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Created To Bond – Changes That Heal Part II
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Failure To Develop Relationships

Emotional ties have a dramatic effect on our well-being. When one fails to develop relationships or bond with others, it can and often does affect their ability to stave off or recover from a variety of not only physical but also emotional ills. When they learn to attach to and trust others, they begin to develop not only emotionally, but also psychologically. Thus, their ability to bond with others… to become closely knit, often carryover into their home life.

When a child is distressed, he/she may show unusual signs such as increased pulse, increased or labored respiration, helplessness, and hopelessness and may easily become enraged. These signs are often seen when the biological parent remarries and the child tends to believe that he/she must compete with the step-parent for the biological parent’s attention.

When the adoptive or step-parent enters the situation with food, physical contact, compassion and other help, the child learns her parents can meet her needs. The child is then more active and able to respond to stimulation such as playing. When the child is content, she is able to sleep and feel comfortable in her surroundings.

According to Deborah Gray, author of Attaching in Adoption, “attachment is a relationship formed primarily with members of the family and requires more time and interaction to be created. Attachment is what most adoptive parents are referring to when they talk about bonding with their child. Adopted children of all ages may have an attachment to their birth family, even if the relationship was neglectful or abusive. Many adoption experts agree that if a child can form an attachment to birth and foster parents, she will have the skills to attach to her adoptive family as well.”

Signs of Secure Attachment

The parental attachment process can often take weeks or years to fully develop, and in some cases there maybe pervasive attachment disorders for which professional therapy will be required. A strong indicator of whether attachment is taking place is the comfort with which the adoptive or step-parent is able to recognize the child’s needs. It is important to remember that the repetition of parents meeting a child’s needs is the foundation of forming a secure attachment with children of all ages, not just infants.

The attachment bond shapes an infant’s brain

The attachment bond is the term for our first interactive love relationship-the one we had with our primary caregivers, that is, our mothers. The mother-child attachment bond is instrumental in shaping infants brains. This important attachment profoundly influences our self-esteem, our expectations of others, and our ability to attract and maintain successful relationships. So, the success, or failure, of our first love-the attachment bond-has a life-long effect.

Our secure attachment bond shapes our abilities to:
- feel safe
- develop meaningful connections with others
- explore our world
- deal with stress
- balance emotions
- experience comfort and security
- make sense of our lives
- create positive memories and expectations of relationships
Attachment bonds are as unique as we are. Primary caretakers do not have to be perfect. They do not have to always be in agreement with their infants’ emotions, but it helps if they are emotionally available a majority of the time.

We were born with an innate or preprogrammed need to bond with one very significant person-our primary caregiver, usually our mother. Like all infants, you were a small bundle of disjointed emotions-intensely experiencing fear, anger, sadness, and joy, often at the same time. The natural emotional attachment that grew between you and your caregiver was the first interactive relationship of your life, and it depended upon nonverbal communication. Therefore, the bonding you experienced in this relationship determined how you would relate to other people throughout your life. This bonding relationship established the foundation for all verbal and nonverbal communication in your future relationships.

For better or worse, the attachment bond profoundly influences the infant brain. It is a baby’s first love relationship. When the primary caretaker can manage personal stress, calm the infant, communicate through emotion, share joy, and forgive easily, the young child’s nervous system becomes “securely attached.” The strong foundation of a secure attachment bond enables the child to be self-confident, trusting, hopeful, and comfortable in the face of conflict. As an adult, he or she will be flexible, creative, hopeful, and optimistic.

People who fail to establish this type of bonding relationship often experience confusing, frightening, or broken emotional communications during their infancy and often grow into adults who have difficulty understanding their own emotions and the feelings of others. This hampers their ability to establish, build and/or maintain attachments leading to successful relationships.

What is Attachment?

Attachment is the relationship between infants and their primary caregivers-is responsible for:
- shaping the success or failure of future intimate relationships
- the ability to maintain a normal emotional balance
- the ability to enjoy being ourselves and to find satisfaction in being with others
- the ability to successfully rebound from various disappointments, discouragement, and misfortune
Many scientific studies of the brain-and the primary role attachment plays in shaping it-has given us a new basis for understanding why vast numbers of people have great difficulty communicating with the most important individuals in their work and love lives. Once, we could only use guesswork to try and determine why important relationships never evolved, or developed chronic problems, or fell apart. Now, thanks to new insights into brain development, we can understand what it takes to help build and nurture productive and meaningful relationships at home and at work.

What is the attachment bond?

The mother-child bond is the primary force in infant development, according to the attachment bond theory pioneered by English psychiatrist John Bowlby and American psychologist Mary Ainsworth. The theory has gained strength through worldwide scientific studies and the use of brain imaging technology.

