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Tag: Anger

  • The Catcher in the Rye: Mental Health Services and Social Connections for Children

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    The Catcher in the Rye, by J.D. Salinger, was required reading for my tenth grade English class. I remembered it as a story about the struggles of adolescence, the yearning for independence, and the reluctance to let go of youth. My son is now about the same age as I was when I read the book and we are living through his own nudge for independence, which sparked my interest to give the story another read. Before I began, I wondered what my take on the book would be at this point in life having survived adolescence and received training and experience in child development in addition to having a teen in the house. This reading accentuated the unresolved grief, family dysfunction, mental illness, and lack of social connectedness of the main character, Holden Caulfield, and how these difficulties exacerbate the issues experienced during the typical maturational process. As the country still debates gun control laws in the aftermath of Sandy Hook, and as we try to recover from the Boston Marathon bombing, The Catcher in the Rye reminds us about the importance of developing meaningful and genuine connections with our children and the need to address their mental health issues.

    The Catcher in the Rye begins as a flashback story about Holden Caulfield’s experiences leading up to his nervous breakdown prior to Christmas. Holden narrates the story while receiving inpatient psychological treatment on the west coast. The events begin at Pencey Prep in Pennsylvania, where Holden has been expelled due to poor academic performance, and conclude in New York City as Holden attempts to return home. During the course of his journey, Holden attempts to make connections with a number of people however, he fails miserably due to his social ineptitude, lack of appropriate treatment for what may possibly be bipolar disorder, and inability to believe that other people are capable of being genuine. Holden eventually makes it home and connects with his younger sister. By that time he has decompensated to the point that, even though he is no longer experiencing suicidal ideations, he feels disconnected, misunderstood, and alone. Holden decides that he is going to go away, to escape from society and the rejection, the loneliness, and the pain that he feels. However, Holden makes one last trip to see his sister Phoebe before he disappears. Phoebe’s caring, anger, and innocence provide Holden with the connection he is looking for; she is both a peer and dependent to him. Through Phoebe, Holden is able to cling to his childhood and put off making the leap to young adulthood and independence.

    One theme that I was more attuned to during this reading was the unspoken dysfunction of the Caulfield family. Holden frequently compares himself to his younger, deceased brother, whom he describes as brilliant and athletic, as well as his older brother, who has become a successful author. It is suggested that Holden is a challenging child, and somewhat of a disappointment to his parents as he has been unable to live up to their expectations. He has been expelled from at least four preparatory schools due to poor academic performance, he has difficulty socially connecting with others, and he has frequent mood swings. It is possible that Holden’s parents were drained from watching their youngest son battle with leukemia which left them with little strength to effectively deal with Holden’s grief and potential disability. In Holden’s eyes, they appear to have emotionally and physically divested themselves from him. He has little to no emotional family support and what appears to be very little communication with them. Holden is left adrift to navigate this tumultuous time in his life without support, understanding, and treatment. His efforts to reach out and communicate, including failing out of schools and getting into fights, are not understood as cries for help but are seen as personal shortcomings.

    Holden perceives most people as being phony, superficial, and hypercritical. This may in part be due to his social awkwardness, lack of maturity, and feeling of being abandoned by his parents. He is continuously let down by everyone that he reaches out to for help as they either don’t live up to what Holden has built up in his mind, or they try to take advantage of him. Therefore, Holden comes to believe that everyone is phony who doesn’t or is incapable of meeting his preconceived expectations. In addition, Holden clearly experiences moments of mania during the story, which are often followed by feelings of sadness to the point where he does express some suicidal thoughts. It seems that the lack of communication with his parents, the unresolved grief and guilt over the death of his brother, and the inability to effectively and appropriately connect with others result in Holden being unable to interact with others on anything but a superficial level. The exception to this is Phoebe. Her reluctance to let her brother leave provides Holden with the strength to go home and ask for help. However, in the end, Holden continues to suffer from a lack of love and feelings of loneliness. He states, “Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.” At this point, Holden continues to find it difficult to have genuine, meaningful relationships believing that when you open up to people that they will turn away from you in order to keep the relationship on a superficial level. Holden continues to be plagued by this emotional void and, while there is a hunger for social connectedness, he will continue to experience emptiness and rejection due to his quirkiness.

