strong database encryption. Incorporating online operations will bring significant reductions in cost as compared to having a store. This will allow us to pass savings on to customers via lower prices and greater value.

    Bibliography

    Hisrich, Robert D., Peters, Michael P., and Shepherd, Dean A. (2008). Entrepreneurship
    (7th ed.). Boston: McGraw-Hill Irwin.

    Wikipedia (2009). Libya. Retrieved July 23,2009 from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Libya .

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    Source by Bobby Mobini

    Views: 0

  • Free Winning Mass Cash Tips

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    Massachusetts happens to be one of the most populated states in America despite of its size. Boston happens to be one of the most beautiful cities filled with rich history, culture, and considered as the ‘Cradle of Liberty.’ It is by far one of the homes of the biggest lotto players earning the name Mass Cash.

    Mass Cash is a 5/35 lotto game with a one hundred thousand-dollar jackpot. It may not be impressive for most, yet having a hundred grand can and will make anyone smile regardless. The probability in winning the cool hundred grand is 1 in 324,632, which can be translated as anyone’s game with a good chance of winning than even Powerball.

    As for tips, this odd-numbered game would require some careful planning and checking on past winning numbers. With a state that lives in history, it can be a great tool for winning the prize. Second and third place winners can pretty much get their money back.

    Starting with the odd-even tactic for Mass Cash would be a good choice to even the playing field of a 2/3, 3/2 combination. Checking on the past winning numbers (even dated as far back as 1955) can be a chore at times, yet the high probability of the numbers showing up again would be somewhere close to seventy percent.

    Using the High-Low combination on Mass Cash can be tricky at times yet still useful, regardless of which side the middlemost number should go would sometimes be the deciding factor on getting a proper combination. A quick way in doing so is to avoid integers, meaning anything that has a multiple of 35 (five and seven respectively). The general rule of thumb from experienced lotto players and probably even some mathematicians would always be to expect the expected, not the other way around.

    Group matches are another great way in determining a proper combination, basing it on a set group/s that a player has established. This is where history can tell, which number can be used as a replacement for a potential cold number. Beware, though, as what may be considered as a cold number might turn up, yet the chances of it ending the losing streak would be rare.

    Talking about history, a repeat hit may occur at more than fifty percent at the time. Mass Cash has one of the longest lists of winning numbers that would sometimes repeat itself. With regards to these numbers, sometimes a combination of using a group number would be like playing poker if needed to change some cards.

    Playing Mass Cash is a lotto game that would mean that everyone’s a winner. From getting some of the money back to getting the one hundred thousand is to know and have a right mindset once the player lines up to the betting booth. Mass Cash is an ideal way on being a thousand dollars richer, and if given some thought on how to use the money would be beneficial. Just because the jackpot is small doesn’t mean it’s useless.

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    Source by Chris S Malcolm

    Views: 0

  • Heal Your Broken Heart With Heart Touching Poems

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    Being in love is an amazing experience in itself. Countless days and nights thinking about someone and the moments you spend with them takes you in a world which is far away from reality and seems just like heaven. Lots of promises and commitments for spending the life together is an essence that can never be forgotten. Unfortunately, all the couples are not so blessed; they have to face the separation in the mean of their love journey.

    Whatever the reason may be either the circumstances or the misunderstandings, it seems like all the happiness is going too far from their life. At that time one feels that he should lock himself in a dark room and keep on talking with those memories. It feels like the whole world is laughing on the separation of two hearts.

    Generally, those broken heart guys love to read their previous chats, messages, and letters again and again. No one knows why people do this while the fact is it’s the power of words that take them to rewind all their memorable moments and tears automatically comes out of their eyes. World witnessed that power of word can change an enemy into a friend and vice-versa.

    Love poem have proved their significant existence in the life of the broken heart guys. These love separations have given birth to popular poets. Every one of them has their own love story and unforgettable memories behind those words of the poem. If you are also among the ones that are not so blessed to have your partner with you for lifetime and one thing may work in your favor at this time.

    Try to write your feelings in the form of poem instead of sharing them with all. Once people will show you sympathy but they will not listen to you again and again. And a time will come when they may also hurt you by making fun of your feelings.

    Writing such poems will not only give your heart a relief but a writer may come out from you. With time it may become your hobby which may transform into strength. Though, it’s also true no one can forget their first love. But, sooner or later everyone has to overcome from this deadly experience.

    Remember that, you are doing this for your own benefit. Because when you will complete one poem you will definitely feel the need to write the other. You may notice that different elements of your pain come out of your heart – at first may be pity and then regret but definitely a glimmer of hope will come someday. Just keep on writing whatever bubble ups from the heart to the surface of your mind. Always remember that time is the biggest ointment that will definitely fade out those memories from your life. No matter how far the person has moved away you will definitely learn to live a happy life.

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    Source by Sarika Kataria

    Views: 0

  • My Backyard Mechanic is Getting Rich!

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    I kid you not… my backyard mechanic (my younger brother) is getting sooo rich from just listening to a little bit of the news. You see he’s a jack of all trades, and very good in all of them. From buying run-down homes and renovating them, to flipping them for a huge profit… to fixing everybody’s broken down cars. I mean who wants to pay a local garage $80 an hour to change brake pads? But this is not what it’s about! This is even easier!

    Imagine that you’re pretty handy with your hands in just about everything. As he puts it… if you can screw a lightbulb, patch a whole in the wall, change a tire, put up shelves, then anyone can do this.

    He knows a good thing when he sees one, and finds every which way possible to profit like crazy on what the masses are complaining about. He finds the solution, applies it to his own life, and shows everybody how they too can do what I’m about to tell you.

    What do you think the biggest mass grievance is in the world today? You guessed it… gas prices. Here’s what he did exactly!

    He converted his car to run half on water and half on gas using the technology that is now available, with a simple $20 kit. From there, he had two simple magnetic signs made up for each side of his car, which states “RUNS ON WATER [http://www.runyourcaronwater.jon-michel.com]” and with his phone number. He also created a flyer in “Word”, and went to his local photocopy shop and had 500 copies printed out. That cost him about $10. He had some young local girls and boys drop these off in mailboxes and gave them a few bucks to do it.

    Within a week, his phone started ringing and never lets up. He charges $150. a car plus the kit, for work that takes him a couple of hours. On a good day, he manages 4 cars a day. On a bad day, he’ll stop at two or three. Now do the math and tell me this isn’t worth it!

    He has now found a young 17 year old to help him keep up with the demand. He figures it’s just what he needed, because it’s so profitable, that it allows him to expand in other things. No wonder my little brother takes more trips to Hawaii than the average lawyer or doctor. Making money fast has always been a given to him. Entrepreneurship is where it’s at!

    This is a great way of making money fast to finance other ventures.

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    Source by Jonathan G. Michel

    Views: 0