The attachment bond theory states that the relationship between infants and primary caretakers is responsible for:
- shaping all of our future relationships
- strengthening or damaging our abilities to focus, be conscious of our feelings, and calm ourselves
- the ability to bounce back from misfortune
Scientific research reveals the infant/adult interactions that result in a successful, secure attachment, where both people are aware of the other’s feelings and emotions is the necessary precursor for successful relationships. These studies also reveal troubled, or insecure attachment, in which the communication of feelings fails thus resulting in an inability to form the bind needed to establish a solid relationship. Researchers found that in order to have successful adult relationships there must exist in us and we must depend on the ability to:
- manage stress
- stay “tuned in” with emotions
- use communicative body language
- be playful in a mutually engaging manner
- be readily forgiving, relinquishing grudges
The same research also found that when an insecure attachment exists some type of abuse may have caused it, but it is just as likely to be caused by isolation or loneliness. These recent discoveries offer a new glimpse into successful love relationships. Taking these observations into account often provides the keys to identifying and repairing a love relationship that is strained or falling apart.

Insecure attachment affects adult relationships

Insecurity can be a significant problem in all of our lives, and it usually takes root when an infant’s attachment bond fails to provide the child with sufficient structure, recognition, understanding, safety, and mutual accord. These insecurities may lead us to:
- Tune out and turn off-Most often, if our parent is unavailable and self-absorbed, we may-as children-get lost in our own inner world, we become introverted, avoiding any close, emotional connections. This often causes us as adults to become physically and emotionally distant in relationships.
- Remain insecure-If we have parents who are inconsistent or intrusive, it’s more than likely that we will become unrealistically anxious and fearful, never knowing what to expect. Then as adults, we may become willingly available one moment and totally rejecting the next.
- Become disorganized, aggressive and angry-When our early needs for emotional closeness and comfort is neglected, or when a parent’s erratic behavior is a source of disorienting terror, emotional problems are sure to follow. As we grow into adults, we may lack the ability to love easily and may unknowingly be insensitive to the needs of our partner.
- Develop slowly-Problems often occur when we fail to develop as rapidly as we should, both emotionally and intellectually. Such developmental delays often manifest themselves in the form of deficits and often result in subsequent physical and mental health problems, and generally lead to social and learning disabilities.
Lessons Learned From Our Attachment Bond

There are many powerful, life-altering lessons we learn from our attachment bond-our first love relationship continues to teach us as adults. The gut-level knowledge we gained from this bond then guides us in improving our adult relationships and making them secure.

Lesson No. 1-All adult relationships depend on nonverbal forms of communication for their success. These nonverbal communication skills are learned in infancy. Newborn infants cannot talk, reason or plan; yet they are equipped to make sure their needs are met. Infants don’t know what they need, they feel what they need, and communicate accordingly. When an infant communicates with a caretaker who understands and meets their physical and emotional needs an attachment takes place and the strength of that attachment influences other relationships later in life.

Lesson No. 2-Relationships in which the parties are tuned in to each other’s emotions are called attuned relationships, and attuned relationships teach us that:
- nonverbal cues deeply impact our love relationships
- as we play it helps us smooth over the turbulent times we endure in love relationships
- inevitable conflicts can build trusting relationships if we approach them without fear or a need to punish or retaliate
When we can recognize knee-jerk memories, perceive expectations, inappropriate attitudes, unfounded assumptions and improper behaviors as problems resulting from insecure attachment bonds, we can squelch their influence and their effect on our adult relationships. That recognition allows us to readily reconstruct the healthy nonverbal communication skills that ultimately produce an attuned attachment and successful relationship.

Becoming an Adult and Relationship Orientation

As we grow into adulthood, for the most part we bring with us the ideas and communication lessons we have learned from the time of our infancy. Whether these are good or bad depends on our ability to not only view life from our perspective but also have the ability and the willingness to see things from the other person’s point of view as well. When we are able to do that, then we are in a more astute position to deal with situations and circumstances that are adverse to us.

As we move through the adolescent stage of life we find ourselves at odds not only with others but also with ourselves. We want to be an adult with all of its rights and privileges sooner that we can become one, yet at the same time we want to abdicate the responsibility that goes with that station in life. It is a time of being able to make your own decisions and taking authority over your own life, but you are not there yet. You must learn to maintain control of your impulsiveness and your inhibitions. You must be able to objectionably reevaluate your beliefs, see your parents and authority figures realistically, recognize and pursue your God-given talents and goals, and be willing to take ultimate responsibility for yourself. Finally you must be able to accept and appreciate people who are different.

This ability helps us to be able to accept the good and the bad because we are able to address situations in a mature manner. When we are able to do this, we place ourselves into a position of strength, resulting in a proper evaluation of ourselves. Thus we are able to overcome some of the most persistent problems we face daily because now we are not only able to see things in black and white but also in the various shades of gray. As such, we are able to make allowances for our and other peoples mistakes.

We at that point come to realize that everything in life doesn’t have to go our way in order for us to be happy. We gain a new perspective on ourselves, others and God as a result of our changed thinking. We are then able to deal with each other with mercy, in grace, with the understanding that we too make mistakes. When we move into the realm of tolerance and forgiveness, we are able to love others without them having to be perfect.

Yet, in order to accomplish the task and responsibility of growing up we must also be willing to take responsibility and be accountable for those things of which we have been put in charge. Those things include our attitude, tongue, and actions. As we continue to grow in stature and wisdom the maturity level of our life should also increase proportionately.

