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  • Negotiation Tactics and The Poison of Emotion

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    “Don’t take it personally… it’s just business.”

    No doubt you have heard these words spoken by an opposing party to a business deal. Many people have heard these words, and they usually followed a bone-crushing blow from the other side. As if to make any wound acceptable, they remind you they wouldn’t do it on a personal level, but only in a business context.

    As if the two are separable.

    The reality is, personal and business are really not separable, and this is why: when you negotiate a deal, you do not negotiate with a retail shop, or a construction crew, or a brand of product – you negotiate with a person. And that makes it personal, every time.

    Because negotiations are personal, there usually are emotions involved. Humans are emotional creatures; in fact, we are the only emotional creatures. We are unique from the rest of the created world in that we have wills, intellects and emotions. These three trademarks of the human psyche are integral to any negotiation, and the more value involved, the more these three human traits play a role.

    When emotions take the stage in a negotiation, things can get skewed very quickly, and what began as a logical journey to a reasonable conclusion becomes an intense entanglement of anger, pride, and despondency.

    When people get angry, they let reason go to the wind. “Okay, fine,” they say, “if he is going to treat me like I’m stupid, I’ll make sure he knows I’m not.” Then an unwise, unproductive decision is made.

    When a negotiation becomes a showdown of who can prove they are getting the better deal, there’s a battle of pride, and the two sides just continue to try to top the other and the negotiation goes nowhere.

    When someone feels like the breath was just knocked out of them, like when the opposing party downplays or even criticizes what the other party thought was the most valuable element of the deal, a hurt, dejected emotion surfaces and there is an underlying resentment from there on through the rest of the process.

    Emotions are poison to negotiations.

    A skilled negotiator who understands how to apply effective negotiation tactics will do all she can to leave emotions at the door… and lock the door behind her until an agreement is reached.

    In many negotiations, emotions are expected to arise, and some situations almost guarantee them. When two people who have lived in their house for thirty years, reared their children there, made lifelong friendships with the neighbors, and remodeled the home with their own blood and sweat and tears, realize they are at a point where they must sell, they are not going to sell easily. You can bet these folks are going to have some serious emotions when accepting an offer to buy their home. They are selling a part of themselves and may need some serious motivation, which could be an irresistible, bullet proof, over-asking price offer from a buyer.

    And this can mean a tough negotiation ahead.

    High octane deals can create problems, but there are negotiation tactics to deal with them. Here are a few to consider:

    • Understand the other party may be putting on a front

    Some of the nicest, most pleasant people become monsters at the negotiating table. Why? Many reasons. For one, certain people believe you are supposed to be rude and hard-nosed in a negotiation. Yes, they are wrong, but telling them about it is useless. The important thing to remember is you must absorb the abrasiveness and harsh language with grace. Let them be as assinne as they want, but don’t let it affect you. Even if you are burning inside because the buyer just told you the mural your friend painted on the building side will be painted over as soon as the recording ink dries, DON’T LET THEM KNOW IT. Emotion is fine; expressing emotion in a business dealing is weakness.

    You must be strong whether you feel it or not, because it is not so much how you feel that counts, it is how the other side perceives how you feel.

    • View everything from the standpoint of fair market value

    The fact that you hand planned those deck boards and involved your kids through the whole project really doesn’t matter. It may make the deck more valuable to you, but it doesn’t to your buyer. A deck is worth what the fair market value for decks is. Nothing more. In a similar way, the fact that it took you a full year of pursuit to secure that particular client doesn’t affect the value to the buyer of your business. The client is worth the fair market value of their revenue generation for the business. Nothing more.

    Leaving personal emotions out of the deal will help a negotiator to view the value and transferability of his assets properly, and encourage a healthy and balanced negotiation.