    For me, reading The Catcher in the Rye in high school highlighted the struggle for independence and Holden’s war on hypocrisy. On this reading, I was able to obtain a better understanding of the tragedy that occurs as a result of Holden’s parents being unable to provide him the emotional support that he needs to overcome his brother’s death and deal with his mental health needs. Holden’s repeated failure to socially connect and develop a meaningful relationship with anyone other than his sister and the lack of treatment for his mental health issues made me think of the recent tragedies in Colorado, Sandy Hook, and Boston. It reinforced the need to take mental health needs and services seriously; just because these conditions are unseen doesn’t mean that they aren’t debilitating. Feeling cared for and connected to others reduces the stress, stigma, and isolation that are associated with these conditions. It made me wonder whether these tragedies could have been avoided if the people involved had received appropriate therapy and treatment. They may have felt connected and accepted, and these tragedies may have been avoided. The message of being accepted and cared for from The Catcher in the Rye continues to be relevant to young people today as we all strive for acceptance.

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    Source by David Pino

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  • Affairs: How to Heal After an Affair

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    Affairs can destroy a relationship if you do not know the steps to take to heal from an affair.

    Here are some of the specific steps necessary for healing.

    Avoid overreacting. Statements like “The marriage is over” do not have to be true. Many marriages survive an affair. Avoid a vengeance affair. Acknowledge hurt, betrayal, anger, distrust, and homicidal urges. Sometimes a temporary separation will allow for a cooling-down period.

    Honest discussion about what happened and why is important. The why is more important than the what. Be careful about asking for all the gory details. It is human nature to want to know everything, but each revealed incident creates an image in your mind, which becomes difficult to forgive and let go. This process keeps marriage therapists very busy. The more gory details you know, the more images in your head, the longer it takes to heal.

    Each person has two tasks. The person who had the affair has to be squeaky clean and scrupulously honest. The spouse who didn’t have the affair has to forgive and let go.

    Some people hold the false belief that if they forgive, friends and family will see them as weak. Forgiving, letting go of the pain, and moving on after the deep wound of an affair requires great inner strength. As far as we know, only God can forgive and forget. We humans are cursed with memory and so the healing process requires forgiving and letting go of the hurt. Letting go demands personal discipline and is much more difficult if you have a vengeful, unforgiving personality.

    Following these guidelines will go a long way to help you to heal your relationships after an affair.

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    Source by Shuford Davis

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  • Mindset: A Summary

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    Dr. Carol S. Dweck was challenged by her student to write a book on the results of years of their research study. Dr. Carol S. Dweck rose to the occasion and has written this book, “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, and How we can Learn to Fulfill Our Potential” in the hope that it will help the ordinary human being understand that life is what you make it and not what was dealt to you at birth. She has written in simple language giving examples of ordinary real people like herself and her students, artists like Picasso, sportsmen like Michael Jordan, the basketball player and John McEnroe the tennis player, Marina Semyonova the great Russian dance instructor and CEOs of different companies to name a few. In the third paragraph of her introduction she writes, “… you’ll learn how a simple belief about yourself… guides a large part of your life… In fact it permeates every part of your life… ” Thus she draws the reader into the book, making the reader one of her real life examples as the reader finds himself or herself in these examples.

    Dr. Dweck introduces the two types of mindsets, the fixed mindset and the growth mindset in the first section of the book. She writes how she learned from ten year old kids that failure could be turned into a gift if you had the right mindset. By giving them hard puzzles to work on, the kids cultivated their intellectual skills through effort and did not give up. These kids became her role models in her pursuit of whether human qualities are things that can be cultivated or are things curved in stone. Each person has a unique genetic endowment but experience, training, and personal effort take them the rest of the way.

    Dr. Dweck’s twenty years of research has shown that the view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life. She writes that, if you believe that your qualities and traits are curved in stone and cannot be changed then you have a fixed mindset. And if you believe that cherished qualities and traits can be developed and cultivated then you have a growth mindset.

    Fixed mindset people believe that an individual’s intelligence, quality and traits are a fixed quantity which cannot be increased. If they are doing well in school then they are smarter than the others who are not doing well. If they do well in sports then they have talent dealt them at birth. They spend time to prove that they are better in the qualities dealt to them just to prove they were dealt a healthy dose and that they are not deficient. If something doesn’t work for fixed mindset people they always blame it on something else.