Differences Between Men And Women

From my experience in dealing with women, (my mother, aunts, seven sisters and many friends and associates) I find that the majority of women are generally oriented towards their existing friendship networks whereas men were more interested in meeting new people and finding people who had similar interests — in other words, men would rather enjoy the adventure of reaching out to new people rather than cementing their existing relationships.

These results contribute to the growing research on social capital, networking and highlight the importance of examining specific interactive applications. The importance of distinguishing between strong and weak ties plays a major role in establishing new relationships. Also, it is necessary to consider the importance of taking into account gender differences in social interaction patterns. Whereas, women increase their bonding social capital as a result of using these sites but men do not. Women, on the other hand, show a decrease in bonding social capital with those whom they meet outside of their normal sphere of influence.

The fear of incorporating emotional intimacy into these association/relationships is mainly due to a fear of rejection and engulfment – a fear of losing the other and/or losing yourself. To overcome this obstacle you must be able to establish an inner bond with yourself. Inner Bonding is a transformational process for healing the fear of intimacy related ideas that have been carried from past experiences.

The mental visualization of these experiences often cause us to digress into a self-contained state of emotional security that hinders our ability to openly tolerate the inconsistencies we see in others. As a result, we ourselves are moved to a protective state and therefore unable to deal with the negative feelings that we will invariably experience. This barrier can block us from resolving issues that in reality are non-issues.

The Immaturity In Adolescence

Struggles with adolescent identity and depression usually set in when an adolescent experiences a loss. The most important loss in their lives is the changing relationship between the adolescent and their parents. Adolescents may also experience strife in their relationships with friends. This may be due to the activities their friends take part in, such as smoking, which causes adolescents to feel as though participating in such activities themselves is likely essential to maintaining these friendships. Teen depression can be extremely intense at times because of physical and hormonal changes but emotional instability is part of adolescence. Their changing mind, body and relationships often present themselves as stressful and that change, they assume, is something to be feared.

Your experiences in life help you to mature. The maturity is developed when you know you have no one to blame for the past but the circumstances and your immaturity. Oftentimes your immaturity stopped you from having a proper perspective of the facts facts and seeing things as they were. This made you blame others for your sufferings. You may have created and escalated your suffering without realizing the facts and circumstances and taking a easy way out by holding others responsible for it.

You feel you are always on the receiving end of every wrong or perceived wrong due to your immaturity. However, life has a knack of replaying memories and after few years it recreates the same circumstances but this time puts you on the opposite side (giving end), you are left with no choice but to accept the fact that you were so immature then and have grow-up with years. As you mature, life makes you see your ‘old you’ in somebody else now in these replaying of circumstances and you know that the other person still has to wait years ahead to grow and realize these facts.

Maturity slowly leads to wisdom when you know that it is only you who has to stand up and take responsibility for your past – action / inaction, sufferings / failures instead of holding others responsible. It is truly said that you create your own happiness. By blaming others and holding grudges you keep happiness at bay and give way to hatred and self pity. However, with time and wisdom when you accept the responsibility for your sufferings and embrace all your successes without pride -you are truly happy.

Divorce And Its Affects On Maturity

Children of divorced parents often bitterly vow not to repeat the same mistakes. They want to avoid putting themselves and their own children through the pain that comes from the dissolution of a marriage. But, according to University of Utah researcher Nicholas H. Wolfinger, these children’s aspirations face unfavorable odds. “Growing up in a divorced family greatly increases the chances of ending one’s own marriage, a phenomenon called the divorce cycle or the intergenerational transmission of divorce.” Dr. Wolfinger has spent almost a decade studying the marriages of children from divorced homes in America. These children are more likely to marry during their teenage years, cohabitate and marry someone who is also a child of divorced parents. And they are also one-third less likely to marry if they are over age 20.

“Understanding the Divorce Cycle: The Children of Divorce in Their Own Marriages,” by Wolfinger, published by Cambridge University Press, contains important information for those interested in divorce and its repercussions. “Divorce is an important topic because it has so many consequences for well-being,” writes Wolfinger,

“Its transmission between generations adds a whole new dimension by perpetuating the cycle of divorce. The divorce cycle, in short, can be thought of as a cascade. Ending a marriage starts a cycle that threatens to affect increasing numbers of people over time, a sobering thought in an era when half of all new marriages fail.” His research also suggests that if one spouse comes from divorced parents, the couple may be up to twice as likely to divorce. Spouses who are both children of divorced parents are three times more likely to divorce as couples who both hail from intact families.

Besides observing the marital stability of the offspring of divorced couples, Wolfinger’s book provides another perspective on how parental divorce affects offspring marriage timing, mate selection, cohabitating relationships as well as historical trends in the divorce cycle. Wolfinger also explores the divorce reform movement in America and argues in favor of no-fault divorce laws, arguing that a return to an age of tough divorce laws would recreate the social conditions that used to make divorce harder on children.

It is my opinion considering all that has been written on this subject that one reason children from divorced families get divorced more often is because they have a tendency to marry as teenagers. Social history demonstrates that the older you are when you marry, the less likely you are to get divorced. It’s good advice for everyone.”