    • Have a third party do the negotiating

    Usually big corporations involved in mergers and acquisitions and buy-outs employ the services of an attorney or attorneys to handle the negotiations. This is partly because of the technical know-how required in complicated deals, but it is more than that. Corporate execs know that to have an outside, neutral person to handle the dealing removes any personal element (or at least most of it) from the negotiations. The attorney’s job is not on the line, nor is his standing in the company. But the executive’s is, and there is power in removing those personal elements which can make a party weaker.

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    Source by Rhett Kniep

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  • What Is The Best Style Of Writing For Online Content?

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    If your website has poor online content it has little or no value to your audience. Online content can be read, watched, listened to and shared. It can be a written article (like the one you're reading now), a blog post, a report, an eBook, an online tutorial, a video or an audio file.

    But one of the most challenging tasks that most website owners face is writing or producing online content that their audience will find useful and engaging. Here a 5 tips to help you create online content that your audience will love.

    1. Understand The Difference Between Offline And Online

    Content that is published in the offline world, like in newspapers and magazines, is different to the content published on most websites. Content in newspapers and magazines generally appeal to a broad audience. Whereas your website content will be quite specific to your audience. You still need good grammar and spelling in your online content but many other traditional rules of writing are broken online.

    2. Small Paragraphs

    When people read online they want short paragraphs of text that can be quickly scanned. Your website visitors don't want to be overwhelmed with large blocks of text. Short paragraphs of text make it easier for your reader to focus on what you have written, and skip from section to section.

    3. Bullet Points And Subheadings

    When you use bullet points and subheadings it also make your content easy to read on a screen. Subheadings provide your reader a basic idea of ​​what the content is about, which can help keep people attention for longer. Bullet points are brief and concise, delivering important information in a simple style.

    4. Use Images And Photos

    People expect to have images included with online content. They make your website look better, articles easier to scan and enhance to your brand. Personal photographs are great for a personal blog and you can also find lots of free pictures, images and photos on numerous stock photo websites.

    5. Overall Tone

    Web content can be more conversational. Keep your writing tone light, casual and interesting if you are writing informal content. Of course, if you're writing for a technical website you will have to use the proper descriptions and appropriate language structure. Having said that, in many instances, an informal tone shows off your individuality and is a great way to connect with your online audience.

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    Source by Jon Allo

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  • Role of Alternative Medicine in Modern Society

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    Typically, alternative medicine differs from traditional medicine in that alternative medicine is older and what we might call unconventional or non-Western medicine. Alternative medicine does not follow the traditional science and research that current medicines undergo. Alternative medicine could also be termed complementary or traditional medicine or the therapies that can be integrated into current medicine. The staff of the National Library of Medicine of the United States classified alternative medicine under the category of complementary therapies in their Medical Subjects Heading Section. This was done in the year 2002. The definition provided was that alternative medicine therapeutic practices were not considered as an integral part of the traditional allopathic medicine. Therapies like acupuncture, dieting, physical therapy like exercises or yoga, etc. are termed as alternative medicine. These therapies are called complementary when they are used along with conventional treatments. If they are done in place of conventional treatments, they are known as alternative treatments.

    In April 1995, the panel of National Institutes of Health, Bethesda, Maryland, worked on Definition & Description, CAM Research Methodology Conference, Office of Alternative Medicine. The panel defined alternative medicine and complementary medicine as those healing resources that encompass all health systems and practices that are different from the dominant health system of a particular society or culture. Usually, therapies like ayurveda, herbal medicine, folk medicine, homeopathy, acupuncture, naturopathy, diet practices, chiropractic, music therapy, massage, pranic healing, etc. are classified as alternative or complementary medicine. People who do not find a cure, remedy or success in allopathic medicine generally try alternative medicine. Such people generally suffer from cancer, arthritis, acquired immuno deficiency syndrome (AIDS), chronic back pain, etc. Therapies included under alternative medicine would cease to be included in that category once their efficacy is proven and they are considered safe and effective. They are then considered as part of traditional medicine. An example would be chiropractors. Twenty years ago insurance would not pay for them as they were considered “alternative and ineffective.” Today thousands of people have been helped by chiropractors and they are now recognized in the medical community. A similar movement is underway in the nutritional supplement and nutraceutical industry.