    Growth mindset people work hard to do better always. They do not sit back and see their accomplishments as the final goal. In their minds there is always room for improvement. They have no time to sit and see themselves as the best or better than others. They have no time to sit and think that they have a special talent. They are busy thinking of how they can make it better and what changes they can make if something expected did not go right. To them if something doesn’t go right it’s not failure it is a challenge to find out ways to make it happen.

    In the second section of the book, Dr.Dweck, takes us through her research journey of fixed mindset and a journey of growth mindset through several sets of eyes. Showing how these two mindsets make or break people in their daily lives. In individual sports she gives an example of John McEnroe fixed mindset in tennis. He was a brilliant player who believed on talent not effort and working hard. When he didn’t win he blamed it on something else. Like when he blamed the system for not liking the game any more. He would not take responsibility. Micheal Jordan on the other hand has a growth mindset. If he missed a goal he would go and practice for several hours trying to figure out why he missed it In team sport the author gives an example of Couch John Wooden who was tactically and strategically average but went on to win ten national championships. Coach Wooden a growth mindset, tells us he was good at getting players to fill roles as part of a team. He cared about the feelings of the players. Fixed mindset like Coach Bobby Knight picked players for talent. He was an excellent coach but used the dictator approach to win. The winning were short lived and broke individuals’ characters in the process.

    In corporate companies the author uses General Electric CEO, Jack Welch, as the fixed mindset who managed to humble himself to a growth mindset and as he grew in his mindset the company grew at the same time. Lee Iacocca whose fixed mind set is good to bring the company up to the top in a hurry but then you need to get rid of him before he breaks it. Ford motor company did just that and Lee Iacocca was not happy. Fixed mindsets leaders are more concerned with being heroes and put their ego before the welfare of the company. The author gives example of Enron as a company that broke in the hands fixed mindset high echelon smart people. Enron employed smart people with talent and paid the maximum price of closing the company. Enron is a good example of groupthink where executives get carried away with their brilliance and superiority and make catastrophic decisions.

    In love, these two mindsets can make or break a relationship. In her research, Dr. Dweck, found out that fixed mindsets feel judged and labeled by rejection in a break up. They also chose revenge as a means to get at the person who hurt them. Growth mindsets chose to forgive, learn from it and move on. The author gives Hilary Clinton as an example who forgave her husband and went to canceling in order to save her relationship. Time and effort is needed to cultivate the emotional skills that are needed to keep a relationship.

    Dr. Dweck, ends this third section with the influence that parents’, teachers’ and coaches’ mindsets have on children that are under their care. In her research she found out that children interpret the caregivers words of support and encouragement in a fixed mindset approach. This sets them up for failure. For example, “… You learned that so quickly! You are so smart… ” is interpreted as “… If I don’t learn something quickly, I’m not smart… ” She explains that parents, teachers and coaches should refrain from giving praise that judges their intelligence or talent but praise them for the work that they put in. She goes on to say parents, teachers, and coaches need to give equal time and attention to the children regardless of their initial skills. The children will in turn give all and blossom. The author points out, “… As parents, teachers, and coaches we are entrusted with peoples’ lives. They are our responsibility and our legacy… “

    In the fourth section of the book, Dr. Dweck, embarks on the most gratifying part of her work, watching people change. People are not conscious or aware of their beliefs. Dr Aaron Beck, a psychiatrist, discovered that he could teach them how to work with and change these beliefs. And cognitive therapy, one of the most effective therapies ever developed, was born. Dr Dweck, used workshops to probe the way people of fixed mindsets dealt with information they were receiving. She found that they put a strong evaluation on each piece of information. Something good led to a very strong positive label and something bad led to a very strong negative label. People with growth mindset are also constantly monitoring what’s going on, but their internal monologue is not about judging themselves or others. They are sensitive to positive and negative information, but they are attuned to it’s implications for learning and constructive action. Dr. Dweck also had workshop for students. The workshops require a large staff to deliver the material. So the workshop material was put on interactive computer modules. The teachers guide their classes through the modules, and called it Braintology. These mindset workshops put students in charge of their brain.

    It is interesting to note how a simple characteristic like a mindset affects decision making in a wide spectrum of the population. A student in kindergarten, a CEO in billion dollar company, a surgeon at work in a hospital, a sportsman at practice and on the court, a chef at a high end hotel, selection of dance students and a sport team. College students drop classes or drop out of school due to having a fixed mindset. A growth mindset helps you learn to deal with anger, and deal with stereotypes in racial and gender discrimination. It’s quite fascinating.