On the other hand, the more transitions children experience while growing up, the more they will experience as adults. Taking this into consideration, the question that needs to be asked is, “What is the hardest for kids is how many disruptions they experience — the up-and-down cycles.

This is a valid question because many children will have stepparents, and some will see their new families dissolve. This type of disruption occurs any time they lose a parent — except from death. That’s different, and doesn’t have the same negative effects on children… whereas divorce is ambiguous. Children wonder whether the divorce was their fault or who is to blame. And they wonder ‘Is he coming back?’” It is certainly good news that people are less likely to stay in high conflict marriages than they used to. However, “ending a low-conflict marriage may hurt children as much as staying in a high-conflict family,” and the odds of divorce transmission are actually highest if parents dissolve a marriage after little or no conflict. It therefore behooves us to evaluate the effects divorce will have upon our children and their emotional well being should we decide to travel that road.

But before making that decision, we should honestly examine ourselves and the motivating things that are moving us in that direction. This inventory, if prayerfully done will allow us to see the other persons point of view more clearly and thereby make the necessary adjustments, where warranted, to resolve the issues that precipitated situation to begin with. If we are truly willing to continue the relationship, then we must take the necessary steps needed to resolve the issues of what is good or bad by first considering what we could have done to alleviate the problem rather than casting blame. When we allow the power of forgiveness to flow in us we cannot only deal with the past and present, but also the future as bonds are cemented.

Gray, Deborah. Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today’s Parents. Indiana:Perspectives Press Inc., 2002.

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Source by Franklyn T. Johnson, Ph.D

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February 3, 2020
MLM – In Unashamed Defense of Multi-Level and Network Marketing

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One of the things that tells you are being successful in your online marketing efforts is an increasing number of emails from nay sayers, spoilers and people who are just down right rude.

I recently received one from an IT expert who was independently well off thanks to stock options and profit sharing. He mocked MLM people as “bottom feeders” and said, “I mock MLM as a business model.” Probably very easy to do when you’re loaded thanks to stock options, etc – just hope his company doesn’t go the way of Enron!

To be honest I mock most other business models as an inefficient and sometimes down right unethical way to do business. Example one:- Small family in china produces components for a larger company for a tiny margin, large company then sells products to a wholesaler, wholesale then sells it to a foreign wholesaler who then sells it to a retailer who sells it to the consumer. Now this is a basic model – sometimes the middle men can be much more numerous. Either way the original producer gets screwed and the consumer gets screwed thanks to the number of middle man. This is even worse in the agricultural industry. Go to a farmer and ask him how much he/she gets for a liter of milk, a ton of potatoes, etc – it will shock you! They get a pittance of the final shelf price. For farmers to continue to rely on the big multinationals to do the right thing by them is the seriously flawed business model as they continue to be driven to the wall. I MOCK TRADITIONAL BUSINESS MODELS.

The worlds biggest MLM is the international illegal drug market – although they trade in evil and death they are a huge network of people from poppy fields in Afghanistan to street sellers in western cities – the high estimate is that the world wide industry is $500 billion. The a lot of money for what is an MLM. Should MLM still be mocked as a business model?!

Multi-level marketing and network marketing is found throughout the business world. Real Estate agents, Dealerships, and many other ‘traditional’ business often have levels of reward depending on number of sales, sales people below you, etc. The internet abound with affiliate programs that are multi-leveled to reward affiliates not only for product sales, but also if they bring in new affiliates.

Why is MLM so hated by the traditionalists? One it represents a threat. It means a load more competitors. It puts products profits into the hands of the consumers. It means less sales bonuses for them and less margins for the middle men. It means the wealthy can lose control of markets that they previously dominated. Who would you be more scared of – another multi-national with a sales team of 100 people, or a MLM with 100,000 non-professional sales people? Genuine people power has always frightened those in control of both the power and the purse strings. Why would you give the profits to the consumer instead of the share holders? Of course it rattles their cage – it threatens their very existence. Instead of a CEO earning millions for doing nothing, he/she would actually have to get out there and prove that they could sell a product to be successful. Hugely frightened for someone relying on their degrees and old tie network to get ahead.

Multi-level marketing and network marketing is also hated by the traditionalist because it frees people from slavery to a forty hour working week. They love people to be in credit card debt. They love people to HAVE to go to work to survive. They love people having big mortgages. They love people being CONSUMERS. They don’t want consumers to turn into producers. It spoils there party. They don’t want people to be free to from the “traditional” working (slavery) model.

At the end of the day it doesn’t matter what the naysayers say about MLM, the only thing that matters is can you succeed at MLM.

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Source by Alastair Harris

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February 2, 2020
Charity Auctions – Using a Cash Call

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Auctions are an excellent way to raise needed funds for worthy causes. They are also a valued social event for the people who enjoy attending them, whether they are directly involved with the cause or charity, or simply people from the community who like going to and participating in these events. Whatever the reason, you can bring a much more successful outcome to your live or silent auction through the use of a Cash Call, also called the Special Appeal, Fund-A-Need, Emotional Appeal, Bid for a Cause, or Bid for a Cure.