    Over the years, more and more people have been using alternative medicine because traditional medicine is not working for them. The 2004 survey by the National Center for Complementary & Alternative Medicine of the United States revealed that approximately 36% of Americans used alternative medicine in 2002. If alternative medicine is used in conjunction with traditional allopathic medicine, an integrative doctor is a person’s best option. Some traditional doctors are adamantly against or simply do not believe in complementary medicine, even though research continues to show the benefits of many compounds. Your doctor should be informed about other approaches you may be using and if they are not comfortable with that then always feel free to choose another doctor. This would enable the doctor to foresee any possible complications or a better time in which to use a complementary therapy. The concern in using alternative medicine stems from the fact that some practitioners of alternative medicine do not have an accredited medical degree and therefore do not have a valid medical license. However, in recent times, many educational institutions and universities have started offering courses in homeopathy, ayurveda, siddha, unani, acupuncture, and naturopathy. The recent growth in this industry is evident by the many people demanding different, and in some cases better, care than what they are receiving in “modern medicine.” They are no longer accepting the fact that they need to suffer with pain or illness because modern pharmacy does not have a magic bullet for them.

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    Source by Darren Dunner

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  • The Only Real Cure For Irritable Bowel Syndrome

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    In this article I will talk about irritable bowel syndrome specifically IBS-D which manifests itself in loose bowel movements or alternating diarrhea and constipation. I will not talk about IBS-C which appears to manifest itself in solely bloating and constipation.

    If you have landed on this page it will be because you like many millions of others have either been trying to self diagnose your condition or more likely that you are looking for a cure. I must warn you in advance, although I have an academic background I am not a medical health professional and you should always consult a doctor before embarking on any form of treatment however mild.

    In this article I will be covering my battle with IBS for approximately 10 years and how I finally found a cure that works. Everybody has a different story when it comes to IBS-D but as I found out, we all have something in common. I will go on to discuss this in the following paragraphs but I just want to start by saying a little bit about me.

    About 10 years ago I was a young university graduate and decided to join a job that first seemed exciting with infinite possibilities. I soon learned that this job was very stressful and required a 24 hour commitment. I didn’t have a problem with working hard but I had a problem with my work environment. Many people at work were miserable, anxious, and horrible to one another and constantly testing their bodies to the limit. It seemed the norm to be constantly stressed out, have a poor diet and feel like you had no control over your life. My work was my life and my life was nonexistent.

    Within a few months I started to come into work and make my way straight to the toilet. As any sufferer of IBS-D will known this meant constant diarrhea. It didn’t matter what I ate or drank I would always have diarrhea. It was not uncommon for me to visit the toilet three or four times a day having eaten little to nothing and immediately have diarrhea.

    Slowly I just got used the feeling and for whatever reason I thought nothing more of it. As soon as I would eat I would not feel at ease until I had gone and empties my bowels after which I immediately felt better. Along with the diarrhea I would lose water from my body which I never had time to replace so I looked like a dried out prune. Over 5 years I continued to do this to my body hoping that I would find a better role in my job and finally this would all stop.

    It certainly did not go away in fact into my 6th year of IBS-D suddenly out of nowhere I started getting debilitating cramps followed immediately by diarrhea. I would have these cramps 5-10 times a day and would literally need to run to the toilet or feel like I was about to soil myself. This made it difficult to be effective at my job which then created a vicious cycle causing my IBS-D to completely go out of control.

    I suddenly thought that I had developed cancer and stated reading everything on the internet about what disease matched up with my symptoms. I found quite a few which is why self diagnosis is not such a wise idea. I went to my doctor and we stated off with a course of antibiotics as he thought I might have developed in infection after an episode of food poisoning.