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    Source by Nancy Maina

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  • Finding Emotional Intelligence in Negative Emotions – Positive Purpose in Sadness Anger and Fear

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    Emotional Intelligence is severely undervalued. When you feel stuck, frustrated, stressed, upset, or overwhelmed, skillful emotional awareness is the key to moving forward. Underneath your upset is a specific emotion that can guide you. The key, then, is to understand the messages in your feelings and become skillful in using their energy appropriately.

    Even so-called “negative emotions,” such as sadness, anger, and fear, convey important information and energy to carry out specific actions that can help you and others. Emotions arise with a purpose and when this purpose is fulfilled the feeling subsides. Unfortunately, as a society, we have not learned to understand and sufficiently value emotional energy and information, so we tend to deal with these feelings crudely.

    For example, with an emotion like anger, you might express it explosively or shove it under the surface, because you do not want to act angrily. Either you express your feelings reactively or cease feeling altogether.

    Emotional Intelligence expert, Karla McLaren, describes a healthy third alternative. She says you can facilitate the healthy flow of emotions by consciously “channeling” the information and energy that emotions provide. In other words, emotions contain meaningful messages along with energy to do something related to those messages. This is true for so-called “negative” emotions as well as “positive” ones.

    For example, McLaren suggests that:

    • ANGER arises when you, or someone or something you love, is threatened and you need to take protective action or set a firm boundary.

    • SADNESS arises when you need to let go of what no longer serves you or what is past, so you can move forward.

    • FEAR arises to prompt you to take preventative action.

    • JOY prompts you toward expansive, expressive, creative action.

    • COMPASSION prompts you to care for others.

    So, every emotion has a MESSAGE and ENERGY to carry out a specific type of action. Tuning into your emotions helps you to receive these messages and take these actions.

    Let’s explore the first three of these emotions in more depth. Sadness, anger, and fear are often misunderstood and handled poorly. We tend to repress them, stay stuck in them, or express them unskillfully, with negative consequences.

    So, as you work with these emotions, it’s important to do so Mindfully. Approach them as a curious observer with an attitude of paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, without judgment. Know that emotions are simply information about yourself, others, and events, along with energy to do something about this information. They do not define who you are and they will pass as you gather their information and take appropriate action.

    (Note: If you feel overwhelmed or paralyzed by feelings to the point where you are unable to consciously process them yourself, seek the assistance of a counseling professional who is trained to work with intense emotions.)

    The Positive Purpose of Sadness

    The purpose of sadness is to enable you to let go of what is no longer working or what is past and finished. Sadness is a watery downward-flowing energy that enables you to release what no longer serves you, so you can return to fluidity and flexibility in your life.

    By allowing appropriate sadness to flow through you, you’ll make space for new energy and new possibilities. If you do not consciously acknowledge sadness or don’t know how to flow with it, you’ll bury it inside, where it will perpetually cycle, or you’ll get lost in the feeling and be overwhelmed.

    Here’s a practice adapted from Karla McLaren’s book, “The Language of Emotions,” that can help you consciously process feelings of sadness.

    1. When you feel sadness flood into you, take some quiet, private time to center into the feeling. Tune into the sensation of sadness, locate where it resides in your body, and approach it with curiosity to learn what it has to tell you.

    2. Take a deep in-breath as if you are filling your whole body with your breath. As you exhale, make a sighing sound, and feel the energy of your sadness flowing like water down through your body, through your legs and feet, and down into the ground.

    3. Stay centered in your inner space and ask your sadness the question: “What needs to be released or let go right now?” Don’t rush to fill in an answer. Instead, keep the question open. Listen and feel inside.

    Repeat your sighing breath down through your body as many times as you feel the need and keep your question open for your deeper knowing to respond. You may find you know right away what you need to release or you may find it becomes clear later. Either way, tuning into sadness (or any emotion) mindfully initiates a process of discovery and integration that will help you move forward.

    The Positive Purpose of Anger

    Anger arises to create and preserve personal boundaries and safeguard personal space. You feel angry when a personal boundary or the boundary of someone or something you care for is disrupted or violated. When you are able to identify the source of the perceived threat and use the energy available in anger to strengthen your personal space and take appropriate action, anger will recede. It will have accomplished its purpose.

    Here’s a practice adapted from McLaren to gather the information and use the energy in your anger:

    1. When you feel anger rising, focus inside your body and become more in-touch with the felt sensation. Approach the feeling with curiosity to learn more about it.