The Cash Call is part of the evening’s agenda, which is separate from the live or silent auction, but which is aiming to raise money for the same cause. It is a very common event that attendees will often expect. The way it works is that someone from the organization that is doing the fund raising will make an impassioned appeal to the audience members for direct donations. When done correctly, a Cash Call can in fact, bring in as much or more money than your live or silent auction.

Most professional auctioneers will be very familiar with the Cash Call, so they are an excellent resource to use to keep the energy levels up, and to keep referring back to this special appeal. While doing this, they can solicit further engagement from the audience members who may be actively bidding on items. Should an audience member not win an item, they may choose to donate the money they would’ve spent on it directly instead. Professional auctioneers are extremely adept at engaging the audience and keeping events moving along smoothly, and injecting fun, humor, and structure into your auction.

So the next time you’re raising money for a worthy cause, be sure to include a Cash Call in addition to your live and silent auction events, and watch the tally grow.

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Source by Kevin Rutter

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February 2, 2020
Why Jock Itch Might Lead to Lower Sex Drive

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Jock itch. It’s not a welcome visitor for any guy. Even when a dude is really cautious and careful about his penis health, doing everything he can to avoid an itchy penis, he might still end up with a lousy case of jock itch. And while guys all know about the itchiness and discomfort that come with this condition, not all are aware that jock itch also has the potential to affect a guy’s sex drive – and not in a positive way either.

What it is

Known among the medical community by the name tinea cruris, jock itch is a common fungal infection that affects areas of the body covered by or in close proximity to, the area where an athletic supporter is commonly worn. In other words, the penis, balls, inner thighs and buttocks are the most common sites to be afflicted by jock itch.

It presents as a red, itchy rash; frequently the rash is ring-shaped and raised around the circumference. Often it is redder on the edges and a lighter red on the interior of the ring. Sometimes the ring will have a half-moon shape rather than being round.

Fortunately, jock itch is not serious; however, it can bring forth an itchy penis that is extremely annoying. In some cases, a man can scratch the itch so ferociously that the area can become infected.

Jock itch is highly contagious and caused by the same fungus that causes athlete’s foot. So, for example, a man may get it from sharing a towel or clothing of a man with the fungus (either in the form of jock itch or athlete’s foot).

The sex drive connection

A man with jock itch may find that it has a negative effect on his sex drive. Often the reason for this is psychological. When a man has an itchy penis or scrotal area that sports examples of tinea cruris, it may deter any potential partners from engaging with him. It may also make a man feel self-conscious and worried that his formerly glorious penis has become diseased-looking and unattractive. This can in turn make him feel unappealing, a sentiment that may stay with him even after visible signs of the condition have disappeared. His sex drive may suffer as a result.

However, sometimes the decrease in sex drive may be due to the treatment employed to rid himself of his jock itch.

Many doctors recommend the use antifungal powders or creams as a means of treatment. These are often very effective. But at least two common antifungal medications – clotrimazole and ketoconazole, which are found in many medications – can be lower sex drive culprits.

Why? Although large scale studies have not been conducted, animal studies do indicate that use of these ingredients in males can lower testosterone levels. Testosterone is created mostly in the testicles and plays a significant role in bone density, muscle development, fat distribution and, of course, sex drive. Essentially, the more testosterone a man produces, the heartier his sexual appetite.

Fortunately, the effects of these medications on testosterone are temporary; after discontinuation of the treatment, a man should see his sex drive return to normal – and, of course, not all men will see an appreciable difference.

Treating jock itch is crucial, even if the sex drive is temporarily affected. The itchiness associated with jock itch is often alleviated through the use of a superior penis health crème (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil, which is clinically proven mild and safe for skin) with a combination of a high-end emollient (such as Shea butter) and a natural hydrator (such as vitamin E). These two ingredients hydrate the skin and create a moisture lock which helps reduce common itching. Keeping the penis skin healthy through the use of a powerful antioxidant is also advised. A crème with the antioxidant alpha lipoic acid is well poised to fight the free radicals that cause oxidative stress in penis skin cells.

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Source by John Dugan

Views: 0

February 2, 2020
Rich Dating Tips for Wealthy Single Men

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We’ve all noticed that a man with great wealth will grab an opportunity intimacy, or in any relationship, because he will show off his wealth. When everyone are killed for their money, the rich guys will directly hurt themselves because he always mentioned his wealth in the conversation which he revealed his financial situation to others by implication.

But wait? What do you mean? How could a man’s dating life be affected by his money? Money means he can bring women to beautiful places. That means he can go to the high-end clubs and the best bars. What’s wrong with money? Money itself does not harm anyone’s intimate life. Money will help when used properly. But the fact is that rich people habitually put their value on wealth.

The rich man subconsciously thinks he is valuable instead of judging himself, because his attributes helped him create wealth. It’s never about wealth, but it’s about forgetting that men are themselves who is attracted by women. Her money can’t be evoked and can’t really fall in love with him. In addition, who wants to be “loved” as a bank account? Here’s the antinomy: making money requires a lot of thumbprint that women crave: discipline of determine diligence. I’m sure the women who read this article agree that these characteristics are highly affinity to their boyfriends, partners, or husbands. But when a man talks about his money, his achievements, or his social status, he puts his foot under his feet. Any high quality woman who heard the noise ran to the mountain at once. She soon saw an overly compensated “show off” man who take no account of himself.

