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Author: Abdul-Qadir

Find Your Success Sweet Spot!

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Most people don’t show anyone their scars and bruises or share their “up to their eyeballs in the dirty stuff”, real and RAW stories of what the journey to success is sometimes like.

They usually reveal the rainbows and glitz of it instead.

The pretty and SHINY version.

When only the SHINY and glammed-up version, smelling like roses is revealed it seems off and PHONEY, like they’re disingenuous or hiding something.

And truth is an empowering act — because the Universe only works in the truth of the matter. So, while someone only shows mostly pretty and SHINY stuff she/he has one foot in a false reality and the other foot in some of the truth. The Universe only works in the truth of all matters. Truth be known the Universe led you to speak to this person because she/he has been through what you are struggling with and would share their solution, if she/he knew the truth of what you are experiencing.

That aside, Success comes wrapped up in something called ‘WORK’.

Are you resisting the idea of HARD work in your business or career?

The “Law of Attraction” doesn’t mean that successful people are sitting behind a mahogany desk all day and aren’t PUSHING themselves, breaking a sweat or putting out fires.

And when you resist HARD work you are keeping yourself from LEANING in and getting the dirty work done.

Are you believing the pretty and SHINY version of the Law of Attraction – that successful people had some lucky break or were especially talented or gifted in some magical way and were somehow omitted from the heavy TASK of working?

If so, accept my empathy for the misinformation!

You can decide to make a change and get to work and commit to your success no matter how difficult or afraid of failing you are, and no matter what – LEAN in and figure it out you need to do. You can adopts a ‘Do or die mode. Beast mode’.

That’s the real secret to success.

A persistent “I will figure it out AND WIN no matter what” attitude.

Frequently for some wild reason past clients came out of the woodwork and leave me beautiful grateful email messages and Facebook messages about their success BEYOND working with (some are clients who are from a year or two ago). I treasure each one as if it was the only grateful message I received.

I won’t mislead you that all people show up to work with a committed “all-in” attitude. Many have bought into the ‘secret’ as a magic fix. They are sorely disillusioned when they didn’t create their magical success. Then, I am the one to dispel the myth. I need to help them to Turn On, Tune In and Tap In to the depths of their strength and courage to persevere and do the HARD work.

Somewhere hidden in the recesses of your “contract” is an often overlooked fine-print statement that is quite easily forgotten: The party of the first part (you) to the party of the second part (the Universe), you hereby agree that according to the messages you send out to the Universe, so you shall reap.” This phenomenon is written in the Bible, Galatians VI (King James Version), “Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.”

Did you know that every person who has created financial freedom has one or more mentors. Ask Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Sir Richard Branson, Oprah Winfrey, Madam C. J. Walker, first female, self-made millionaire, other self-made female millionaires–Meg Whitman, former eBay owner, first CEO for a hi-tech company, Hewlett-Packard, Beyoncé Knowles, pop singer, Danielle Steele, romance author, Taylor Swift, singer/songwriter, Diane von Furstenberg, clothes designer, and Judge, Judy Shiendlin, TV personality.

Together, we developed a plan, and they fought their own demons and WON.

They strapped their grown-up shoes on when the going got hard, leaned in and embraced new ways of being, discovered new found confidence, stepped beyond their comfort zone, and WON.

And they keep on winning long after their initial mentoring work is over.

Anyway…

If you’re interested in doing the work and committing to your success (because there is no success without commitment) book a call and allow me to assist you to create your success and Financial Freedom.

Don’t wait. Book a call http://drdorothy.net and get your business or career rocking TODAY!

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Source by Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD

Views: 0

July 21, 2022
What Trading Psychology And Feng Shui Have In Common

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I know, a weird title and an even weirder combination of subjects. Please bear with me for a second: I have traded since 2001. On my trading journey learned one big thing, which I call the unified theory of trading success. This thing is that absolutely everything is connected.

Let me explain:

Traders and humans at large are so used to thinking in boxes that we overlook the biggest, simplest law of our existence that influences how we create our (trading) success. I am talking about how consciousness works.