    This didn’t have any lasting effect and soon I was back to him demanding more in depth tests. This started a with a breath test to rule out food allergies and went onto multiple blood tests to eventually eliminating ulcers, colitis, coeliac disease, Crones disease gut infections, etc. I then went to the next and final step which was endoscopy of both the upper and lower digestive tracts. This all came back negative too. Finally I was diagnosed with severe IBS-D. In one way I was relieved to know that I didn’t have something like colon cancer but at the same time I was depressed thinking IBD apparently has no cure.

    The next chapter of my life involved trailing a long list of medicines in the hope that they would resolve this issue. Now I want to tell you that of the drugs that I took, there are many people out there that rave about some of these drugs and what it has done for them. That is great as everyone’s body is different and what works for you may not work for me.

    I am addressing the huge numbers of sufferers worldwide who like me have tried everything under the sun and were unable to find a cure. Now the following is a non exhaustive list of drugs which I tried and the results by their side.

    Fibre (ineffective) Made things worse

    Pre & Probiotics (ineffective) At first seemed promising but quickly stopped working

    Exercise (ineffective)

    Drinking Lots of water (ineffective) Made things worse

    Exclusion diet (ineffective) Some foods like cheese, chocolate, spice made my IBS worse but exclusion of all the culprits did not resolve matters.

    Anti Spasmodic (ineffective) Lots of different brands but all useless

    Imodium (ineffective) Helped a little with the diarrhea but certainly not the cramps

    Tri Cyclic Anti Depressant (ineffective) Has a drying up effective at first but quickly runs out

    Hypnotherapy (ineffective) Very insightful and relaxing but not enough by itself

    At this point the consultant G.I specialist had run out of ideas and I was left to suffer on my own.

    Having done countless hundreds of hours of research I came across the answer. In Islam we believe that for every single disease God has made a cure so go seek it.

    These are my opinions on IBS-D;

    IBS-D will not kill you, it can easily be treated and there is nothing seriously wrong with you

    IBS-D Is a functional disorder which is caused 99% by stress be it conscious or subconscious

    IBS-D can only ever be treated by dealing with the cause behind the problem and not the problem itself

    IBS-D affects people generally in the Western world where the 24/7 lifestyle and pressures of society cause people to be stressed out beyond limits and this is often brushed off as mild anxiety or depression.

    So here is the magic bullet you have all been waiting for that worked for me and if my concept is correct should work 100% without fail for genuine IBS-D sufferers.

    First accept that you have IBS-D because you are under pressure consciously or subconsciously and this is your body’s way of warning you that enough is enough.

    I spoke to my G.P and asked for Venlafaxine XL which is an SNRI antidepressant. I choose this specifically because it had constipation as one of its side effects; it was a powerful antidepressant and reduced visceral hypersensitivity.

    Within 6 months at 150mg a day I had completely 100% recovered from any symptoms of IBS-D.

    So how did it work? It is simple; the vicious cycle of stress, followed by cramps followed by diarrhea was broken. I no longer worried every time I went out if I had been food poisoned or where the nearest toilet was. It just let me get on with life without thinking about IBS and soon I was able just stop worrying about IBS and that is it.

    Every single person reacts differently to different antidepressants so try them and see which one works best for you. Whilst you are on them you could try using hypnotherapy to make you understand that if you take the stress away then you break the cycle. It’s your thoughts that control your bowels. Controlling your thoughts will help control you’re IBS but as I said before hypnotherapy is ineffective on its own.

    The only other drug that I have used when coming off Venlafaxine was a benzodiazepine called Alprazolem, brand name XANAX. In the UK this is not prescribed on the NHS so you will have to get it by private prescription. This drug can be addictive but if you have good self control it is an excellent drug to use on a controlled as needed basis. One tablet of 0.5 mg and I would be saying what IBS? You have to be very very careful not to increase your dose or develop a habit for this drug. You should also know it can develop tolerance and so you will then need to start increasing your does. Use it like it is supposed to be used as a treatment for IBS and not recreationally for you pleasure and you will have no problem.