What should rich guys do? Start with some funny jokes. Start with entertainment. Forget your achievements. Bury your achievements and your possessions in the deepest part of your heart. When he meets a woman you like, it’s wise to focus on the emotional side rather than show off your wealth. Flaunt will only make her feel that you are a proud as Lucifer idiot, moreover, you can easily be used by bad guys, finally you will not only lose wealth but also love. Because it’s a secret: women are attracted to men, based on his feelings, far beyond his worth.

So instead of telling her you’re worth $1 million, let her go through a period where she feels like she has $1 million. For any man, whether there’s money or not, that’s how you catalyze your rich dating life.

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Source by Jennifer Anna

Views: 0

February 2, 2020
Healing Grief & Loss – A Fresh Start

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Every Day Can Be A Fresh Start

“There are no constraints on the human mind, no walls around the human spirit, no barriers to our progress except those we ourselves erect.”

~ Ronald Reagan

7 DAILY FRESH START BULLET POINTS can help you heal your grief and loss. You have special unique empowerment to seize the moment again and again. Erect possibilities. Erect personal healing solutions. Erect your own peace. Erect hope. Every hour of every day can be a fresh start. Your condition may limit what you are able and desire to perform. However, constraints, walls or barriers don’t need to be in your mind. The opportunities for healing and progress toward a better you are abundant even if done in small baby steps; and on a few occasions one step forward and two steps back. There are keys to minimize the constraints in your mind. 7 must-consider steps to make every day a fresh start follow:

*Fresh Start #1 Erect Possibilities

“Seeds of great discoveries are constantly floating around us,

but they only take root in minds well prepared to receive them.”

~ Joseph Henry

Your grief loss happening may have sent you on a personal detour filled with discouragement and despair. On this detour confusion and hopelessness may jump in front of you on every turn of your healing journey. This is the essential time to explore all possibilities to reconcile your sorrow and grief. Undiscovered possibilities are available. Now is time to be open to receive all possible healing opportunities. Will you prepare to receive them? Search diligently for unrecognized or hidden possibilities.

*Fresh Start #2 Erect Personal Healing Solutions

Especially after a horrendous grief experience your life can be confusing and without meaning. It is essential to recognize you bring the meaning to every living moment. The meaning of your life is what you ascribe it to be. Being alive and proactive determines your healing solutions.

*Fresh Start #3 Erect Your Own Peace

You are absolutely correct. SOMETIMES LIFE IS TOUGH! In fact, life is not always fair. To be at peace because of grief circumstances can be extremely challenging. Finding your own personal peace can be enhanced by counting all the reasons why you can be grateful. Writing down a gratitude list can buoy up your spirit. No matter your condition after your grief there are blessings you can count. Counting your blessings can bring you peace.

*Fresh Start #4 Erect Hope

“When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems you cannot hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time the tide will turn.”

~ Harriet Beecher Stowe

Hope and peace go together. Nonetheless, without hope you cannot have personal peace. Hope is a powerful and vital quality to own and magnify. Consider all the ways you might create hope in your attitude and in your actions. Holding hope in a strong grasp every day will turn your tide to more happiness, hope and peace.

*Fresh Start #5 Erect Barrier Deletes

Learn to erase negative thinking. Erase hopelessness from your daily thinking. Everyone gets discouraged. Life grief experiences may be joined with partners of despair, confusion, uncertainty, and even anger. Were it that you could simple press a delete button and erase all things that are barriers to your happiness. Essential to your transformation from your grieving experience to a happier state of mind are behaviors that will eradicate negative thinking. It begins and ends with your attitude. Others can help but you are the one who must press the delete button over and over again until your mind is full of positive thinking. You can.

*Fresh Start #6 Erect Empowerment Discovery

I like to think of a tool box inside each of us. Perhaps a hammer, chisel, screwdriver, measuring tape, a pair of pliers, a small level, to mention a few. I dare say it has been a long time since you have used all of those tools – maybe never. However, the time may very well come when a simple use of a pair of pliers will be vital to you. Just like the foregoing tools mentioned are empowerment tools for your mind and attitude. Perhaps you have not needed them before. Maybe they were not needed until your grief loss experience. They might not have ever been used. You may need to dig deep within. If you do you will discover empowerment strength you were unaware you always had. Asking again and again, what can I do will help you discover your personal needed empowerment. Strength will begin to grow in your mind.

*Fresh Start #7 Erect A Daily Fresh Start

Even without a horrendous grief experience a fresh start can be invigorating and revitalizing. Erect each day with a fresh attitude of positive possibilities and opportunities. Seek for all healing solutions. Count your blessings. Delete all negative thinking. Search for your own empowerment. Begin each day with a positive attitude. Think about how you can gain more hope with a daily fresh healing attitude.

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Source by Duane Marchant

Views: 0

February 1, 2020
Whatever Happened to Customer Service?

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In the old movie, Miracle on 34th Street, the Macy’s Santa sends customers to rival store Gimbels for products that Macy’s does not have. After a management outcry, it then turns out that customers really appreciate this service and become more loyal to Macy’s than ever before.