    2. Take a deep in-breath. As you exhale, imagine and feel as if the energy in your anger travels outward into a sphere about an arms-width around you, your personal boundary, strengthening it with a brilliant color. Do this until you feel a shift in your energy, so you are witnessing, feeling, and working with the energy in your anger without being consumed by it.

    3. Ask your anger this question: “What needs to be protected or restored?”

    4. Then ask, “What action will restore healthy boundaries and protect what is important?”

    These questions help you identify what feels threatened, so you can take appropriate action. Try this when anger arises and see how it works for you.

    The Positive Purpose of Fear

    We’ve been told “Fear is what holds us back” and “The only thing to fear is fear itself.” If we can just overcome our fears, we’ll be able to live full-out and realize our hopes and dreams. But, what if this perennial wisdom regarding fear is missing something? What if fear in its essential form is one of our wise guides?

    Emotions have three primary forms: unconscious reactive expression, a repressed cycling state, and a healthy free-flowing state. It may be that we are only familiar with the first two forms of fear: a reactive expression that makes us cower and a repressed state which creates constant low-level anxiety.

    Fear in its healthy free-flowing form is something altogether different. What if fear can signal intuitive awareness of something that needs attention? What if it can alert you to important action?

    This form of fear is a sixth sense that reaches out through your personal space to pick up signals about what is happening inside you, with others, and in your environment. Fear can alert you to what is happening in your own body. It can alert you to the actions and intentions of the people around you and to conditions in the environment. When you learn to discern this information, it can help you can choose wise actions.

    To learn to use fear as a wise guide, try this simple practice:

    1. When you feel fear arising, take a quiet, private moment to center into the feeling. Tune into the sensation of fear, locate where it resides in your body, and approach it with curiosity to learn what it has to tell you.

    2. Take a deep in-breath as if you are filling your whole body with your breath. As you exhale, imagine and feel that your breath fills the sphere of your personal space about an arm’s width around your entire body. Sense into your personal space and into the wider space around you and search for subtle signals. For example, you might be drawn to an area inside your body or to look at something or someone in your environment. You might feel the urge to move toward or away from something.

    3. Stay centered in your personal space and ask your fear the question: “What action needs to be taken right now?” Don’t rush to fill in an answer. Instead, keep the question open. Listen and feel inside. See what presents itself. You may have an inspiration to take a specific action.

    It can take time to learn to discern guiding signals. As best as you can, be patient. The simple action of tuning into emotional signals is a cultivated skill. You’ll grow your ability to sense inner guidance from fear and all your emotions through mindful practice over time.

    You’ll also learn to discern the quality of signals that represent accurate present guidance from false interpretations based on painful past experiences. There’s a different felt quality to accurate versus false guidance. False guidance may feel alarming, stressful, or rushed. It is fixated on what happened in the past or overly-anxious about the future. Accurate emotional guidance has a matter-of-fact, present, forward-moving quality, that feels like perfect timing.

    So, in summary, as emotions come up, instead of being wary of them, what if you welcome them, become curious, and ask:

    • What is the sensation of this emotion in my body?

    • Exactly what emotion is this?

    • What is the message in this feeling?

    • What is it asking me to do?

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    Source by Kevin Schoeninger

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  • Prophetic Declaration to Overcome Storms of Life in Your Marriage: Powerful Life Changing Prayers

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    If you are faced with problems in your marriage and business, it is only by divine intervention that you will overcome such problems.

    Bible Verses and Prayers to Encourage You As You Face The Battle of Life

    Psalm 23: 1-6 (KJV) "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

    Prayers to Encourage You As You Face The Battle of Life

    – Lord Eliminate the Spirit of always wanting to give up my Life in the Name of Jesus.

    – Give me a fresh breeze of release to lighten my load in Jesus Name.

    – Send the right people in my life to be a source of love, guidance and new opportunities.

    – Teach me your way and your will in Jesus Name

    – Speak to me Lord in a way that I would understand and obey in Jesus Name.

    – If nobody else in the whole world seems to care or believe in me, let me believe in myself.

    – I know there will be times when I doubt my own ability, I will be discouraged, on the verge of despair.

    – Don't let me give up, hang on to me. Fan the fires of my faith so that I will try even harder.

    – Give me even more faith in myself in Jesus Name.

    – I come boldly before your throne of grace.