Consciousness permeates everything, that’s the universal law.

This law basically means that everything you look at and experience in your trading world is experienced through your consciousness first, before you become aware of the individual boxes which your mind has set up like a filter system, so that you can make sense of all the different experiences.

Here is the rub: Your mind processes most of its experiences subconsciously.

The tendency to see things as separate creates a skewed view of the world. It also makes you take the wrong action, because you act on the illusion of separation as if it where real.

Box thinking stops you from seeing what Feng Shui and trading have in common.

Have you ever considered that consciousness sees literally everything before you give the experience a value?

For example: You value a good trade set up as worthy of your attention, just as you would value a nice looking beach as a motivation to develop better trading habits. Yet, you know that the beach is not your reality today, because your office is dark and it’s raining, or snowing outside. That’s your reality as you see it.

Are you getting where I am going with this?

You have of course seen the images of traders sitting by the beach, or driving a Ferrari. The idea behind these images, usually brokers’ adverts, is to entice you to trade with them not because they are the greatest broker, but because your untrained mind is greedy. It wants the Ferrari and the beach life style NOW.

Almost too simple isn’t it?

If you are an experienced trader, or an experienced investor you will know how these “little” desires which run deep inside the emotional part of the brain influence your behaviour.

Imagine how your trading mind would relax if every time it steps into your trading room, it sees a lovely, desk, and a pleasing objet d’art. Your conscious trading mind reasons that it only needs a good looking chart.

How wrong you are:

Whenever your trading mind sees something that is beautiful, it stimulates a feel good factor that makes you want to perform better. The brain does not “see” the object d’art, rather it sees what it associates with that objet d’art: Like wealth, success, or security, the key motivators that drive us to carry on, even when we are going through a rough patch.

Remember: Your brain does not think in terms of now and tomorrow. Your brain only sees now in every moment.

When you enter your office next, take a look around, but with your CONSCIOUS mind switched on. Notice what subliminal messages your office is sending to your trading brain. I think you will be surprised.

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Source by Mercedes Oestermann Van Essen

Views: 0

July 21, 2022
Five Tips to Follow Before Seeing a Sports Medicine Doctor

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Almost all the athletes are afraid of seeing an orthopaedic surgeon and it’s completely understandable. Some might get terrified of the idea of a surgery while others might think that the specialist would prohibit him/her from indulging in sports or exercises. However, quite unfortunately, some injuries do not heal with time and need professional medical aid. Before visiting a sports medicine doctor, there are certain necessary tips that you must follow. Let us discuss some of those suggestions in details.

Tips to see an Orthopaedic Surgeon

Visiting a surgeon for any kind of injury is a frightening experience but seeking help from the reputed and best sports medicine doctors would surely lessen all such intimidations. The below-mentioned tips are expected to improve your forthcoming visit.

• In the present times, the sports medicine sector has become extremely sub-specialised. Nowadays general surgeons are not found anywhere. Most of the physicians focus on those patients, who have problems within their subspecialty. Thus, you need to find a doctor, who has training on the type of issue you have. For example, if you fell during jogging and have immense pain on your hand; you must see a hand surgeon.

• You may have seen some other physician at the emergency care unit before going to an actual specialist. In that case, you need to take all the previous medical reports so that the orthopaedic surgeon has the chance of understanding the treatments, you had till now. This would allow him to understand your problem and mention the remedy as fast as possible.

• X-rays and MRIs play a vital role during fractures. So, if you have already performed such tests, do not forget to carry the reports. It would be better if you could get the real images rather than the ones provided by the radiologist. Actual accounts would offer the surgeon with the best opportunity to accurately diagnose the issue and formulate the treatment accordingly.

• If you are visiting this particular surgeon for the first time, you need to provide the doctor with a great deal of medical information. Thus, you need to fill up certain questionnaires and forms. The doctor would go through all these data to get an idea about your medical history and its relation to the issue you are suffering from.