Retailers today have forgotten that lesson. Everybody is looking to cut costs. Customer service is no longer considered a revenue generator, so it’s one of the first things on the chopping block when a retailer starts tightening its belt.

Good customer service is good business. It creates repeat customers. Repeat customers are what every retailer wants because it is far less expensive from a marketing standpoint to sell to a former customer than to bring in new customers.

Retailers no longer know what makes “good” customer service. The general feeling is that if the product leaves the store and does not come back, everything is fine. Customer service is only for the “problems” and the job of customer service is to make the problems go away at the least possible cost. The less interaction between the store and the customer, the better.

Superior customer service demands extensive interaction between the customer and the retailer. In my Internet company we look for every possible opportunity to contact and engage the customer. Once a customer has placed an order, the company will contact them at least four times during the 4 week period between the sale and the delivery. The first contact is to acknowledge the order and thank the customer for her (or his) purchase. At that time the customer receives information about the production and delivery process and they are encouraged to call if there are any questions. A second contact is made shortly before production is complete The third contact is made when the product is actually shipped. At this time, there is a detailed description of what the delivery process will entail. There is also a tracking number provided so that the product can be tracked by the customer during the shipping process. The fourth contact is after delivery when each customer is contacted to find out whether they are happy with the product or whether some additional followup is needed.

When we receive a request for one of our free catalogs, we send it along with a letter noting that we also offer free fabric swatches and free design advice. When an order is placed, we acknowledge the order electronically, then send an email personally thanking the customer. We notify them when the product (in our case sofas) is about to be shipped. We notify them again after it has shipped. Most important, we contact the customer after the product has been received to make sure that everything is OK and that there are no problems. In doing this, sometimes there is a minor problem that the customer might not have mentioned but which distracts from the enjoyment of the sofa — for example a cushion feels too firm. We send out free, softer replacement cushions. The result is that instead of having a silent but disappointed customer, we now have a very happy buyer who enthusiastically recommends us to friends and family. The cost of the extra cushions is a marketing cost.

The secret behind outstanding customer service is simply to put yourself in the place of the customer. What would you want the company to do if you were the customer? Treat the customer the way you want to be treated.

1. Answer telephone calls promptly. It is amazing how grateful a customer can be when they realize they are speaking with a real live knowledgeable person who can answer their questions.

2. Respond to emails and phone messages promptly. All emails phone calls should be handled as quickly as possible, hopefully in less than one hour.

3. Be honest. It is amazing how often salespeople feel that telling the truth gets in the way of making a sale. If a microfiber fabric already has a stain protector built in and does not need the optional spray protector, tell the customer. Once you have saved them from spending an unnecessary $50, they will trust you completely and might even be willing to forgive minor glitches that may pop up. If a sofa won’t be finished by the promised deadline, call as soon as you are aware of the problem.

4. Under-promise — If a delivery will take 3 weeks, estimate 4. Customers are usually delighted when something is ready ahead of schedule.

5. Maximize contact with the customer. This does not mean sending frequent ads or spam. It means keeping the customer informed of the progress of their order up to and after delivery.

6. Be knowledgeable about your products and your company. If you don’t know the answer to a question, find out quickly.

7. Surprise and amaze your customer — give them something they do not expect. This can be as simple as delivering your product one week eaarly, or it can involve giving an upgrade at no charge. This is particularly important when an error has been made and you are trying to correct it. Go farther than your customer expects and they will change from disgruntled critics to enthusiastic supporters.

Retail stores have been cutting back on customer service for years. As competition grows and profit margins shrink, customer service is one of the first places to cut back. Everyone who has ever tried to call a computer company for technical assistance and winds up talking to someone from India knows the problem. Corporate bean counters forget that with good customer service you can earn better margins. You are not forced to fight over who can offer the lowest price. Besides, it’s just nicer working in a friendly environment. When you have happy customers, you have happy employees.

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Source by Jeff Frank

Views: 0

February 1, 2020
How To Start Marketing Your Business

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To new business owners, starting a business is often its own reward. They are thrilled to be able to be their own bosses, and to successfully get a business up and running. Often they are happy just to keep the dream alive.

But every business needs to grow. That doesn’t mean you have to reach out to a larger market – it means working toward increasing your share of the one you are targeting. This will keep your business healthy enough to survive obstacles such as tough economic times.

In order to keep moving forward, we need to market our businesses constantly. We need to dedicate a certain percentage of our resources to building our brand and reaching our target market. Here are some simple things you can do to help your business grow.

Have a clear picture of your target market.

Find out what types of people use the products and services you provide and respond to your business philosophies. If you’re not marketing to the right people, all will be lost.

Research, research, research.

Determine how to best reach your target market and what they expect out of your offerings. Study your competition carefully, and make note of what they’re doing right and wrong.

Choose your marketing channels wisely.

If your target market rarely reads, there’s no point in advertising in a magazine. Use what you’ve learned about them to find the best possible outlets for your message, and focus your marketing efforts there.

Give your advertising a chance.

Studies show that consumers require repeated exposure to a product before they will even consider buying. So don’t be surprised if one ad run doesn’t bring spectacular results. If you’ve done your homework and found a viable way to reach your market, run the ad at least two more times before you evaluate the results.