    – Your word says that you give strength to the weary, so I ask that you would strengthen me Lord, for I am weary.

    – Bless me Lord with your presence, that my heart might be encouraged.

    – Help me remember your faithfulness and your love that I might stand in faith against the issues that face me.

    Prophetic Declaration over your marriage

    Bible says that the ear of the lord is not deaf nor his hand short that he does not hear us, but our iniquities have separated us from our God (paraphrased) Isaiah 59: 1. We therefore must first bring repentance over our past participation by thoughts words or deed our iniquities which would cause the Lord not to hear us.

    Prayer Points

    – I repent over every sin and wickedness in my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I turn way from everything in my life that gives Satan a foothold and legality in my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I repent of every ungodly confession I have made over my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I repent of every ungodly confession that is standing as a witness and testimony before you in the name of Jesus.

    – Father have mercy upon me in the name of Jesus.

    – Forgive me for wrong confessions, utterances, declarations, thoughts, actions, I have done which are speaking against me, before you in the name of Jesus.

    – I decree and declare that in my marriage shall receive and release the strength, honor, glory that marriage brings in Jesus name.

    – I decree and declare that in my marriage shall reflect the glory of God in Jesus name.

    – I decree and declare that two shall put to flight Ten thousand, that is my portion in my marriage in Jesus name.

    – I decree and declare that wicked patterns and cycles of marriages in my bloodline broken in the name of Jesus and by the voice of the blood of the lamb.

    – Every handwriting of wicked codes speaking against my marriage in be bloated out by the blood of Jesus.

    – I station Angels of defense along my marriage in Jesus name

    – Blood of Jesus surround my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I station the word of the Lord as a wall around my marriage, it shall not be like a city with no walls in Jesus name.

    – I decree and declare that I will have prophetic utterances over my marriage in Jesus name.

    – Blood of Jesus step into the foundation of my marriage and align it to the word of God in the name of Jesus

    – Blood of Jesus speak healing into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak restoration into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak love into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak joy into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak peace to my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak harmony into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak unity into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak wisdom into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak understanding into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak knowledge into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak fruitfulness into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I raise the banner and the standard of Christ and declare the Lordship of Jesus over my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I decree and declare that my marriage shall bear good fruits in Jesus name.

    – Every Spirit of barrenness is broken, and destroyed by the power of the blood of Jesus in my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Every pain In my marriage, balm of Gilead cleanse it, heal it Lord, in the name of Jesus.

    – Every bitterness In my marriage, balm of Gilead cleanse it, heal it Lord, in the name of Jesus.

    – Every anger In my marriage, balm of Gilead cleanse it, heal it Lord, in the name of Jesus.

    – Every unforgiveness In my marriage, balm of Gilead cleanse it, heal it Lord, in the name of Jesus.

    – Every sorrow In my marriage, balm of Gilead cleanse it, heal it Lord, in the name of Jesus.

    – I decree and declare that the scent of my marriage shall be a pleasing aroma in your sight Lord and in the body of Christ in the name of Jesus.

    – I decree and declare that springs of life from your fountain will come forth and water every dry area in my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Resurrection power of God rest upon every dead area in my marriage and resurrect it in Jesus name.

    – I decree and declare the Angel in charge of marriages shall walk with me in my marriage.

    – I release every goodness my marriage is to bring to my life in Jesus name.

    – let every stranger in my marriage be evicted in the name of Jesus.

    – Let the angel of the Lord pursue to destruction every stranger in my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Every ungodly voice over my marriage be silenced by the voice of the blood of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus blot out every wicked ordinance that is standing as a testimony against my marriage in the courtrooms of heaven in the name of Jesus

    – I station the Angel in charge of marriages at the gate of my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I stand in agreement with what the Angel in charge of marriages is confessing before the courts of heaven concerning my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I stand in agreement with what the blood of Jesus is speaking before the courtrooms of heaven concerning my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I stand in agreement with what Jesus the mediator is speaking before the courtrooms of heaven concerning my marriage.

    – Father I pray let my offerings and tithes stand as a testimony and a witness on behalf of my marriage in the courtrooms of heaven.

    – Father I pray arise and become a witness for me against every adulterer in my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I decree and declare that the bars of my marriage gates will be strengthened in the name of Jesus

    – I declare my marriage shall be restful, joyous, happy, full of the glory of God.

    – I station these words at the gates of my marriage in Jesus name.