    Finally I’d like to conclude by saying that if I didn’t have God in my life I probably would have given up long ago. Now I have my life back and am free from IBS-D. God always gave me hope so never give up the search for treatment and treatment starts with knowledge of your condition. So don’t make the mistakes I made and loose ten years of your life before realising that we are all human and we all have breaking points. If you have gone past that breaking point your body will tell you one way or another so listen to your body.

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    Source by Jordan James Sinclair

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  • 13 Healing Bullet Points

    13 Healing Bullet Points

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    Your life is not defined by the trials you encounter; it is determined by how you respond to personal challenges.

    “I am the source for the perspectives I choose to hold… regardless of how aware I am of why or how I come to possess that particular perspective. It takes courage to look into the mirror of our souls, absent excuses. I will look into that mirror little bits at a time. SEE and ACT. SEE what I can bear to see and ACT upon what I am able. This is the heart of a gentle invitation to personal responsibility.” ~ Mary Anne Radmacher

    Consider the following 13 bullet points and promises:

    • 1. Understanding how to heal your grief is your first essential step. THE PROMISE: A more clear understanding of your grief is possible as you stop grieving and start healing.

    • 2. Creating decisive thinking, attitude and skill are must-have qualities to master happiness. THE PROMISE: You can develop psychological and emotional empowerment by practicing specific and consistent actions.

    • 3. Don’t be stuck in a negative outlook; as a cure learn how to use grateful moments. THE PROMISE: By expressing your gratitude for uplifting and positive emotional experiences you can find the inner empowerment to start healing and begin new hope.

    • 4. Rescue yourself from floundering in your painful past. THE PROMISE: Concentrating on your new you and new conditions can begin your life anew.

    • 5. Take control of your personal thoughts and actions THE PROMISE. You have far more ability to determine what you think and how you act than you initially imagine.

    • 6. Wanting to heal is not enough; persuasive desires can give you vital healing clarity. THE PROMISE: As you hunger and thirst to overcome your grief and loss a clearer path will appear.

    • 7. Desiring your old life back is counterproductive; embracing your new circumstance will give you empowerment. THE PROMISE: New opportunities and possibilities are within your reach as you seek them.

    • 8. Everyone’s grief clock keeps its own time; your grief healing clock is correct – follow that time. THE PROMISE: Be kind to the grief you feel; allowing a short period of time for your sorrow is OK which will bring you clarity and resolve.

    • 9. You can’t hibernate expecting to awaken in the spring with your sorrow healed – action steps bring reconciliation. THE PROMISE: Happiness and hope are the result of your actions.

    • 10. Because of your horrendous condition you can feel uncertainty; yet, finding joy again is possible. THE PROMISE: You may experience hopelessness, indecision, impossibilities, even anger; nonetheless, finding new joy is reachable.

    • 11. You are not alone, thousands of others have suffered through their grief and found joy – you can also. THE PROMISE: You can find personal strength in the many examples of reconciling grief and finding joy again.

    • 12. Reinforce your capacity to direct your own attention toward your goal. THE PROMISE: You can guide yourself more effectively toward healing your grief and loss.

    • 13. Re-evaluate your outlook; consider all shifts that have occurred from your grief happening. THE PROMISE: As you reconnect with your passions, people, places or things you did previous and embrace the hope of greater understanding, peace and joy – clearness and hope will come.

    “Greatness is not in where we stand, but in what direction we are moving. We must sail sometimes with the wind and sometimes against it – but sail we must, and not drift, nor lie at anchor.” ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

    Finding healing, harmony and happiness after grief involves a specific conditioning of the mind and heart. A steady fulfillment of contentment, confidence and hope are needed and essential. The 13 foregoing important bullet points and promises will support you in understanding, reconciling, and healing your grief and loss; they will give you inner empowerment needed to weather your personal life storms.

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    Source by Duane Marchant

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