• As an athlete, it is very common for you to suffer from musculoskeletal injuries. But if you have decided to go to a surgeon, you must know the answer to some standard questions:

1. From when did the problem start?

2. How did it occur?

3. Have you tried any treatments?

4. Have you taken any medication?

5. What is the nature of the pain?

6. Are there any activities that aggravate the pain?

Rather than stammering in front of your doctor, you must prepare the answers to these questions beforehand.

Following the above-mentioned tips would surely make your visit to a surgeon a rewarding experience. Before seeking professional help, do conduct a thorough research on the best sports medicine doctors and choose one wisely.

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Source by Rajib KR Saha

Views: 0

July 21, 2022
Manana Habit – How to Get Rid of It

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When at work, at home or in circumstances wherein you can finish tasks do you always say later or tomorrow? In Philippine tongue do you always say “mamaya na, bukas na lang” or anything like it? Do you often place your primary chores second only to doing nothing, dilly-dallying, watching movies, playing games or just idling around only to discover that you need to rush things to catch up on works you have not yet finished? If you are experiencing this then you my friend, are one of the individuals of the thousands of people afflicted by the so-called manana habit syndrome or let’s term it “procrastination virus”, it is actually one of the biggest reason for loss of productivity and late output that could hinder financial or personal growth.

This procrastination virus does not just affect Filipinos contrary to Filipinos beliefs which have been carved into our thinking by fellow countrymen that this habit is only found in the Philippines. They would often say “if you go to America, Japan, Korea and etc. you will find them always on time” is this true? I guess not. Actually this procrastination virus is found globally and no one is safe unless one fully protects himself and gets rid of this bad virus.

For lots of people, saving up their tasks for later is more habit than desire. It is difficult to start in a timely fashion especially if the penalties for being late are things that one can probably bear. If you belong to this kinds of people as i am yet you desire to shake off your propensity for procrastination then you visited the right article. Here are few tips to help you overcome this dilemma and develop to more productive and reliable individual.

1. Plan your schedules – It is advisable to list your schedules and activities based on priority. This will help you accurately plan your schedule and resources. An organizer or calendar of events will help you prepare and schedule your task so that you can begin them at once and finish them on timely manner and have quality output.

2. Save leisure activities for later – If you procrastinate do it positively, apply it in your leisure activities. Many people leave their work off for later saying, ” I have lots of time anyway, I’ll just have a little fun then make it up later” While it is good to have fun sometimes overdoing it makes you vulnerable to rush attacks. Is it not good to have fun after accomplishing your tasks?

3. Don’t Underestimate Your Tasks – occasionally procrastination sets in because people underestimate the resources, difficulty, and time spent for an individual task. They would usually say, “The job is easy I can finish that within an hour” The problem is there are always chances they can’t, no matter how easy or difficult a task is, it would still take time and resources to accomplish it. If you underestimate a task you will most likely set too little time to do it.

Lastly don’t allow yourself to be too comfortable doing nothing; it will help if you reserved your subconscious alarm each time you are doing nothing. Get this alarm to remind you of things that may need to be completed. This will help you nurture the idea that jobs accomplished promptly means extra time for relaxation soon after. However, even if this is the issue, always remember to leave enough time for rest as this always help you to think and work in full capacity. The trick here is not to overdo your rest. There is time for rest and there is time for leisure.

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Source by Robert Pepoa

Views: 0

July 21, 2022
The Power Of Pocket Money

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Kids have always loved the thrill of receiving their very own pocket money to spend however they like. From saving up to buy the toy they’ve had their eye on for weeks to the quick delight that comes from waving around a bubble sword or getting stuck into a new puzzle book, hours of fun can come from the simplest of things.

Halifax, which has conducted an annual pocket money survey since 1987, suggests the average amount kids receive is now £7.01. And in today’s financial climate, pocket money can be a good way to teach children to be careful with their cash and learn how to make it go further. Advance education about the importance of saving and an understanding of money has been shown to give children a head start when it comes to money management in later life.

But it’s not just the kids that are jumping onto the pocket money bandwagon.