    – I put the seal of the blood of Jesus on my marriage in the name of Jesus.

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    Source by Dr Olusola A Coker Ed.D

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  • Aromatherapy – Nature’s Fragrant Medicine

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    We all know how fragrances make us feel. Some aromas make us euphoric, others have a more soothing effect, and specific familiar smells can transport us back in time and bring on feelings of nostalgia. The psychological and emotional effects of fragrance and the extreme importance of our sense of smell are obvious. But, did you know these same fragrances can also be used to heal your body and create well-being in your life? Aromatherapy is a well-known technique amongst healers from all parts of the world and all civilizations.

    What do they know that you don’t?

    As with Color Therapy, Sound Healing, Crystal Healing, and Energy Therapy, the aim of Aromatherapy, within the scope of healing, is to activate the senses of the body. The goal is to eliminate the conditioned, logical, and analytical mind, thus activating the wonderful reality of “feeling” and experiencing life in it most empirical and purest form. It is in this empirical state, that we are able to break the illusions of separation and connect on a deeper level with the energies that surround us. Dr. Richard Gerber MD, author of Vibrational Medicine, tells us that one of the best ways we can change dysfunctional patterns in our energy bodies is to administer therapeutic doses of frequency-specific energy. We do this by using herbs, crystals, sound, and energy also called vibrational medicines.

    It is common knowledge and practice, that scent can affect physical and psychological changes in living beings. We experience it regularly in our daily lives. When we smell a fragrance, it triggers an immediate emotion or feeling, that makes us happy, excited, calm or even nostalgic. Aromatherapy, practiced throughout thousands of years, dating back to the ancient Egyptians and the Vedic culture of India, where plant extracts and medicinal plants are still widely used.

    The term Aromatherapy was coined in 1937, by a French perfumer and chemist by the name of Rene-Maurice Gatterfosee. Aromatherapy is the holistic science of utilizing naturally extracted essences from plants to balance, harmonize and promote the health of body, mind, and spirit. Through the knowledgeable and controlled use of essential oils, we are able to achieve physical, emotional health, and overall well-being. As with other holistic practices, Aromatherapy is always used to treat the “whole” person and not just the symptom or the disease.The application of essential oils is historically mentioned countless times and throughout diverse civilizations (Egyptians, Greeks, Romans etc.) for a variety of health-related applications. Today, there are thousands of studies on essential oils. We know that their effectiveness is accurately merited by their composition of very small molecules, that are able to penetrate deeply and quickly into our cells (Transdermal delivery).

    The sense of smell is the most neglected of all the senses in humans. This is surprising when we consider that seventy to seventy-five percent of what we perceive as taste, actually comes from our sense of smell. The neurons that sense the odor molecules, lie deep within the nasal cavity, in a patch of cells called the olfactory epithelium. To understand how odor is humanly perceived, it is important to know why the limbic system allows us to behave differently when experiencing different odors. The Limbic system is a complex system of nerves and networks in the brain, involving several areas near the edge of the cortex, related to our instinct and mood. It also controls our most basic emotions (fear, pleasure, anger) and drives (hunger, sex, dominance, care of offspring). A very important aspect of smell is that olfactory neurons make up the only sensory pathway, that is in direct contact with the brain. Because of the close connection to the limbic center, feelings and emotions can naturally be regulated, as well as memory.

    The application and uses of Aromatherapy in healing, obey the same Universal Law that everything vibrates at different and specific frequencies. Every atom in the universe has a specific vibratory or periodic motion. Most plants (and animals,) use enzymes to break down molecular components during their life processes. And, each of these enzymes has a unique crystalline form with a specific vibratory frequency. The vibrational frequency of an oil reflects the innate integrity of these elements and the intrinsic enzymes embodied within its substance.

    The process of using Aromatherapy in healing treatments is to apply plant-derived oils with the correct matching frequency. Therefore, allowing the physical body to absorb these energetic vibrations and bring the body back to a state of well-being and equilibrium. Essential oils do not resonate with the toxins in our bodies; neither, do they resonate with negative emotions. This incompatibility is what naturally helps remove toxins and toxic energy from our systems. Aromatherapy, energetically speaking, can help dislodge forgotten traumas by surfacing them in our consciousness. For, it is in a state of consciousness that we can face, deal with them, and let them go. The therapeutic properties of this method, create exceptional vibrational remedies, capable of healing or rebalancing the body/mind/soul/spirit. Essential oils can regularly be used in body oils for massage, facial/body lotions and oils, baths, inhalation, diffusion, and on the energy points on your body.