Take advantage of free publicity.

Sending out press releases and finding other ways to attract the media will give you high-quality exposure, and it won’t eat into your budget.

Keep track of the effectiveness of your marketing efforts.

If what you’re doing is working, you should be generating more revenue. Use some of that revenue to do more marketing. If it isn’t working, make adjustments and try again.

Sometimes you’ll have to take a step back with your marketing plans. But that’s not a sign you’ve failed. It’s a sign that you’re a smart marketer. Sometimes the market changes, and it’s up to us to monitor those changes and adjust our marketing plans accordingly. No successful company markets the same way forever. By evolving with our target market, we can make our marketing work better.

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Source by Jon Allo

Views: 0

January 30, 2020
How Internet Network Marketing is Helping and Empowering Multi Level Marketing Businesses

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If you’ve been in or around the network marketing industry you’ve seen some of the consequences of doing what the old scholars have done over the years. Sure, there is plenty of empowering things about the business model and there are also somethings that some network marketer’s wouldn’t want to talk to you about.

What happens when you send someone out with just a of names list and a few words to tell people when they come in contact with. Which have high hopes and ambition to go out and talk to people only to find out the person tells them no. After that first no it’s harder to get up and get going again to ask the next person.

What happens when they call leads and no one answers only to find out that the leads that they purchased are old leads and they find out later that they just wasted their hard earned money for something that they thought at the time would help them in their network marketing business.

How their up line told them that they need to come to an event or a summit when they new that they didn’t have the money to go, but went anyway just to hear the same lecture over and over the whole entire time they were there. Just to find out later that all of that was a waste of time and money. Of course they are pumped for a little while, but reality comes back quick!

Going to weekly briefings will help them in there business if they will come and bring someone. Only to find out that every week is the same thing. Their doing “the thing”, but nothing ever happens.

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Source by Mark Colbert

Views: 0

January 29, 2020
Why Not Have A Happy Marriage While Avoiding The Crash Of A Divorce?

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It is very important to find both present moment joy and pleasure about happy and successful married life and your future.

Happiness is of the keys to a successful marriage and is the fuel for a significant life, and without it we can not appear to get the life we want.

Ways to find happiness and to have a successful marriage is not always a simple solution, and yet you have to be conscious of it.

You must concentrate on the things that you have in order to find that you both have a happy married life.

Many folks prefer to dwell on the important things that they do not have and even pine over them.

When people can not find happiness in their own life they do not know the best ways to grow and discover into happy married life.

How to possess the keys to a successful marriage means the aspect that you already have actually found happiness in your own life.

In regular times, individuals understand exactly what they are blessed with.

Others, who just merely crave exactly whatever they see and want it severely and obsessively, are never pleased for their worldly belongings can not fill the empty void inside of them.

The best ways to discover happiness in a marriage starts with everybody finding happiness with God.

When mood swings are in the air and lift you up assisting you to forget concerns, God will help you through your state of mind.

Happiness is the normal state of grace for mankind.

Take a look at a little child taking its first steps with a proud smile and you will realize that state of grace I’m speaking of.

The little child does not want anything in return, it is genuinely pleased.

For the next few days hang around looking for your pure instants of joy.

Each instant in your life kept filled with enjoyment will help you to keep happiness and joy in your marriage.

Please count the moments of joy that you have felt. How to find happiness in a marriage is by your mindset.

Being truly happy is everything!

Previously I discussed free available information on saving the marriage today by staying happy in such an often conflicting world.

True happiness is a mindset of observing the excellence of grace within you constantly flowing your way.

We need to understand how to keep from sinking far too low while we journey through this world.

The trick to finding joy in our own lives and of our marital relationship is to get into the habit of searching for advantages, rather of griping all the time about whatever that has failed.

Pleasure offers us a sensation of power and energy.

Delight means being excited about now and about the future.

I always thought that to discover actually JOY in your life that you need to follow these simple fundamental guidelines.

You need to put your inner divine Self first in your life, something Jesus and so many other masters were here to teach us.

Jesus has channeled to us through the Course in Miracles that, “My holy brother, I would enter into all relationships, and step between you and your fantasies. Let my relationship to you be real to you, and let me bring reality to your perception of your brothers.”

Always put others upfront in your life, and have a caring attitude toward the world in general.

That has always been my mantra, so to speak, for a better more fulfilled happy life and a happy married life.

You must focus on the things that you have within you and learn to reflect that abundance and joy to the material world, in order to find happiness in your marital relationship, too.

Be sure to extend your inner bliss.

Remember, when you have no inner bliss being projected to your life in this world, you can not ever realize how to find happiness in a marriage.

How to discover happiness in a marriage stems from the element that you already have discovered joy in your own life.

On the other hand, a once happy married life for some folks turns into to an ugly matter of the divorce.

(Please also note, I suggest seeking out the web for more helpful material on things like, how coping with divorce may need to be addressed, and if so, learning to redirect the mental power of our errors into positive results.)

To success in love and life!

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Source by James Nussbaumer

Views: 0

January 29, 2020