Parents are also opting to turn away from bigger box items. After all, there’s nothing more frustrating than shelling out on an expensive toy only to see your child tire of it after half an hour. Especially when it takes so long to undo all the wasteful packaging!

The growing trend for pocket money toys means a wider variety for the smaller customer, and it’s a great way for parents to get the latest fad without breaking the bank.

One pocket money item that has seen incredible growth in sales is slime and putty. Venture onto YouTube and you’ll find millions of videos of kids playing with it. In fact, there are even global slime conventions throughout the world off the back of this massive craze and there is no sign of it slowing down. Global sales are still rising and the popularity of this realtively simple and inexpensive toy is still growing. With thousands of variations – magnetic slime, rainbow slime, glow in the dar slime and more this is the craze that should go for many months more.

Of course, certain toys are timeless and will never go out of fashion. Spinning tops, tumbling tower games, marble drops and classic board games have captured children’s imaginations throughout the years and continue to be just as popular today as they ever were.

Another range that has been adapted for the pocket money market is the educational toy. It’s no secret that play is a great way to help children learn and toys are continually evolving to support this trend with more and more unique playsets and experimental kits to keep them entertained.

So to summarise, think twice before thinking you need to shell out large sums of money to keep your kids happy. Sometimes a £1 pot of slime will bring just as many smiles.

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Source by Vicky Walmsley

Views: 0

July 21, 2022
How to Cure Acne – 4 Secrets to Get Rid of Acne Naturally

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I break down the top foods you should be eating and supplements you should be taking to get rid of acne. I also cover the best face washes to use for clean, healthy skin and what foods you MUST get out of your diet immediately if you want to get rid of your acne.

Causes of Acne:

– One of the leading causes of acne today is the buildup of bad bacteria, yeast, and candida in the gut and digestive tract.

– Taking antibiotic drugs and birth control pills, drinking chlorinated and fluorinated water, and consuming excess sugar can increase the growth of bad bacteria, yeast, and candida within the body.

Secret 1 to Get Rid of Acne Naturally:

1. Remove: Sugar, which feeds yeast and candida. Also, reduce fruit intake.

Replace with: Stevia, a calorie-free, sugar-free, all-natural sweetener.

Raw Honey, a healthy, natural sweetener.

Consume berries in moderation.

2. Remove: Grains, especially gluten, which causes inflammation of the intestinal tract.

Healing the gut will clear the skin.

Replace with: Gluten-free grains, such as coconut flour and almond flour.

3. Remove: Hydrogenated oils, which increase the amount of oils in the sebaceous glands of the skin.

Replace with: Healthy fats, such as coconut oil.

Secret 2 to Get Rid of Acne Naturally:

1. High-Fiber Foods

– Fiber helps to reduce bad bacteria and increase good bacteria (probiotics) in the gut

– The best sources of fiber are:

a. Sprouted Nuts and Seeds (flaxseed, chia seeds, almonds)

b. Vegetables

2. High-Quality Protein

– Protein helps to balance blood sugar levels to rid acne.

– The best sources of high-quality protein are:

a. Organic Chicken and Turkey

b. Grass-Fed Beef

c. Wild-Caught Fish

d. Organic Eggs

e. Sprouted Brown Rice Protein

3. Healthy Fats

– Coconut oil is the best oil to get rid of acne.

– Coconut oil contains antimicrobial properties to kill off bad bacteria and fight off acne.

A great way to include healthy fiber, protein, and fat into your diet is by consuming a superfood shake for breakfast that includes:

– coconut milk

– sprouted flax or chia seeds

– organic protein powder

Secret 3 to Get Rid of Acne Naturally:

1. Probiotics:

– Probiotics kill off bad bacteria in the gut and help boost the immune system.

– 80% of the immune system is located in the gut.

– Consume probiotic-rich foods, such as:

a. Cultured Vegetables

b. Kefir

c. Yogurt

d. Amasi

– Look for 50 billion IU’s daily in a probiotic supplement.