    It is fairly simple to integrate Aromatherapy into your daily life. You do not need to be a master of plants and herbs. Choose a few. Learn about their energetic properties. Smell each oil. How do they make you feel? Once you have narrowed down your list and hand chosen your favorites, here are some DIY ideas:

    • Place a few drops on a tissue and place it in the air vents in your car. Enjoy Aromatherapy anywhere you go. No need to schedule extra time to enjoy the benefits of essential oils.
    • You can mix your favorite oils with coconut or jojoba oil (my favorites) and use them instead of your regular perfume.
    • Mix your essential oil in distilled water. Then, using a spray bottle, spray it as an air freshener around the house. You can also spray it on your favorite pillows and throws.

    Be Creative! You Are Unique!

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    Source by Susan Vilanova

    Views: 0

  • Sex Drive, Sex Addiction And Anger

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    In psychiatry, we do a mental state examination that is quite like a physical examination. In it, one of the questions we ask of every patient is- How is your sexual appetite? In many parts of the world this question can be considered offensive especially when asked by the member of the opposite sex. But in the western world, people can talk freely about it. So in psychiatry, one has to be respectful of the culture one is working in.

    The importance of this question is that sexual drive determines the mental health of a person. In most psychiatric conditions, the drive is reduced. This happens in depression and anxiety conditions including post-traumatic stress disorder. In certain conditions like mania, it increases. In a person who is not manic, but has an unhealthy, elevated sexual drive, it is considered to be a sign of an addiction. An addiction has the quality of being compulsive and it is in excess to the norm. This excess starts damaging the person’s financial, social and personal condition. In such situations, it is a sign of ill health.

    In my experience, sex drive is the indicator of the physical and mental tension a person carries. When the tension increases to the extent that the body and the nervous system start getting tired, the drive reduces. If the tension is reduced, the drive comes back. In my experience, this happens typically in people who suffer with depression. Depression, is suppressed anger. When a depressed person, having low sex drive, starts releasing anger, the nervous system experiences a release and the sex drive or libido is increased as a result.

    Excessive sexual drive is the result of excessive tension or stress being produced in the body. The fact that regular physical exercise produces a healthy sex drive is a clinically known fact. When the tension is increased in the body, as happens in anger and following physical exercise, there is an upsurge in sex hormones. At that stage, the drive can become excessive. Despite having regular sexual partners, such people will feel the need to masturbate frequently to reduce their nervous tension. Such people are usually normal individuals except that they are torn inside with guilt about masturbation. If such people were to do nothing about their ‘sex addiction’, they would end up being depressed. This is because the body has a limit to tolerate tension. When the limit is reached,the nervous system becomes fatigued and features of depression kick in.

    In medical practice, medicines can be prescribed to control the excessive sexual drive. In my work, I have used meditation and imagery exercises to help the patients reduce their anger. The reduction in their sexual drive is a natural spontaneous follow up.

    Many years ago, there was an earthquake in the region of California. In the studies done at that time, scientists were perplexed to learn that immediately after the earthquake, the survivors reported a surge in their sexual drives. The reason for this, as I understand is this. Sex is an activity that is gift from nature to the animal world to continue with the progeny. During times of danger, the survival of the species or individual is threatened. This causes an anger drive that is necessary to undo the effects of the danger. Testosterone is a typical male hormone that increases muscle tension and produces energy in the body. Its secretion is increased at such times too. In order for the progeny to continue, reproductive activity has to take place. So there is a consequent increase in sexual drive.

    On the other hand, what would happen, if the anger tension is considerably reduced in the body? In all kinds of spiritual literature, there is emphasis on celibacy. Some religions enforce it on their followers. This is so because if you meditate regularly, the body’s physical and mental needs reduce considerably. There is also a reduction in anger levels and the body’s tension. The sexual drive reduces as a result. In such cases reduction in sexual drive is a sign of excellent mental health rather than the sign of mental illness. In spiritual literatures, sex is not a weakness because it provides pleasure, but because it is a sign of tension. Spiritual practices, like meditation, reduce this tension. Engaging in sex is a ‘weakness’ from anger/tension perspective in spirituality. It has nothing to do with denial of pleasure.

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    Source by Pradeep Chadha

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