2. Zinc:

– Zinc helps to repair the gut lining and naturally boost the immune system.

– Taking 50 mg of zinc per day is very effective in fighting acne.

3. Antioxidants:

– Elderberry is the most effective antioxidant for reversing acne.

– Try adding 1 tbsp. elderberry syrup or extract in your superfoods smoothie.

Candida Cleanse:

– Remove all sugar and grains from diet and consume foods high in probiotics and fiber.

Secret 4 to Get Rid of Acne Naturally:

– Use an organic, tea tree oil face wash.

– Tea tree oil is a natural essential oil that kills bad bacteria and moisturizes the skin.

Above are the 4 secrets in order for you to cure acne.

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Source by Huyen Truong

Views: 0

July 21, 2022
Love Is Not
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Valentine’s week is focused on multiple ways of showing others that one cares for or is in love with them. Hearts, flowers, candy and trinkets are given as symbols of devotion but not all are done with the right motives or with healthy commitment.

We all think that we know what love is but then act in ways that do not match our words. Here are some of things to consider:

Love is not:
1. Giving someone everything that they want because by doing so you believe they will change for good. Frequently clients have told me that they felt giving money to wayward teens would encourage them to come home. Not! People usually do what they want and cannot be bribed or coerced into doing what others want.
2. Ignoring issues and crossing fingers that they will resolve themselves. Not talking means not dealing with things and past behaviors are usually a predictor of future behaviours. Wishing and hoping isn’t the same as resolving.
3. Accepting abusive behaviors. We teach people how to treat us. If you have been abused and you accept a hurried insincere apology you will likely become caught in a cycle of abuse followed by apology followed by abuse.
4. Time served. Just because you have been in relationship with someone for a period of time doesn’t mean that you are healthy, safe or secure.
5. Keeping secrets. The underlying foundation of trouble is built with dishonesty and hidden actions. If you need to keep something secret that means that deep down you already know that you are up to “no good”.
6. Blaming others rather than facing your own failings. Most people do not want to look in a mirror that shows their own flaws. Instead they point the finger and distract the conversation by focusing on another person.
7. Demanding information about private matters. When adult children want to know details about the will of their aging parents, they can present as entitled and inappropriate. An attitude of “what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine too” can destroy relationships!
8. Vengeance for past hurts or failures. Hurting others is not a good response for those who have been hurt. Focus on healing instead of on trying to get even.
9. Enabling. There is a show on television that shows individuals who weigh over 600 pounds. Those who purchase the food for the one who becomes immobile or bed-ridden end up having to care for the obese person. When you enable someone, both of you pay a price for this.
10. Playing games with emotions. Sweet talk, false promises and cheating can be very hurtful. Stop it!
When it comes to being a Valentine it is important not just to think about the other person. Instead examine when and how you show your love. Are your words and actions healthy or are you in an acting role that considers only your own selfish needs and wants?

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Source by Linda Hancock

Views: 0
July 21, 2022
6 Key Elements of Customer Relationship Marketing

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Customer Relationship Marketing (CRM) is a highly topical and relevant way of thinking about marketing. It is relevant because of the internet, and the impact it has had on the way marketing is carried out by businesses.

In this article, I’d like to look at six of the key conceptual elements which under-pin the CRM approach.

Element 1: Customer Differentiation

As its’ name implies, CRM is a customer centric approach to business. With this approach, a company is aiming to differentiate its’ product or service offering by customer profile. Instead of a more conventional approach, where a company differentiates primarily by its’ products or services.

Element 2: Long Term Emphasis

The aim here is to build a relationship with a customer over a period of time. This approach dove-tails very well with many Inbound Marketing strategies which are used on the internet.

This ongoing relationship has both cost and revenue benefits. On the cost side, it is almost always less expensive to market to an existing customer, than find a new one. The reason is simple; they already trust your organisation.

Element 3: Continuing Transactions

This is in some ways related to element two above. Rather than seeking one-off transactions with customers aim for multiple transactions. This may be in the form of cross-sales, add-on sales etc. Or it may be that you become a preferred supplier for a given niche product or service.

Sometimes, this is an economic necessity, as the cost of getting a first transaction is so high, that only repeat sales make the process worthwhile.

Element 4: Two-Way Communication

A core element in the building up of meaningful customer relationships is their ability to stay in touch with a company. With the advent of social media, email and SMS, this is even easier. This technology allows the communication to become more of a two-way process. And it is the customers who are just as likely to initiate a communication as is the organisation.

This is a great way to get real feedback of people’s wants and needs. And it ties in well with element one above; creating customer centric products and services.

Element 5: Retention Focus

With the CRM approach, a company is focused more on how to retain customers as opposed to simply how to acquire more customers. Aiming for a low customer churn rate is seen as highly desirable, and it is very often a cost effective way of doing business.

This feature again ties in well with the shift in power between buyers and suppliers that the internet has created. Buyers are no longer dependent on supply companies to tell them what’s available. They can go to the internet and do their own research, and share stories with other people who have used a product or service.

Element 6: Share of Values

By aiming to share a value set with their customers, companies can build strong relationships. These strong relationships translate into a clear brand identity, which transcends the ability of organisations to simply buy loyalty with advertising or special offers.

Summary

In summary, CRM is a major shift in marketing practice, from mass marketing to individualized marketing. The focus has shifted from acquiring lots of new customers to retaining and building more business from a smaller base of loyal high-value customers.

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Source by David R Durham

Views: 0

July 21, 2022
Raw Red Penis? 6 Tips for Healing

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Although a man may enjoy the process by which he gets a raw, red penis – for example, by engaging in hours of blissful sex, often with the penis be handled in a rough but thoroughly delightful manner – he may afterwards wish he had exercised a little restraint. As penis health issues go, a raw, red penis is uncomfortable and inconvenient, but it is something that a little well-planned healing can take care of with (hopefully) no lasting damage.

So for the man who smiles beatifically at the thought of the devilish activities that have rendered his penis sore and tender to the touch, the following tips for healing that red penis may prove beneficial.

Healing tips

– Give it a rest. First and foremost, a man who has gained a red penis from overuse and rough handling needs to man up and give the poor fellow a bit of a rest. Granted, this can be hard to do. With thoughts in his mind about the sexual gymnastics he so recently enjoyed still fresh in his mind, many a man is tempted to jump right back in the saddle – whether that saddle involves another companion or simply his own hand. But no matter how tempted he may be, the dude will be better off if he exercises a little self-control and lets the healing process complete. Otherwise, he'll end up in even worse shape.

– Avoid temptation. With that said, it behooves a man to not invite temptation. While giving his penis a rest, he should also avoid triggers – favorite porn videos, conversations with a titillating co-worker, etc. – likely to cause his penis to pop up and beg for some attention.

– Choose clothing carefully. Sure, a guy may enjoy advertising his best qualities by wearing tight pants and perhaps going commando. But that's not going to help the worn-out penis. A little looseness in the cut of the trousers keeps the manhood from rubbing up against cloth – and wearing soft cotton underwear is going to soothe it more than the feel of rough wool or too-smooth polyester.

– Run free at home. Of course, at home and in private (or with the understanding of a roommate), it can be helpful to let the penis air out totally. Hanging out naked (or at least pants-less and underwear-less) helps speed up the healing process.

– Cool it. Depending on how raw and sore it is, many a red penis responds well to a little cold compress. Sure, he'll shrink and withdraw from it at first – but the coolness can be especially soothing and can encourage him to settle down as well.

– Watch the chemicals. When the penis is in a sore and raw state, it is even more susceptible to irritants. For that reason, be careful to avoid any cleansers or soaps that might irritate it. Mild soaps are good, and nothing that includes any fragrances should be used. The same goes for laundry detergents; the fewer harsh ingredients it contains, the better the penis will feel.

Healing a raw, red penis can take some time and effort. Things can go better and more smoothly if a guy makes a practice of applying a first rate penis health creme (health professionals recommend Man 1 Man Oil, which is clinically proven mild and safe for skin) regularly. For best results, look for a crème that can properly and thoroughly moisturize the poor penis. A crème with both a high end emollient (such as shea butter) and a natural hydrator (like vitamin E) is urged. In addition, penis skin will be more resilient if a crème with a potent antioxidant is used, such as alpha lipoic acid. This will enable the skin to better fight excess free radicals, which otherwise can cause oxidative damage.

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Source by John Dugan

Views: 0

July 21, 2022
It Appears That My Husband Doesn’t Want To Have Sex With Me After His Affair

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I sometimes hear from wives who are devastated not only by their husband’s cheating or affair, but also by the loss of intimacy and physical contact. For whatever reason, sex has been taken off the table. So at a time when a wife is already hurt and confused, she’s now struggling with the fact that she can’t have the reassurance of being intimate. This leaves her wondering whether her husband is still attracted to her sexually and whether or not her marriage will be able to recover.

She might say, “my husband had an affair about two months ago. At first, I would not even speak to him. Eventually, I allowed him to come and see the kids, and little by little, we began talking again. I can tell that he feels very guilty and embarrassed. He goes out of his way to be accommodating and kind to me. He has told me that although he’d like to stay married and that he would never cheat on me again, he can’t ask me to stay with him because he doesn’t know if he could stay with me if I cheated. He is basically saying that he wouldn’t blame me if I refused to take him back. I’ve told him that I’m going to take my time in making a decision. But up until this week, I truly was considering it. However, last weekend, the kids and I watched a movie with my husband and they fell asleep. My husband and I ended up talking and laughing. One thing lead to another and before long we were kissing. When things were about to get intimate, my husband pulled away and said ‘I just can’t have sex with you right now.’ I was stunned, so I asked, ‘you can’t or you won’t?’ He got up and said ‘I just can’t. I’m sorry.’ I have no idea what to make of this. I have tried to ask him about this, but he always changes the subject. Is he not attracted to me? Can he not physically complete the task because of the affair? I want to save my marriage, but I also want to have a healthy sex life again one day. Why would a man not be able to have sex with his wife after the affair?”

I can’t speak for your husband, but I’d suspect that it wasn’t that he couldn’t have sex with you. I suspect that he could have completed the task if he had felt right about it. However, many men have quite a bit of guilt and shame after the affair. So they know that having sex again might create a good deal of awkwardness and negative feelings. On the one hand, they may very much want to have sex with you. But they are ashamed of this desire since they feel that they don’t have any right to ask this of you. Plus, they know that when you disrobe and begin to have sex, you might both be caught up in thoughts of him having sex with someone else, since that wound is so fresh. The thought of this might terrify him. And he might figure that it’s better to just wait to have sex than to try it now and have it be a disaster. Also, he may not want for it to look like he’s only interested in sex with you when he doesn’t really deserve it.

I know that this is painful and may feel like a rejection, but let’s look at the facts. Your husband and yourself were having a nice, light-hearted time laughing together. He was clearly into it when he was kissing you. And then something changed. Since he’s told you that he’d like to save your marriage, I highly doubt that he’s not attracted to you. In fact, I’m sure it was tempting to have sex. However, he was probably trying to avoid a potentially embarrassing or awkward encounter. And perhaps he didn’t want for you to feel taken advantage of in the morning or he did not want for you to feel guilty.

Many couples delay sex after an affair for a couple of different reasons. They want to make sure that it is the right time. They do not want to rush into it and potentially make bigger problems than they already had. Many know that if the sex was awkward and just not good then they would take that to mean that their marriage was doomed. So they wait until they are sure that it will be right, because they know that they are going to analyze it.

Your husband could have the same thought process. He may want to wait until you’re both sure that it’s the right time. He may not want to look like the creep who is pressuring his wife to have sex after his affair. And he probably knows that you might both have thoughts of the affair during sex. All these reasons are why it can truly make sense to wait.

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Source by Katie Lersch

Views: 0

July 20, 2022